Just checked my last post about being broke...

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

I was a little upset that a few bumpies accused me of not having my priorities straight because I have an iPhone. Let me explain. (i don't think it's fair to judge when you don't know the whole picture) everyone in my house has an iPhone. There are 6 adults. We are on the family plan. Plus dh get a 15% govt discount. So we pay $120/month. Sometimes less. This was $40 cheaper than being with verizon. We cut our main house line off To save Money and only use our cell phones. I have an old laptop that we used and a verizon card so we'd have Internet. That was $60/month. We dropped that to save. I'm not gonna tell everyone how much I pay each month in bills because that's my business. I don't get very personal on the bump about my life but I broke Down last night and needed someone to vent to. I did not want to bother dh ( he was at work, working an extra shift for money) because he's doing his best and it would have been unfair for me to do that. I'm trying my best to coupon clip, cut out certain "luxeries" and hide the fact that we are broke from my 3 year old. His cousin always gets whatever he wants and when DS wants a new toy I'll take him to the thrift shop or yard sale. (once I got him an space shuttle and little astronaut people for $.25!) Children do not need that kinda burden on them.So understand, please, that I am doing my best.

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

Forgot to add, if we don't get out of this mess soon dh is going to sell his car. That should help alot.

JinglesChic · May 2010

Really? Some people blasted you for using an iPhone? I know a lot of people who got it to get rid of their landlines.

KGriggs724 · May 2010

I'm sorry girlie, I think a lot of us are in your position and I know its not easy. My DH was in an accident 2 years ago and cannot physically work now, and I was laid off after DS was born.

Its not fun having to cut things out.

My prayers are with you and your family.

redhotchili83 · May 2010

I am not one to get into someones business and I trust taht if you say what you're doing is the best you can, then it is!

On the topic of your 3 year old, I grew up with a single mom and despite my mom's best effort, I was aware of our very dire financial situation. I overheard my mom once on the phone with my grandfather crying that she had to ask him for money for the mortgage. But you know what? Although I wouldnt wish anyone to grow up worrying about money, I appreciate things so much more than my friends who had everything handed to them. So know that although things REALLY suck for you right now, your kids will grow up knowing whats important and won't need material crap to make them happy!

Pumpmaster T · May 2010

You do what you have to do. Sure, you have an iphone, so what? Even if you wanted to get rid of it, it would cost you like $200 or whatever the fee is. $120/month for 2 phones isn't bad at all.

Liss_37 · May 2010

You shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone. ESPECIALLY bumpies.

No one here is walking in your shoes and no one knows how your life works. if they want to blast you for having an iphone than f*ck them for being ignorant insensitive douches.

Don't let them get you down girl. Remember if you're ever going to see a rainbow you have to stand a little (or a lot) of rain. kudos for you for coupon clipping and trying to cut back on the luxuries.

*hugs*

teeah22 · May 2010

I'm sorry, maybe people don't understand how much iPhones have come down in price in the last year or so. I know you said you don't want to burden your DH, but you probably need to have a sit down and go over your budget, if you haven't already. You shouldn't be trying to carry all this alone. Good luck!

Oh and I'd look into generic formulas too, we use the Target Up and Up brand, it's $10 cheaper a can than the corresponding Enfamil. That's a lot of savings (if your DS can tolerate it ok).

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

KGriggs724:
I'm sorry girlie, I think a lot of us are in your position and I know its not easy. My DH was in an accident 2 years ago and cannot physically work now, and I was laid off after DS was born.

Its not fun having to cut things out.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Im very sorry. I hate this economy so bad. So many of my relatives have gotten laid off. I'm so thankful that dh probably won't have that problem. No matter the economy, we'll always need firefighters. But they did freeze raises for everyone:-(

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

teeah22:
I'm sorry, maybe people don't understand how much iPhones have come down in price in the last year or so. I know you said you don't want to burden your DH, but you probably need to have a sit down and go over your budget, if you haven't already. You shouldn't be trying to carry all this alone. Good luck!

