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kmartinez80
member
Update: He's contesting the order of protection!
kmartinez80
member
Well, we had our hearing last Thursday and he brought a lawyer with him. I still have no idea how he paid for her, but I'm guessing credit cards. Anyway, he tried to get the orders quashed (I think that's the term) for both me and our daughter. Well, I told the judge my reasons for obtaining the orders and then his lawyer asked him questions (he flat out lied about just about everything, grrr) and then she proceeded to ask me questions and try to drag me through the mud. I answered everything calmly, but inside I was so PO'd about some of the accusations that were coming from his lawyer. Anyway, I told the judge that it is not my intention to cut H out of DD's life (ture), but I would just like to make sure that she is safe. So the outcome of the hearing was that my order of protection stayed in place and DD's order of protection was modified so that H can see her as long as a 3rd party that is approved by me is present (which is what I was hoping would happen). I truly don't want DD to not see her dad, but I need to make sure she's safe.
Anyway, he got to see her that evening and the next day, then he went back to CA (where his family is). Since then he's been texting me that he misses me and wants to come home and take me back. When I don't respond how he wants he gets angry and threatens to file papers and get custody of DD and take her back to CA with him. He said that if I proceed with divorce he's gonna get nasty and we'll end up hating each other. He's already made some really horrible allegations against me in the hearing, he said I shook our daughter (I would never, ever, ever do such a thing); it makes me sick just to think of such a thing. He's also told me via text that DD is now in danger because she's with me and he's gonna get the judge to order a medical evaluation of her to make sure I haven't hurt her and he's also gonna request a psych eval. of me. Some of his texts make me so mad! I'm dreading divorcing him because he's gonna make this so much worse than it has to be (I know divorce is never fun, but he's gonna hit below the belt every chance he gets). So, I've got an appointment with a divorce lawyer tomorrow. We'll see how that goes!
I really appreciate all the support I've gotten from you ladies. I hate to be so much drama, but I don't have many people I can talk to about this stuff IRL. That's next on my list, find a therapist.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update: He's contesting the order of protection!
Yours is a story that shows that the court system truly works. You may have felt ganged up on in the courtroom, but the judge saw the truth in your story and made a fair ruling (supervised visitation for the father) that will allow you to feel safe and yet still preserve the parent/child bond.
Is your ex allowed to contact you via text? If not, you need to bring this to the attention of your lawyer or bring a copy of all his texts to court. Even if he has the legal right to contact you via text to get information on the welfare of the child, he doesn't have the right to use it harass you. If you have a lawyer, have them send a letter to your ex stating that you will only respond to text messages regarding the progress of the child or to make arrangements for visitation, but that all other texts will be ignored. Then you truly need to ignore his messages -- respond to nothing other than "How is LO today?" or "How did the well-baby visit go today?" Anything else -- no matter how infuriating -- you must ignore.
As a friend of mine says "He can't get your goat if you don't have a goat to get got." Don't participate in his anger. If you do, you are only providing him fuel.
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