Did you have depression before you had your baby?

Irishsapphire · May 2010

I am kinda feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I guess I feel like this depression is going to get worse when the baby is born (and I feel bad that I cannot just enjoy this time).

It is a combination of not really knowing for sure what to do with daycare--I feel like I cannot find someone to take care of baby or make a decision about it until the baby is born. I am not sure about my job--lately it has been stressful at work--my supervisor has expressed concerns about some areas of my work--and it is that crazy feeling that why am I trying to figure out daycare and make a job work when most of paycheck will go to daycare (but I have been at this company almost 7 years, I have good medical and vacation benefits, and I have a profit sharing fund so part of me still wants to stay). I am carrying low, and it is difficult to find maternity pants and jeans that work. I feel like I am being pulled down to the earth, and my body is not used to the weight. I am thinking that my baby will be big (my husband is 6'3"), and I feel like I am big enough now--I cannot even fathom how big I will be in 12 weeks. Like I just want to hand over the baby to my husband, run like heck, go to the spa, and sleep on my stomach.

And the bills keep accumulating. And I know that it will be more expensive once the baby is born. I have worked really hard to pay down some of my other debts during this pregnancy.

I guess I figure that I have to take this one thing at a time, and that I am not going to be perfect with everything.

taylorsue00 · May 2010

im sorry, if it helps any your not the only one. i feel just as overwhelmed and helpless. but i think thats just apart of becoming a mom and having a LO enter the world. theres so much to do and seems like there is no time to do it or even impossible to accomplish. hard as it is stay positive and seek support from close friends and family. and the last part you wrote is exactly what you gotta do, take in one thing at a time and know your not perfect (no one is). good luck to you, and this will pass... in the end you will have a beautiful LO. it will all be worth it!! and from my posts i have been told by other moms that you can always talk to your doctor and he/she can help you with the depression, wether the answer is therapy or medication. many of mommies need the extra help...perfectly normal.

also, my BD is 6'2 and i'm only 5'1 sooo i can see where you scared on the big part.

RickeyandDani · May 2010

Mama all these worries are completely normal! Let me share my story and see if I can put you at ease.

Pre-pregnant, for some years, I had experienced anxiety and depression on and off...even got medicated for it here and there. Then in 2006 I went off it and was fine. I got pregnant in April 2009 and at some point in 1st trimester, I became a wreck! My anxiety grew and grew as I furthered in my pregnancy. I became obsessive about a clean house, a clean husband, a clean car...it was BAD. I grew anxious about being a mom to the point where I doubted even my husband's ability to be a father. That was not good...it made my DH and I start having problems and I withdrew into a deep depression. They wanted to hospitalize me but no place would take a pregnant woman in her 3rd trimester, and I refused to take meds for the sake of DS. DH got so scared t osee me llike this. Fortunately as my EDD got closer, I was more focused on that. All the other worries about job, daycare, etc seemed to lessen. I, like you was scared to death about how big LO would be. I was HUGE and all baby for the most part. I had to be induced because I went overdue. I had a very easy labor and delivery! I pushed out a 9.1 lb baby in 24 minutes! It was an amazing experience...the start of many! I had a big baby, but the post partum care wasn't bad at all. I had an epidural thank God! The first month was hard. At DS's 2 week check up I filled out some test and they diagnosed me wiht PPD. I had the most horrible intrusive thoughts. To the point where I KNEW it wasn't normal or right. They put me on 20mg of Celexa to start and ended up increasing the dosage to 40mg. They tried switching it to Lexapro and adding Abilify...both made me sick and I had panic attacks. So they switched me back. DS is now 3 months old and I've never felt better! I'm enjoying every second of being a mommy. When he cries, I giggle at his little pouty face and tell him "it's ok little man! You are okay!" I cherish every moment I have with him and each little change he makes. I've even gotten my libido back...finally! This weekend I even did some gardening. I've started wearing jewelry again and even went and got my hair colored. I feel great!

My point........there's a light at every tunnel. You may have to go through a lot to get there, but it's sooooooo worth it when you do! I PROMISE being a mommy will be the BEST thing you've ever done....you WILL feel this joy! Just keep you eyes open for symptoms of PPD.

ScarletD4509 · May 2010

I suffered from depression since I have been a teen. When I got pregnant I weened off my medicine and felt great. Then at 22 weeks I developed severe antepartum depression. It was awful. I was put on Zoloft for the remainder of the pregnancy.

After the birth I started to feel a little depressed and anxious again so they upped my zoloft and I have been great ever since.

Have APD does not necessarily preclude PPD if you are aware and can be proactive. But it does make you more predisposed to it, so talk with you doctor, get support and help now in order to avoid it in the future if possible. Its a lot harder to deal with it with a new baby to tend to as well.

PM me if you have any questions or would like to talk.

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Did you have depression before you had your baby?

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