Oh and I'd look into generic formulas too, we use the Target Up and Up brand, it's $10 cheaper a can than the corresponding Enfamil. That's a lot of savings (if your DS can tolerate it ok).

We went over our budget 2 weeks ago:-) plus we are gonna switch to bank of America because they are getting rid of their overdraft fees!!

JinglesChic · May 2010

Firemn'sFlame:
KGriggs724:
I'm sorry girlie, I think a lot of us are in your position and I know its not easy. My DH was in an accident 2 years ago and cannot physically work now, and I was laid off after DS was born.

Its not fun having to cut things out.

My prayers are with you and your family.
Im very sorry. I hate this economy so bad. So many of my relatives have gotten laid off. I'm so thankful that dh probably won't have that problem. No matter the economy, we'll always need firefighters. But they did freeze raises for everyone:-(

Hopefully you guys will be safe. DH is a career fireman too, for a combination department. They were talking about eliminating his position for a while since "the volunteers can handle the slack." Unfortunately there's no volleys left. He ended up keeping his job this year, although next year is supposed to be a lot worse. We also have a friend in a neighboring department (fully paid) and he lost his job. The economy is getting better for the private sector, but the municipalities are the last to recover.

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

JinglesChic:
Firemn'sFlame:
KGriggs724:
I'm sorry girlie, I think a lot of us are in your position and I know its not easy. My DH was in an accident 2 years ago and cannot physically work now, and I was laid off after DS was born.

Its not fun having to cut things out.

My prayers are with you and your family.
Im very sorry. I hate this economy so bad. So many of my relatives have gotten laid off. I'm so thankful that dh probably won't have that problem. No matter the economy, we'll always need firefighters. But they did freeze raises for everyone:-(
Hopefully you guys will be safe. DH is a career fireman too, for a combination department. They were talking about eliminating his position for a while since "the volunteers can handle the slack." Unfortunately there's no volleys left. He ended up keeping his job this year, although next year is supposed to be a lot worse. We also have a friend in a neighboring department (fully paid) and he lost his job. The economy is getting better for the private sector, but the municipalities are the last to recover.

Wow. I hope this doesn't happen. He was at a combination station too but now only pd firefighters work at his. The county Dh works in is supposed to be the 2nd wealthiest counties in the US, so if they are having money problems I hate to think what other areas are going through. (we don't live in that county, we live in the country. Lol)

Philsbride2be · May 2010

no sh!t,,,bank of america is getting rid of overdraft fees??? they owe me a big fat check then, LOL. i am RIGHT there with you, sista. keep your head up. try not to think about it. i am trying so hard to be positive and enjoy my baby, but we owe more each month than we make....oh well though. we are doing the best we can, and talking to all of our lenders on how to make a plan, cut interest rates, skip payments, close and merge accounts, got on the mortgage modification plan, my mom took over my car and car payment. we turned off our Iphones, yeah BIG mistake. the fees assessed every month for roaming, data whatever, talking on off peak times, it costs the same to have an Iphone.

octwed07 · May 2010

i feel for you! Hang in there -- i know in the previous post, many suggested WIC, etc. Look into it and also the food banks. Don't be embarassed about your situation, you'd be surprised how many are in the same boat. Hang in there and stay positive!

skinnursemandee · May 2010

You should not have to answer or explain yourself to any of the ladies here. it is none of their damn business. You are not harming yourself or your child so fvck all.

Look into a few things. For example, if you have a car payment and have never been late or missed a payment, your bank will let you skip ONE payment as a courtesy and just add it to the end of the term of your loan. This will help with one month.

Talk to your phone company about reducing your minutes. I have an Iphone and ATT also and while you need to keep the data plan for the iphone you can reduce your minutes and only use it for emergancies during the day or to make dr. appts. Use the free time at night and weekends to call friends and family.

Talk to your car insurance company and have they relook into your rates. Sometimes you will continue year after year to pay the same rates when you qualify for a deduction based on good driving.

