XP: Interesting news from my MIL
I posted this in First Tri but thought I'd get the December Mommas' POV too!
A couple of night ago, I found out that my DH's side of the family doesn't do baby showers. And by not doing them, I mean I shouldn't even be inviting them to my shower. Apparently they think it's rude to have them come to a shower and give a gift when they plan on coming to our house after the baby is born and will bring a gift. I'm kind of bummed out because I was looking forward to having both of our families together again (since the last time was our wedding). I'm also a little stressed about having a smaller shower now and not getting a whole lot of what I need before the baby arrives.
Anyone else going to have a shower with only one side of the family? Will you still invite your MIL and sisters-in-law (if you have them)?
Re: XP: Interesting news from my MIL
I won't be having any showers.
No one in my family has ever had a baby shower. We just don't do them.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1cb8c4.aspx[/img][/url]
I'm sorry to hear about your IL debacle - it's never easy to deal with.
We haven't even told our parents yet that we're expecting. I haven't even thought of my shower too much yet. My dad lost his job over a year ago and is back in school. He'll be graduating around the time I should be having a shower. Although my parents would have no problem throwing me a shower, I've been trying to think of alternative shower plans so my parents don't have to foot a large bill.
Sooooo....I was thinking of doing one at my house, but it'll have to be a come and go as you please. Although I love my home, it's not conducive to entertaining so if I end up having one at my house, it'll be an eat and mingle and see the baby's room type of deal. I'm not totally sure yet - it's so far away.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad's job troubles... But the "eat and mingle" is a good idea. If it's more of an open house, I'm sure people would enjoy themselves more than if it was at a stuffy hall! Your' guests can come when it's best for them too! Good thinking!
Thanks! Most people have yet to see our home, so this will be a great excuse!
I didn't really think of it yet, but I probably won't have a shower with my IL's side of the family. I say this bc they are all 4+ hours away so if I have one here in NY it wouldn't make sense to invite them all. Probably just MIL, GMIL, and one special aunt of DH's will be invited to my family shower and that's it.
For my wedding, MIL had a second shower for me near her house but she is going through a tough financial time right now so I really wouldn't want or expect her to host a baby shower.
As far as getting everything you need, I wouldn't worry. So much of the stuff people register for is not really necessary anyway. And I've noticed at showers lots of guests don't even buy off the registry, so even if you have a big shower you might just end up with a bunch of clothes, books, etc anyway.
Sorry about your IL troubles! Do they care that you might think it's rude for them to not want to come? It's not their party and a shame that they can't put their thoughts aside to celebrate your baby!
Our families like to throw big parties so I'm guessing we'll have a decent sized shower. My cousin had a keg at her shower, LOL. Our families will probably both get together to celebrate. We're lucky in that a majority of our family lives close by. Everyone was able to get together last year for our wedding shower and reception party, I don't see why they wouldn't for a shower. I can't wait to register!
Well Heaven forbid that baby gets more presents than it deserves? Lol! I think that it's ridiculous to be "against" a party celebrating the birth of a child into the family.
However I do separate groups. I had a shower for friends and fun family and a shower for the more uptight people. I doubt our families will mingle at the shower this time if we do a joint one.. I don't think that's too big a deal, just invite lots of friends.
Since this is more about getting the families together and less about presents, how about inviting people to a type of "eat and greet and play" get together, specifically asking for no gifts? That might help gain your goal...
How soon are they planning on showing up at your house after the baby is born? Because I've been told it's not the best idea to have a bunch of people around the baby (especially in December-cold/flu season). I would be sure to make some "rules" about when and how many can come see the baby - and if they don't like it, tough.
If I have a shower, it will be in the area where my family and DH's parents live. All the rest of his family live 4 or more hours away, and wouldn't expect to be invited. If they send presents after LO is born that's great, but I'm not expecting it. They won't be coming to see the baby either.