What should I do? (work related)

LizC78 · May 2010

Ok so on Friday a guy that works in my office said something VERY inappropriate to me. 3 other women heard him say it. And while it was embarrassing/uncomfortable for me at the time, I really dont want to make a big deal out of it.

Since others heard, it was brought to the attention of HR. I have already told them what was said and I agree it should have never been said. I don't think he should be allowed to say stuff like he did.

Now they want me to go in and talk with the our mgr this afternoon. I don't want too! It is strange and uncomfortable hence the reason why he shouldnt have said it.

WWYD?

BTW.. They wont actually 'DO' anything to this guy.. He works on a team with his dad and sister and they produce too much $$. So I just feel like this is just formality and then I will feel even weirder.

MellyMelB · May 2010

Wait...who wants you to talk to your manager? You already went to HR. Shouldn't they talk to your manager AND his manager?

LizC78 · May 2010

We have the same mgr. They want me to talk to the regional mgr. (sorry left that word out)

MellyMelB · May 2010

I think you should have HR handle it and if they want you to get involved then you do. I don't think this guy's comment should cause you an undue embarrassment by having to go to the big boss which would make you be the one to have to repeat his inappropriate comment.

cocojack10 · May 2010

I once was spoken an inappropriate comment, andI reported it to the attorney (no HR dept at the time), and I let him handle it. I didn't want to "face the music" anymore... like you, too embarrassed. I'd speak to HR and tell them you don't want to "relive" the moment, and go through further embarrassment (seeming like the tattle-tale, even though it really wasn't you). They should understand. If HR and Mgr still need tot talk to "Mr Wonderful" then it is up to them.

GL

EliStar · May 2010

I agree with what pp have said. If you don't want to re-hash what was said anymore, they have to respect your wishes.

My advice: If you don't want to talk about it, memorialize what happened in a memo and submit it the regional manager. Make sure to include in the memo that as the incident was already embarassing enough, you would appreciate if they would not cause you any further discomfort by forcing you to discuss it any further. Understand that the reasoning behind their wanting to talk to you about it is to cover their a$$es in case you decide to sue. If you alleviate their concerns in writing, they will most likely leave you alone.

melly&jimmy · May 2010

Working in HR, I understand why HR wants you to speak with your manager (chain of command). Sorry you're going through this. I loathe workplace drama. However, inappropriate comments should not be tolerated, no matter how much $$ he brings in. Employees should not be made to feel as if they have to put up with it. I agree with the PP, put it in writing and let HR handle it.

MrsJOSEnADRI · May 2010

melly&jimmy:
Working in HR, I understand why HR wants you to speak with your manager (chain of command). Sorry you're going through this. I loathe workplace drama. However, inappropriate comments should not be tolerated, no matter how much $$ he brings in. Employees should not be made to feel as if they have to put up with it. I agree with the PP, put it in writing and let HR handle it.

This!