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Attachment Parenting
Question for mommas of intact boys
DH and I have decided not to circumcise Baby2 if it's a boy. We're both confident in our decision, but all the men in our families are circumcised. I'm worried about someone trying to retract the foreskin during a diaper change. (It's a very large family and they're all very helpful with new babies. Nothing bad to say about THAT! 
) So did you just educate everyone in your family or everyone who changed DS's diaper? Am I worrying too much about this?
) So did you just educate everyone in your family or everyone who changed DS's diaper? Am I worrying too much about this? This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question for mommas of intact boys
i dont know about your family but my family is not very comfortable with the diaper changes. they do it to help but its a quick wipe and on goes the clean diaper. i dont see anyone ever deciding they need to take it upon themselves to go any further.
i never thought that would be an issue
I had a talk with my mom recently about how DH and I decided to leave any boy babies we have intact. She was very supportive (surprising since both my brothers are circ-ed). But when I mentioned not retracting the foreskin, she seemd shocked. She kept asking "but how do you clean him then?!" and I'm worried that this will be everyone's first impulse.
I don't have boys, and IDK, but if I was changing someone else's kid I wouldnt do this. Baths are for serious cleaning, I'd just give a quick swipe, like I do with DDs.
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Well, honestly, when baby is tiny I'm not even sure how one would go about retracting the foreskin. It's really small and I think it would take a q-tip or something smaller than your finger if it needed to be done for any medical reason.
That said, only my parents and daycare providers have changed DS (DH's parents hand the kids to us when they need a diaper change) so my parents were the only people that had to be educated. We just told them not to do anything special and just to wipe down the areas with poop. :-)
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Congratulations on taking your whole baby home! I'm sure he'll thank you when he's older.
His wife will too!!
My family was curious about how to change his diaper. I just explained how easy it is (easier than a circumcision wound, for sure!!) and did his first change with them if they were going to watch him regularly. I also wrote some "baby instructions" to go along with our contact information and added the following to the section about diapers:
****
DIAPERS:
You can use any old ones you want. We buy Pampers Swaddlers Baby-Dry, size 1, because he doesn't leak through them. For diaper rash, we use either Aveeno or Butt Paste but he's fine with just about anything.
David isn't circumcised, but don't worry, it's no big deal! Just wash what you see, no need to pull anything back or anything. Clean his penis like you would a finger. Easy peasy!
By the way.....
NEVER forcibly retract a baby boy. Ever. Their foreskins are attached to their penises by a membrane similar to fingernails - you will hurt your baby if you pull back the foreskin. It will retract on its own by the time your son hits puberty (and long after you've stopped bathing him, usually). By then, your husband can explain how to keep clean the same way you'd explain things to a girl.
Forcible retraction causes the problems that result in unnecessary circumcisions later!
How do you care for an intact penis? Just leave it alone. Rule #2? Leave it alone.
https://www.circumstitions.com/Docs/care.pdf
My reaction as well. My son is "intact," but good lord...
I just said it outloud to everyone:
"if you change his diaper or bathe him - just clean it like you would a finger. The only person who should ever retract his foreskin is him."
I thought my MIL was going to pass out. worth it ;-)
I'm just posting these links for other moms who might be thinking about this... daycare is a big concern for lots of moms- and rightly so. This "Intact care agreement" is worded a little strong- but in some cases is really needed to scare the myths and habits out of someone's head who is just determined to do things they way they think is right.
https://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm
NOCIRC has a pdf file that prints into a tri-fold that covers some of this... but is also a little too in depth for simple diaper change questions...
https://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf
My idea for the OP- would be to have a little instruction sheet laminated and the perfect size to fit on one of those hard plastic diaper wipe cases- glue/tape it on the wipe case and you can be pretty sure that anyone who has your baby and his diaper supplies- will get the message loud and clear.
Double
oh give me a break... the OP has already decided not to circ, so what purpose does this statement serve besides being a jab at those who have circ'ed?
My son is not circed, and this really annoys me. No wonder people think we're judgy
Also, can I just throw out there that I LOATHE the term intact? Boys who are circumcized are not somehow damaged or broken. This kind of inflammatory lingo really burns my biscuit.
C'mon guys... Everyone has a different take on this. No more eye rolls please. The congratulations and encouragement were directed at ME and I'm fine with them.
And I was so proud of this post not turning into a to circ or not to circ debate...