WWYD? House Guests
Arielle27
member
I am due November 3.
Two of our good friends are coming in from out of town to stay with us for about two weeks from Sept 24-Oct 10. It was arranged since before we got pregnant, and they are good friends who know how to give us space.
Now DH's friend wants to stay with us for 7-10 days in early September. This friend is not a guy who knows how to give a person space. He also seems rather bitter about our pregnancy (he is 37 and unattached, let alone married).
I told DH that I don't think it's a good idea and that we should consider telling him that it isn't a good time for him to come. DH seemed annoyed.
Am I being unreasonable?
EDIT:
OK thanks for your opinions.
To add - this house guest is messy, expects to be entertained at all times, has been very rude to us in the past (in fact, DH stopped talking to him for nearly a year when we first got together because this friend made a rude comment about our relationship).
In addition, he comes to visit twice a year - and stays with us every time. So he will be coming to visit after the baby is born as well.
All that said, I would not consider telling him no, except that we will then have the other two friends coming to stay with us for two weeks just after he leaves.
Re: WWYD? House Guests
You're being a bit unreasonable. Is it because you're pregnant? I know being pregnant is a huge, life altering thing for you guys, but you will only be 7 months and you have to remember that not everyone sees your pregnancy as you do.
That being said, 7-10 days is really long. I would see if you could shorten it up a bit. I would be exhausted after that long of hostin someone too. GL
7-10 days seems like A LOT to me! it is good that you won't be too close to your due date though. if you do agree to let him stay i would really lay down the guidelines to DH that he needs to really entertain him and keep him away from you if you're feeling stressed, etc.
we had a friend visit us for just one night when i was 3 days overdue. i thought for sure i'd go into labor having him come. lol. this guy is a friend, but he's seriously a lot to handle. after about 6 hours you want a break (he talks and talks and talks.....and is loud and i could go on and on about the topics). my DH definitely kept him occupied and it all worked out fine.
the difference w/your 2 friends coming is that there are TWO of them. i.e. they can hang out w/each other when neither of you are available.
GL!
OK thanks for your opinions.
To add - this house guest is messy, expects to be entertained at all times, has been very rude to us in the past (in fact, DH stopped talking to him for nearly a year when we first got together because this friend made a rude comment about our relationship).
In addition, he comes to visit twice a year - and stays with us every time. So he will be coming to visit after the baby is born as well.
All that said, I would not consider telling him no, except that we will then have the other two friends coming to stay with us for two weeks just after he leaves.
i'd talk to DH. personally, i am not big on house guests: having them or being them. i like my space, and on vacation, i prefer to stay in a hotel and visit friends vs. stay with them. it was different when i was single and staying with my best friend who was living out of state, because there was no other person being inconvenienced; even then, I stayed a weekend at a time or she stayed a weekend at a time with me, not longer than that.
i personally would let DH know that you aren't comfortable with having that person stay with you that long, that you already have guests coming (long ago arranged) so that it's already a lot to deal with, but that was already set up. hopefully DH understands your POV. i don't think either partner should be able to have people spend the night (one night or 7 nights) without the other person not just saying "ok" but being comfortable with it.
when we first got married, after moving in together, we had a housewarming party. some of DH's friends got drunk and then decided to crash instead of go home. I was upset by it because we threw a daytime party, these guys (who are younger than DH and I am older than DH) don't have a lot of social skills, and so they didn't think ahead to go, maybe I shouldn't drink if I have to drive, and maybe I shouldn't just assume that it is ok to crash at this married couple's place. The kicker was, DH fell asleep on the couch after he let the guys put in a movie, i was still sitting there all dressed up from the party, wanting these guys to go home so I could change and go to bed, and DH wasn't coherent enough to do anything about it, so I woke DH up, and he told the guys he was going to bed and that they could crash there. I had a serious discussion with DH the next day because I was upset he'd give them the ok to crash at our place without my say so in advance. We lived in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment at the time, and so there was no privacy. I shut the door to the bedroom, but there was no door between the living room (where the boys were) and the bathroom. I couldn't sleep because I was uncomfortable with them in the house. DH apologized that he hadn't even considered whether it would bother me, and now knows he can't have people over without checking with me first--day or night--as it's common courtesy. I usually hang out with my friends out/in public, or at parties, and don't bring them back to our place without checking with DH, and so now he has learned to extend the same courtesy to me.