Is there a polite way to ask for money?
Alaina needs nothing. Her room is packed with toys, so is our backyard, she's set on clothes. She really doesn't need a THING for her birthday.
My brother called me today and said if we want to start a 529 for Alaina he'll pay the initial $100 and make monthly contributions as well, which I think is awesome. We got to talking about how when people ask what to get her, I really can't think of a thing because she already has more stuff than she needs. And when I tell them she doesn't need anything, just coming to her party is gift enough, they start complaining that she has to have a gift.
Is it possible to tell people about her school savings account when they ask what she wants for her birthday without sounding greedy or demanding or whatever? Or does anyone have an idea of what else I can tell them?? We already have a zoo pass.
Re: Is there a polite way to ask for money?
I don't see anything wrong with telling them you would like that to be contributed to. Or savings bonds. I tell people that for ds if they are the type that would like that option. Just say something like, "You know, she already has so much as far as toys go. We would really like her savings account to grow and it is much more of a lasting gift" or something.
There will always be the people who have to get a toy though.
Um, ok. We bought her a sand table/picnic table. No one I know would spend that kind of money on a gift for her. They all want $10-20 range ideas, and get irritated with me when I don't give them a list of ideas. I told some of them art supplies or outdoor toys. If they want to buy more things to add to her pile, that's fine. I'm not going to get pissed at someone for buying her some little people or a baby doll or something, but she already has 20 and everyone wants to be original. lol
I was just wondering if it's rude to say, "well, her uncle opened a school savings account, and if you want to contribute to that, here's the info."
IMO, unless it is immediate family (and even then I am not a fan) there is no polite way to ask for money. If she has enough toys I would ask for books, since you can never have too many, or clothes (if you have a lot, say you need clothes in the next size up for her to grow into)
I think as long as you throw that out there as one idea it's fine. We're in pretty much the same boat. DS will be asking for fall/winter clothes in 2T or 3T sizes, money for his college account, passes for the swimming pool, and maybe the zoo or children's muesum. I also plan on getting rid of any of the toys he doesn't seem to love right before his b-day since I know we'll get some toys no matter what.
I agree with this. Personally, I'd only bring it up If your immediate family asks.
Catching up on sports news...
IMO, unless it is a family member, there's no polite way to ask for money, even if it's for a good cause like a 529.
Some ideas in the $10-20 range are books, crafts, PJs, place settings, beach towel, puppets, GC to Build-a-bear, water bottle (we use DD's Hello Kitty Sigg water bottle constantly and she likes having her own), movie tickets, kite, or accessories if you have something like a train table, doll house, etc.
We have a TON of toys - my mom sends stuff constantly and we buy DD things, too. It's annoying sometimes to watch my house turning into Toys R Us, but I always remind myself that it's a very short timespan that she'll actually play with toys. In 10 yrs from now, this stage will be completely over, so we might as well just jump in and enjoy it now!
Without getting too preachy, be grateful that there are so many people who love your DD and enjoy giving her things. They want to give her a gift that she can enjoy now, not in 16 years, which is perfectly reasonable.
IMO there is not a polite way to ask but that has never stopped me. If you don't want her to have more toys then tell them no toys. For our family and close friends who asked what DD needed we told them diapers, clothes for the next couple of months, and money for her savings account. If they ask then they should get a straight answer.
My house looks like Toys R Us too but I don't mind cause she'll only like these kinds of toys for a short while.
I think with friends and other guests it's trickier because they want to give something. Especially friends with no kids always assume that your kid must have a toy because she is a kid.
Just go with your gut but remember that people will end up buying whatever they want in the end.
If someone asks you for a gift idea, you can say "she likes butterflies and trucks now, or you can contribute to her college savings account." That way you're just offering it up as a suggestion and it's not a demand for money. I wouldn't be offended if someone said that to me.
This!
Thanks for the extra ideas - puppets is a good one.:)
Oh and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. I've just been getting phone calls for weeks and couldn't think of anything. And then when I had no suggestions it was 20 questions: does she have dolls and doll stuff? yes. does she have blocks? like 5 different sets. does she have a swimsuit? yeah, 4.
I'll just keep my mouth shut about the 529. lol They'd probably just say "well that's no fun!" anyway.
Hmm...basically, no. Unless its family and you're open talking about money like that. (My family is so I would have no problem just say "cash" when they ask me what she wants for her birthday- but that's just my family!)
Maybe you could use this as an opportunity to go through all of her toys and get rid of the unnecessary stuff- if you want money, you could sell them at a yard sale or to a consignment shop (or resale, like Once Upon a Child). If not, now might be a good time to teach your daughter about donating to people who are less fortunate.
I have the same problem that you do. My kids need nothing materialistic. We're overflowing with stuff that I'm desperate to get rid of. Yet every time my MIL and SIL ask what my kids want for bdays & Christmas I'm quite honest with them and say, "they need nothing. Either don't get them anything or give them cash for college or to spend on vacation, or buy them a museum/zoo pass." The response I always get is, "well, we want to get them something to open." I always say, "fine, then, get them a pack or 2 of Matchbox cars because that's what they love, it's cheap, and if you have a quota, give the rest in cash so they can get something useful." It doesn't matter what I say, they always end up giving them stuff that ends up being clutter, and I'm stuck dealing with Craigslist to try to get rid of them.
Yes, we do give our kids a present, but they are inexpensive presents, such as the aforementioned Matchbox cars. Because really, they need nothing materialistic right now. I would much rather relatives give $ to go towards a bigger purchase such as a trampoline, or a swing set because we need/want that more than say yet another pink outfit, or yet another ride on toy...which we had 6 of at one time...for 2 kids. Tell me that's not excessive, cluttering, and money better spent elsewhere. I donated 3 and I'm still trying to get rid of one on CL that I haven't had any luck with.
I wish I could help you but I can't even get my ILs to listen to me in this regard.