moms of two - need some help please

mcunningham · April 2010

tyler has been amazing with paige - always wants to hug/kiss/hold her. we are so thankful there hasnt been any jealous behavior. however, his behavior in general is driving me up the wall. i feel like i am putting him in timeouts from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed and i feel horrible. he is being just defiant, wont listen, etc. how can i go about making my home more peaceful without constant timeouts? what am i doing wrong? it is so stressful to start out each morning with timeouts - and i am ready to lose my mind.

did any of you go through this? any recs on how to get through this phase? thanks so much - i appreciate it!

Celyn · April 2010

Jane Nelsen (who I met last night!) has some great books on Positive Parenting, that have lots of alternatives to time outs. Setting aside daily time to have one-on-one time with the first child helps a lot. At this age, they don't understand the difference between negative and positive attention, so all attention is good. Acting out is usually just a plea for a connection.

2bearichards · April 2010

I could have written this post myself a few weeks after I had Riley. It is a phase and it will end, but I agree with Teri, try spending more one on one time with Tyler, he is trying to get your attention, be it bad or good.

jbrooke81 · April 2010

I don't have a lot of advice. However, just wanted to mention that a similar thing happened with us. Chase was GREAT with Parker. However, his behavior with us was terrible. It was a stage and he improved after an adjustment period.

It should get better! Hang in there

Lexi & Orion's Mommy · April 2010

does he understand the differnce in his behavior? I used to tell lexi when she woke up, that we were going to have a good day. I needed her to be a super good girl for me. some days it worked. some days it didnt. but it was worth a shot.

spicy-mustard · April 2010

My key was to keep O busy. And tell him our plans. "We're going to have breakfast, get dressed and go on our walk." I have him literally walk, 20-30 minutes...to expend energy. And then the next things "we're going home, play legos and have lunch".

Also consistency, I'd pick one thing and stick to it. For example, screaming for screaming's sake drives me NUTS. So I say, "if you scream, you need to play in your room alone for 5 minutes" and did it every single time.

It's a pretty short phase, hang in there!

tri-reader · April 2010

Ditto PP, it was a phase we went through too. It was one of the reasons I signed her up for preschool sooner than later. Half the time home she was on timeouts. I believe it was just her way of adjusting to sharing our attention. It phased out after a few months. Hang in there!

mcunningham · April 2010

thank you ladies - it is so nice to hear that so many of you experienced this as well. gives me hope that things will get better! thank you for sharing your experience!

mnmsmom · April 2010

I think we have all experienced this phase with two! After reading some books and taking early childhood education classes, I incorporated more 'positive feedback' throughout the day for DD#1. I would ask for her help more (i.e.-get something for me, help unload dishwasher, wipe table, etc.) and praise, praise, praise when she would help! She still loves to be my little helper.

I also agree with a PP who said keep them busy! We have a pretty structured routine every day/week and do parks, outside time, coloring, play-doh, books, puzzles and even, of course, Elmo ; )

HTH

moms of two - need some help please

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