Stop using throw away wipes and use reusable ones. They are cheap and no waste. You can literally use an old flannel sheet and cut it up into pieces, wash clothes etc or go yard saling or thrift store shopping for flannel or cotton and just use that instead. I do not use wipes on my child. I keep a stack of flannel squares and wash clothes and clean her that way after diaper changes. she has never had a rash ever and there are no chemicals.

Clip coupons, buy in bulk and freeze.

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

Philsbride2be:
no sh!t,,,bank of america is getting rid of overdraft fees??? they owe me a big fat check then, LOL. i am RIGHT there with you, sista. keep your head up. try not to think about it. i am trying so hard to be positive and enjoy my baby, but we owe more each month than we make....oh well though. we are doing the best we can, and talking to all of our lenders on how to make a plan, cut interest rates, skip payments, close and merge accounts, got on the mortgage modification plan, my mom took over my car and car payment. we turned off our Iphones, yeah BIG mistake. the fees assessed every month for roaming, data whatever, talking on off peak times, it costs the same to have an Iphone.

https://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/10/your-money/credit-and-debit-cards/10overdraft.html

ValentineNJ · May 2010

Firemn'sFlame:
teeah22:

I'm sorry, maybe people don't understand how much iPhones have come down in price in the last year or so. I know you said you don't want to burden your DH, but you probably need to have a sit down and go over your budget, if you haven't already. You shouldn't be trying to carry all this alone. Good luck!

Oh and I'd look into generic formulas too, we use the Target Up and Up brand, it's $10 cheaper a can than the corresponding Enfamil. That's a lot of savings (if your DS can tolerate it ok).

We went over our budget 2 weeks ago:-) plus we are gonna switch to bank of America because they are getting rid of their overdraft fees!!

DH works for BOA --- it' s just for Debit card trx...be careful if you write checks.

finally2006 · May 2010

is the original post deleted?

JinglesChic · May 2010

finally2006:
is the original post deleted?

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/35980502/ShowThread.aspx

blublusher · May 2010

I posted in your original post but didnt get a response. I still have the two sample cans of similac if you want it! PM me if you do.

cma1989 · May 2010

I'm sorry if you took what I said as "blasting" you. You don't have to explain yourself to me, I was simply responding to what you wrote in your OP. I said that I know my DH pays over $100 for his, and that if we were in trouble that would be one of the first things to go. GL to you and your family.

littlemaybaby · May 2010

I really wouldn't consider the responses you got as blasting. I also didn't see where anyone asked you to itemize each of your bills - you are right that is your business. But when you get on a public forum and tell people that you can't afford to feed your children, I don't think it's unrealistic to expect some people to question some expenses that many people would prioritize below feeding their children. Do people know the whole situation? Of course not.

I'm sure you are doing your best. I will mention again that it might be worth wandering over to the Money Matters board. There are a very supportive and resourceful group of women over there who may have some ideas for you.

GL!

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

cma1989:
I'm sorry if you took what I said as "blasting" you. You don't have to explain yourself to me, I was simply responding to what you wrote in your OP. I said that I know my DH pays over $100 for his, and that if we were in trouble that would be one of the first things to go. GL to you and your family.

Its okay. Thank you:-)

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

blublusher:
I posted in your original post but didnt get a response. I still have the two sample cans of similac if you want it! PM me if you do.

Sorry, I must have missed your post. I will PM you later today. Thank you!

Firemn'sFlame · May 2010

littlemaybaby:
I really wouldn't consider the responses you got as blasting. I also didn't see where anyone asked you to itemize each of your bills - you are right that is your business. But when you get on a public forum and tell people that you can't afford to feed your children, I don't think it's unrealistic to expect some people to question some expenses that many people would prioritize below feeding their children. Do people know the whole situation? Of course not.
I'm sure you are doing your best. I will mention again that it might be worth wandering over to the Money Matters board. There are a very supportive and resourceful group of women over there who may have some ideas for you.
GL!

