Mother's of toddlers and anyone with good advice! :)
So Avah is 2 1/2 now and the past week or two she has been a terror.
Anytime I tell her no she continually repeats the question over and over and then starts to cry and get upset over nothing. Last night for example she was playing in the tub and was starting to get frustrated and mad at her toys even after I helped her she was still upset so I told her that we needed to put the toys up and get out of the tub since she was so upset. She started to cry and scream "I want to stay in the bath." Repeatedly until she was so upset she was about to be sick. I have not idea how to deal with this or what I can say to make it better.
Have any of you ladies ever dealt with this. She is also starting to get a temper so I've tried to tell her when she's mad to calm down and count or sing a song. Any tips on this?
Re: Mother's of toddlers and anyone with good advice! :)
My daughter sometimes will do this if she is extremely tired. You need to stay very consistent with what you do. This means no means no, no matter how many times you're asked. What works for my daughter may not work for yours, but I've found DD usually just needs some time to calm down. When she starts with her tantrum I pick her up, without getting angry, and tell her 'Lexii needs to go to her room until she is done crying, and then she can come back downstairs and play with mommy.' She will usually sit in her room for two minutes or less, and walk back downstairs with a smile on her face. Of course, this wouldn't be appropriate if she was crying from being hurt, or if something was really wrong, but those 'terrible-two tantrums' need to be addressed. :]
ETA: I usually wait until DD has calmed down by herself, and then sit her down to explain why she was asked to go to her room.
My son is beginning to his this age too. So far, we've been telling him no three times and after the third time, we say "Mommy said no because...." or "Mommy said no, you can do x or x instead. Which would you like to do?" I try to loosely follow the Love & Logic and give him 2 choices. If he doesn't choose, I tell him that Mommy will choose for him and then we just stick to whatever I (or he, in the best circumstances) chose.
It's a frustrating age because you can't reason with them and they just get so upset it's hard to even get them to hear you. I guess the biggest thing is to redirect when you see her starting to get mad (if you can, sometimes it's just not a good moment for you to redirect). If my son gets too upset, I take him to his room and give him a book and tell him that he needs to calm down and when he's ready to play nicely, he can come out. Sometimes he screams for 10 minutes but usually, he calms down within a minute and will "read" his book quietly for a few minutes. Good luck!
Ahhh the twos.
I think when kids hit two they start to learn that they will not always get what they want, that the world does not revolve around them... and that sometimes mommy is going to say no. At this stage they start trying to "work you" and yes, kids do that. They try a tactic and see if it will get them the result they want.
Just be consistent and she will start to learn what the routine is, what she can and cannot do/have... etc. When parents give in one minute then say no the next they will see more and more tantrums from their child. Can you imagine how confusing it would be if people constantly changed the rules on you (oh wait... we are military families we KNOW how confusing/frustratig that is).
Make a routine, stick with it... and be careful about giving in. Now is also a good time to introduce a naughty/time out chair. When K starts in I just put her in the spot and let her work through her emotions - sometimes that is all you can do.
Good Luck.
Have you read or watched The Happiest Toddler on the Block? What I got from it was mimicking their emotions and helping them put into words what they are feeling. I highly recommend the book or DVD. It worked wonders for both of my boys!
I'll have to look for it I had heard of the Happiest Baby on the Block but didn't know there was a toddler version.
Thanks