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Secondary IF
June24Bride
member
She DD'd?
June24Bride
member
in Secondary IF
This discussion has been closed.
Re: She DD'd?
maybe she said it out of hurt and frustration, but decided she did not want to leave it out there.
Does it matter?
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Kind of when she put it out there for us all to read to begin with. I couldn't even comment on it because I thought it was so out there.
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
I went through the cache and read the post that was deleted. Honestly, she just needed to vent. I think we have all been in that place if we are honest w/ourselves where maybe we don't have the most "reasonable" or "sensible" feelings but we have them and we just want to get them out. That is what venting is about. So you can get it out, and move on.
This board in the past has always been a place of support for each other. Some here are facing difficult impasses where having a 2nd baby may not be in the cards. That is a pain that I can't comprehend despite my IF journey. I really hope we could keep this in mind when deciding how to react to someone. Walk in thier shoes a little bit before you judge. Or as my mom always said, "if you can't say something nice don't say it".
IF is such a sensitive painful journey that it is just sooo important that we try to be supportive of one another!
woah, easy now. no one was judging. and yes, we all know how painful this journey is.
I AM one of the women you speak of, in which we do not know what our future holds for baby #2.
We can disagree on this board too and be supportive, you should know this! Success after IF is a great successful board because there is such a great melting pot of women, some up front and honest, some quiet, some offensive, but it works, and the board thrives. I'm not gonna go on this arguement again because we just got over the last drama a few weeks back.
I think the responses to her were way harsh, especially from people who haven't done IVF or who aren't OOP.
Family helps each other out. I'd feel the same way in her shoes. She wasn't asking them, but frustrated that they see their son in pain, have the means to help him out and yet would rather spend money on frivolous things. (and yes, fancy cars, etc are frivolous)
Is it their money? Sure. Is it their right to make that decision? Absolutely.
Would I resent my parents if they did the same? Yup.
We spent $25k OOP last year on IF, and there's no way we could have done it without family help. I didn't ask. They offered and could afford to do it.
I'd do the same for my son if he's ever in our shoes.
I wholeheartedly agree. I have heard this same comment from my mother on more times than I count.
Her anthem is "parents help out their kids"
K. I guess we shall agree to disagree. I could never hold a grudge that doesnt even make sense....from what she posted, she had not discussed in detail about their IF $, etc. ... they may not want to interfere or have any clue, i'm just giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I would never ever ever EXPECT my parents to pay for my IF treatments.
That's all, I'm done. Glad to see people agree with me
It is one thing to give an opinion but was this follow up post to keep it going necessary?
As you admitted there were things you admit you didn't know were going on (that were in earlier posts). This particular poster is at a much later stage in treatments than you are and is out of options unless she can by some miracle do IVF and endure further intesive surgery. This is a VERY sensitive time. I hope you have quick success and don't get to that point but in the mean do try and walk in others shoes a little before you judge.
I agree it is one thing to have diverse opinions but there is a point where tactfully it is best to drop things. A deleting is probably a good hint.
considering that you do not know what my journey for #2 has been like, i suggest you do not jump to conclusions, and it's not necessary that you compare IF journeys. That's pretty low.
Again, I did not judge. I gave my thoughts....and I was NOT alone.
You just posted above where you're at, which is Clomid and TI and just now having to pay OOP. That's a far cry from IVF. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just saying that it's a different place. By the time you get to IVF, you don't have much hope left. There's a lot more dispair, why me, etc. I don't think anybody was playing pain olympics with you, just pointing out that you might not completely understand where she's coming from. You have OPTIONS. She doesn't. She's at the end unless she has a financial miracle. You're not.
Your comment about Money Matters was a little snarky, I think. It's the one I remember specifically from that post. She wasn't EXPECTING her parents to pay for it, she was VENTING. That's different.
Furthermore, you do not have to be in her spot to show some compassion. You should know that these times can be some of the most trying, and devastating of our lives.
Common sense would tell you that she was venting, and maybe in need of support. If you can not show yourself at your IF worst here, on an infertility board, and get support, where else can you go? The road we travel is hard enough without others jumping at the chance to criticize.
ps. thank you to the 3 of you who emailed me in agreeance. I am glad i'm not an island here.
Whether people agree with you or not was not the point. She was looking for support and to vent, and she got a bunch of people jumping on her.
If you're tallying votes, you're missing the point of this board.