I will go check out that board. Thank you. Any tips on saving will help. A few months ago I went over our account and realized how much were spending on food each month. Wow! I was shocked. We don't go to fast food restaurants, or any restaurants for that matter. Those little expenses add up for sure.

Mrs_LeBlanc · May 2010

redhotchili83:

I am not one to get into someones business and I trust taht if you say what you're doing is the best you can, then it is!

On the topic of your 3 year old, I grew up with a single mom and despite my mom's best effort, I was aware of our very dire financial situation. I overheard my mom once on the phone with my grandfather crying that she had to ask him for money for the mortgage. But you know what? Although I wouldnt wish anyone to grow up worrying about money, I appreciate things so much more than my friends who had everything handed to them. So know that although things REALLY suck for you right now, your kids will grow up knowing whats important and won't need material crap to make them happy!

ITA with this. I grew up in a home with very little money. My mom worked while my dad did nothing, but spend the money we did have on drugs. But my mom did her best to make sure that even though my brother and I didn't get everything we wanted, when we did get something, we appreciated it so much more. And we are both still like that.

GL to you, and just remember, it won't be like this forever.

PinkMnM26 · May 2010

I missed your post. I hope things get better for you. There are many ways to save money, yard sailing for toys is one of the best ways. You can save so much money and a toddler has no idea it isn't new.

Here are some other ideas: cook at home, cut cable, budget in writing, don't go shopping for recreation (go to the park, library, collect bugs---boys love this). Join freecycle, people often give away formula, or you can ask for things you need. Don't be too proud to ask for assistance, it is intended for families like yours going through times like these.

Someone suggested using flannel wipes----you can try just using them for wet diapers and use 'real wipes' for dirty diapers. It should save some $ those things are pricey.

Good luck to you and your family.

Lizard2022 · May 2010

You could get a job too...

You don't have to pay for daycare if you get a job that corresponds to DH's schedule. I'm sure you have a 24 Walmart or some other store in your area that will allow you to work whenever. DH and I both work and we don't have any childcare. I found a job that I can work around his schedule. It sucks and we barely get to see each other but our bills are paid.

goldenleaves · May 2010

I'm sorry people were rude!

Especially since you don't have a landline you need a cell phone. iPhones really aren't that expensive now.

mrs_sherod · May 2010

You def don't have to explain yourself to anyone! My heart goes out to you. My DH (dumb husband) got laid off twice...the first time was his f'n fault...pmo! Anyway, I know where you are. My health insurance only pays 80%, so I have about $1300 in hospital bills to pay with DH not working AND having his unemployment denied, we don't have it.

Thankfully my parents help out when I asks and FIL is great as well. I BF, so we don't need to buy formula. I sent you a pm because I could def send formula to you. Just think...this too shall pass!

blueyez09 · May 2010

We've talked before and I am in your area, depending what kind of Similac you need I have a couple cans that you are more than welcome too. I was about to give it to the womens shelter in leonardtown but if you want/need them they are all yours. Just let me know!

I have cans of Alimentum, Isomil, and Similac Advance. PM me and we will find a way to get it to you ASAP.

you and your family are in my prayers! hang in there, this too shall pass!

umsldispatcher · May 2010

I completely feel for you! It is so hard to have hopes and dreams of what your life will be nad then have it "crash down" around you. We are paying for a wedding saving up for a house and have 2 kids. I was out of work for about 5 or 6 months while i was pregnant, I have since gotten a job and im working my butt off, my fiance is working sundays for overtime to help with some of the bills. I cant wait to be done with the wedding in 2 weeks so we will have a little lifted off of us. best of luck i know you are doing your best to provide for your family and it will get better!

KRIS05 · May 2010

I am really not judging but I second getting a part time job. You can work on weekends or when your husband is off. It may not be ideal but a couple hundred extra bucks may really help. Not to mention that if you get a job at a walmart, target, or grocery store, the discount you may recieve could help a lot! It is worth a shot in my opinion.

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Just checked my last post about being broke...

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