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Question for the SAHM

MCC1010MCC1010 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Do you get crap from your friends and family for staying at home with your child? I am finding that people make comments about it all the time - like they feel sorry for me. It is starting to tick me off.
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Re: Question for the SAHM

  • murfygirlmurfygirl member
    Sometimes I get crap from DH. Never my family since they are like stuck in the 1950s.
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  • hoshicathoshicat member
    I wish I was a SAHM. As soon as I'm healed and able I have to go back to work.. which isn't bad... just would rather stay at home. ;) Screw what others say. Enjoy it! You'll never have this time with your LO ever again, so why shouldn't you be able to enjoy it like you are?
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  • tsharpe2tsharpe2
    I'm jealous! I wish I was a SAHM. I'm going back to work 2.5 days a week and I'm so sad about it!
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  • IrishBrideNDIrishBrideND member

    I get comments about both sides of it. I'm in grad school right now, so I get comments about how on earth could I leave the baby at home (apparently leaving her with DH is horrible). But I will stay at home next year....and I get comments about that.

     

    The mommy wars are ridiculous on both sides.

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  • MrsRebeccaMrsRebecca member

    Nope.

    Then again both DH and I were raised by SAHMs and my sister is a SAHM.

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  • kdiaisflykdiaisfly
    No, not at all. I'm considered lucky to be able to stay home with my baby, I consider it lucky too!
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  • MCC1010MCC1010 member
    I think I am very lucky to be able to stay at home too. My husband has a great job and we are able to do this with no changes to our lifestyle. Yet somehow I am a "disgrace to independent women" (my cousin's wording).
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  • MrsRebeccaMrsRebecca member

    imageMCC1010:
    I think I am very lucky to be able to stay at home too. My husband has a great job and we are able to do this with no changes to our lifestyle. Yet somehow I am a "disgrace to independent women" (my cousin's wording).

    Just let it roll of your shoulders. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. 

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  • MCC1010MCC1010 member
    imageMrsRebecca:

    imageMCC1010:
    I think I am very lucky to be able to stay at home too. My husband has a great job and we are able to do this with no changes to our lifestyle. Yet somehow I am a "disgrace to independent women" (my cousin's wording).

    Just let it roll of your shoulders. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. 

    I guess I don't get why my staying at home upsets them so much.

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  • BFab11BFab11 member

    I get side-eyes, and I don't even have an outside baby to stay at home with!  I just finished my degree (last week were my finals), and was required before getting graduation clearance to go to career counseling.  I told the career lady that I wasn't going to look for a job, and she looked at me (with my gigantic belly) and said, "well, what do you plan to do after graduation?" I stared at her for a sec and said, "uh... have a baby."

    She got a bit flustered and changed the subject and started talking to other students at that point.  I was raised by a SAHM, and I've always thought growing up that personally (not saying anything against WMs) I couldn't have children and a career.  If I was going to have kids, I'd be at home raising them.  Thankfully DH has a good job and we have the ability for me to SAH; I feel so blessed to be able to be at home with my children. 

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  • Shell24Shell24 member
    My mom loves it, although she'd be supportive of anything I wanted. I had a guy last weekend ask NMR incredulously what I do to pass the time all day. Riiight dude. My DH was super annoyed for me. :). Some people just don't get it, and instead of respecting another person and their choices they feel the need to be rude.
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  • D.SmithD.Smith member
    imagekdiaisfly:
    No, not at all. I'm considered lucky to be able to stay home with my baby, I consider it lucky too!
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  • IrishBrideNDIrishBrideND member
    imageMCC1010:
    imageMrsRebecca:

    imageMCC1010:
    I think I am very lucky to be able to stay at home too. My husband has a great job and we are able to do this with no changes to our lifestyle. Yet somehow I am a "disgrace to independent women" (my cousin's wording).

    Just let it roll of your shoulders. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. 

    I guess I don't get why my staying at home upsets them so much.

    Its just like any thing else mommy related....why do people care about moms who work? Or if someone FF?

    People just like to judge. Its as simple as that.

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  • Big JBig J member
    I've gotten a lot of comments abouthow nice it must be - laying around the house, shopping, etc. I'm lucky I get ashower everyday!
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  • Luv-a-BugLuv-a-Bug
    imageBig J:
    I've gotten a lot of comments abouthow nice it must be - laying around the house, shopping, etc. I'm lucky I get ashower everyday!
    LOL!!! Laying around the house and shopping... That's a good one!
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  • spring_timespring_time member
    Let it roll off your shoulders.  My friend explained the mommy wars to me in a way that really made sense.  Most people consider raising their child the most important thing they could do.  When we make choices that are different from their own choices, it is a defense mechanism to criticize that decision.  They view your choices as a challenge to their own.  They think if you are "right", they must be "wrong".  I think everyone has that little bit of doubt as to whether their decisions are right for them, there is always a "what if".  Your choices play into that little inkling of doubt and that is what automatically raises the defenses.

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  • dupedupe member
    Not from my side, they wish they could stay home with there kids.  His side is horrible with it.  I asked him to change the kids diapers (right after my c/s) they told me you're home all day, you go change their diapers.  On dh's off days he pretty much takes cares of diapers.
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  • trapani2betrapani2be member

    imageMCC1010:
    Ia "disgrace to independent women" (my cousin's wording).

    That's terrible! I would kill to stay home with my kids, at least until school age.  It's sad that it is so black and white for some people.

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