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May I vent?

jkmcnamarajkmcnamara
in Infertility

I've had two days of things being great, and finally feeling better.


Then tonight hits. 

I work at a grocery store and I hate it soooo much. I'd rather have hot wax poured on my eyeballs and my skin taken off with a vegetable peeler than work there.

It's THAT bad.

And between working these two jobs, I never have a day off. EVER. DH works from home, but nothing is paying. He has people who owe him money, but who knows when they'll pay. 

I told him if he doesn't get this job with Yahoo, then I don't care WHERE he works, but he needs to find a steady job. 

But he doesn't want to.

I had a crappy day at work and I'm beyond frustrated because I'll go back tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day.

And to top it off, our dish was shut off because we didn't have the money to pay it. What does DH do? He puts it on the emergency CC. Um. No. Granted, the tv is my friend, because I'm by myself so much, but it's not worth putting it on the credit card.

Part of me wants to leave him. But I have nothing. No car in my name, no money, no place to go....

I wish I could go back in time and tell my stupid 19 year old self to take time to be single, go to school....etc.

And tonight, for the first time in 4 years, I regretted moving here. 

F.M.L. 

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Re: May I vent?

  • psychgalbridepsychgalbride member
    Going out on a climb here but what field is your DH in?  I have a friend that is a software specialist recruiter.  Message me on FB.  
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  • JakesBride07JakesBride07

    Wow... ((hugs))...I am sooo sorry you are going through all of this. Let me just say I have walked in your shoes and at times have had the same thoughts cross my mind.

    I hope things turn around soon, and good luck to your DH on the yahoo job (or having the whatever to find another, if need be).

    TTC #1 since 4/2007... MFI (low motility/low Testosterone) & PCOS IVF #1 August 2010...BFP 1st sono shows TWINS!!!! Due May 23rd 2011 Ruptured @ 21 weeks (Jan 13) Delivered 26 weekers (Blake and Addison) on Valentine's Day... Keeping faith and praying, God has a plan and we just have to learn to follow. Our Blog ... ourvalentinesdaysurprise.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • jlcrane78jlcrane78 member
    I know that things are tough in Michigan right now.  We moved from there almost a year ago, so I feel your pain with the job.  I don't have any advice, just lots of hugs and positive thoughts.  I hope that people start paying your husband or that he finds a steady job, and I hope that you find something where you are happier.
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  • QuiltingBeeQuiltingBee
    I'm sorry you're going through all this.  I hope your days become brighter soon, honey.  I hope that things look up for you both job-wise, as well.
    image 30 y/o with PCOS HSG normal, SA essentially normal (slightly low morph but good # and motility) 50 mg Clomid...zip; 100 mg Clomid...nada; 150 mg Clomid...zilch 1/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F, Ovidrel, and TI.....Beta 2/22...BFN 2/10 Injectable cycle with Gonal-F and Follistim (long story), Ovidrel..BFN 4/10 Injectable cycle (see above). BFP but early m/c 5w5d. 5/10 Break cycle due to BFC (Big Fat Cyst)...darn it all 6/10 Injectable cycle +IUI...BFN 7/10 Injectable cycle + IUI.....BFP!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • scooterqscooterq member
    Oh, I am so sorry!  I hope your H finds a steady job...like yesterday.  GL!!
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  • yodasmistressyodasmistress member
    My husband was unemployed for three and a half years.  Over that time I built up a LOT of resentment about my role having to support him.  At first it was ok because he was sick.  But once he got well and wouldn't really look for a job, I started to get peeved.  Back in 2008, I almost did leave him.  I wrote about it a lot on my blog, starting in July of that year.  I'm not sure if it would help you or not but you can read about it here if you would like. 
     
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  • jkmcnamarajkmcnamara
    Thanks, yoda! I hate that I have this resentment! And it's putting a strain on our marriage. I love him, but I'm just so frustrated with our situation. GAH!!
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