I know I'm sleep deprived heading into the home stretch of this semester.
I know I'll feel better later.
But right now I'm just sad and need to get it out.
Jace barely fits in my lap for bedtime cuddles in the rocking chair. I'm sure when we transition him to a big boy bed the rocking chair of songs and snuggles will come to an end.
He's my last. And not by choice. And it's crushing me right now that I should be either tending to a 1 month old or half way thru another pregnancy but I'm not. Our baby days are over and out toddler days are nearing an end too. It's all gone by way too fast.
Then I went to Dylan's room for some snuggles and he started telling me that his BFF has to give up her blankie at her 4th birthday. I asked if he wanted to give up puppy (lovie) and he said Yep!
Then he handed me puppy and said "let's start tonight". I asked if he wanted puppy to sleep with me tonite and he replied a simple "yes!"
I snuggled on puppy for a minute and then got up to go (calling his bluff and praying he didn't see the tears streaming silently down my face). He wanted puppy back.
And I got to keep him as my little boy for at least a bit longer.
That puppy blankie used to be longer than him. There's never been a day in his life (since coming home from the hospital) that puppy didn't spend at least a little bit of time cuddled next to his warm body either nursing or sleeping.
The logical part of me wants them to grow up and develop into amazing individuals.
The selfish part of me wants them to stay small and need Mamma snuggles and lovies for ever.