Anyone struggle with getting/asking for help?
I guess it is more of a pressure I put on myself, but I hate being in the position where I can't do everything on my own.
Right now, I have no transportation, and haven't since h took the car back in feb. or so. My moms bf has to get up to take the baby to the babysitter and me to work. Then after I get off, I have to pick up my mom and her bf from their lunch break so they can have the car to get home at night. I'm very thankful that they are generous enough for it to work out, but I feel like such a burden!
Also, as much as I want/need a break, I hate asking/ or taking people up on their offer to babysit dd. From day 1 I have felt as though she was 100% my responsability, and that I needed to be doing 100% of everything for her. It's not as if someone other then myself made me feel that way. All of my friends in high school, had kids in high school and they put them off on everyone else 75% of the time. I swore I would not be like them. Even when H was around, if he had her so I could go out, I would want to be home within 3-4 hours, and I would call and check up on her.
I am working towards getting a car, but it seems as though it's forever away, especially since I have to save to move.
I don't know if any of this makes sense. It has been a rough week at work, and sometimes getting through the day seems nearly impossible, let alone making it to the future.
I hate being dependent on other people! I feel as though I'm not able to provide for dd on my own, and that just makes me feel like a failure.
Re: Anyone struggle with getting/asking for help?
I totally understand, I'm right there with you.
I know that it's hard. I feel like a burden all the time, and when my mom does watch LO I feel like I need to hurry up and get back. Tonight I really was just having a tough time and I knew that I could probably call my mom and ask her to watch the baby for a few hours so I could get some time for myself....but since she watched him twice this month, I just couldn't do it.
I was laid off recently, and even though I can still provide for us financially, since I'm staying with my mom I feel like I need to clean and cook for her and my three bros/sisters that live there. I know what you mean by feeling like a failure. All I have to do is take care of my son and the house, and since I can't figure out how to get LO on a schedule, or get him to sleep more than two hours at a time, I feel like I'm failing. I just keep thinking...this is all I have to do, and I can't do it.
Sorry for the long vent. I just wanted you to know that I understand where you're coming from. I really hope you feel better when you're able to get a car...every little step forward can be so hard, but you're doing a great job.