O Brother
Phantomgirl
member
Yea I'm talking about my brother and his big mouth. He is tiling my house and yesterday I was asking him about missing tiles in the en suite. He was mad because he cut the tiles and my FIs father 'cleaned' the room and threw them into the skip. So now we are short tiles for that bathroom. Anyhow to lighten the mood I said to him 'well it's not that bad, it looks fine to me (joking)' and he replied 'well can you tell Fi that you OK'd it like that then'. SS, not wanting our bathroom to look a mess piped up 'no you can't leave it like that, you have to finish it'. My brother lovingly replied ' well you don't get a say because it's not your house'. 
. So I give my bother the death look and of coarse he asks out loud... WHAT?
About half an hour later Fi and I are discussing paint colors and I ask SS... so what do you think? He replies in a wounded manner? I don't know, you pick it's your house.
I can not tell you how hard I have work to make him feel a part of this 
Re: O Brother
I have to say you may be over sensitive here (unless your Brother has made other disparaging comments about SS).
The sentiment is not all that out there. The house ISN'T his or ANY of the children's really. Yes, it is great to get their opinion, but in the end they are not the ones with the responsibility.
And to be honest, your SS rudely interuppted a very adult conversation. Did you reprimade him for his breach? Which is probably why (even though it SHOULD have been handled better) your Brother replied as he did.
And again, my response is coming from my own personal experiences. My SS will interrupt any adult conversation he comes into contact with - no matter what the conversation is. Even if he KNOWS that the conversation is an off limits one (ie a work conversation between DH and his Bosses) he will still chime in.
He has annoyed every one of our acquaintences, friends and family.
And they, in turn become very short tempered with him when he does.
Now again, I am not saying that your SS is like mine (I know that he is not). But this could explain why your brother replied the way that he did.
Oh that stinks! What a crappy moment. I'm sure you guys will get him back on board with the new family house.
ss is a child, he deserves respect too. he may have interrupted, but your brother was rude and childish. the house is ss's house too. and i can see how is feelings would have been hurt.
OK in my brothers defense BM lives beside him and he didn't say it to be mean he probably just classifies BMs house as SS house KWIM? But SS was very hurt by the comment, if you say his little face go red.
Also me and SS were checking out the progress of the house when we noticed the tiles missing and I called my brother to ask about it so he didn't really just interrupt our conversation. Although I do get what you guys are saying about that, it drives me nuts and SS can be guilty of.
I don't know I just can't imagine telling my 8 year old SS that it is not his home because he doesn't pay the mortgage
THIS.
The attitude that a child doesn't have ownership of his own house would lead to very damaging repercussions. If it's NOT the child's house, what does he care if it's dirty or he breaks something? It's not a set up for a successful parent/child relationship which is based on trust and it would be contrary to instilling habits of good stewardship in a child.
Ha my mother said that to us all the time.
I guess it is a slippery slope for a SM to say it to a SC KWIM? Also I want him to feel a part of our family and like it is his home, it's not so much about ownership of the house.
That was a not very nice thing of your brother to say. I would have corrected him right there and said 'umm... yes, this is his house, and he does get a say.'
Butttt... I'm also not a person to keep my mouth shut in situations like that. I don't know how much sas you throw around in your family.
Did you ever discuss with him that it is his house after the incident if you didn't around your brother?
ETA: I have to say that this opinion is based off of MY own experiences with building a house. When we were in the process of building our house last year, SS was only 3, but we made him feel very included. When we would go see the progress weekly, we always would say 'ok lets go see R's house!' and he would get SO excited. Had anyone ever made a comment like what your brother had said to my SS (regardless of his age, 3, 8, 12, whatever) I would have said what I did above.
I don't get the feeling from your posts that your SS is rude, or interrupts conversations on a regular basis (total assumption on my part) so him piping up was probabaly a split second reaction thinking he was sticking up for you guys, and then he got shot down, and no one stuck up for him. That's just my take on it. I personally would be pissed at my brother, not your SS, and I'd be making sure that he knows that this is his home, this is a place he has some say in. Kids need security. JMO
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