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Husbands

Izabella22Izabella22 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Did anyone else feel like they need to send the "what to say, what not to say" to their husband? I feel like I need to. If he tells me one more time that I'll have another baby or its nature or its common I think I might scream. I mean I can avoid my 'friend' who told me I could "prepare better next time" but I can't really avoid my husband unless I leave. Which I really just want to curl up at home so that wouldn't help much anyways. :(
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Re: Husbands

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    magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Mine said something stupid to me the other day and I just cried and said I don't need to hear that from you. I hear it from everyone else and that's bad enough. Just sit here, hold me and let me cry. 
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    leneae10leneae10 member
    Mine has said some stupid things too.  I think until they've PHYSICALLY been where we are, they can't possibly understand how those words sting.  I feel you... I speak my mind and just tell him that it was stupid and he usually feels bad.  I think they are just as lost as we are sometimes.  You're both under a lot of stress..
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    Izabella22Izabella22 member
    Yeah they just don't get it, I told him yesterday I felt like it didn't mean anything to him with the way he's so blase about it all and he said no, it broke his heart but he doesn't know how to fix it so what can he really do? Which made me feel better until he invited this woman and her family over tonight so her dad can see the horses, she's some distant cousin, I dunno. But on top of me just not feeling sociable, she has the same name as i do, she's 2 days older than me (we get mixed up at the doctors office ALL the time) and she just had twins a year or two ago and so I'm freaking out. Do I really want to be around a woman who has my name is 2 days apart from me in age and has two happy healthy babies? No. No I REALLY don't. And it might be irrational and silly but whatever. I'm irrational and silly and selfish, don't care. There is no way that situation is not going to make me freak out. And he jsut doesn't get it. Add to that I told him he needs to call and reschedule and he's like "Well... ugh" Don't care. Think before you invite next time. Or how about just don't. I want to be around either close friends who get it (got 1), people who have no kids and just want to get drunk, or no one at all. that's about it for my handling people being sociable right now. Maybe next week I'll move forward, but as is, I don't even want to be around my family and I'm barely scraping by at work.
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    SmallestWilkSmallestWilk

    imageIzabella22:
    Did anyone else feel like they need to send the "what to say, what not to say" to their husband? . :(
     

    I did!! Yes--I actually sent it to DH.

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    MrsZizMrsZiz member

    imageleneae10:
    Mine has said some stupid things too.  I think until they've PHYSICALLY been where we are, they can't possibly understand how those words sting.  I feel you... I speak my mind and just tell him that it was stupid and he usually feels bad.  I think they are just as lost as we are sometimes.  You're both under a lot of stress..

    Mostly this, they can't understand it completely because YOU were the one carrying the baby, you had a different bond...  I SO wish DH could understand but there's no possible way. I do agree that he feels hurt and lost. He has no idea what to say. Even yesterday he said "I wish I could just make it go away so you would feel better, I hate to see you so sad and crying". I explained that sometimes not saying anything and just holding me while I cry is the best thing he can do... It's got to be hard for them too.. 

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