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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
How will you discipline your LO?
I believe in spanking when the child is old enough to know they did a bad thing. ?Now I will NEVER take it to the extremes that my mother did but I can't stand how parents don't discipline they're misbehaving children. ?My brother and sister got a smack to the mouth every time they back talked. I'm not talking a beating to the mouth but enough to know that there is no tolerance for it and I will be doing that as well.
Where do you stand?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How will you discipline your LO?
Um, ok.
To answer your question, we will use redirection and time-outs/grounding when age appropriate. There will be no spanking/"tapping" on the mouth in our house.
To be honest, I'm not sure. I support spanking of older children in certain situations, but of course not abuse of it. I don't think grounding/time outs are always enough. My dad has his doctorate in early childhood education and my mom her master's, he's a counselor and she has taught kindergarten for 30 years and been teacher of the year for the state of Florida--we were spanked as kids. But it was never just random hitting, or hitting in the face, or anything like that. If we were bad then we were warned and if we continued to be bad we were spanked in a calm manner, not like we were beaten or anything. The worst part of the punishment was the embarassment, and it always worked. Grounding and time outs were pointless IMO and taught us nothing. I think at least a little fear of authority is a good thing.
I'm not sure what we will do with Allie, I know my DH was brought up the same way I was. Kids respond to punishment differently--some are embarassed by spanking and that works for them, others HATE to be alone in their room. I always thought room time was no big deal at all. Every kid is different. I guess we'll see when the time gets here!
no smacking on the mouth here either. imho i think it's inappropriate (to put it nicely).
one smack on the bottom (not spanking) a few times, maybe, in instances where his safety is threatened. example: keeps trying to touch a hot stove or run into the street.
otherwise patient redirection, removal of rewards, talking about it, time-outs, etc.
Us too
This is disgusting.
And I can't imagine a situation that would cause me to hit my child.
The only time I really think spanking is appropriate is if you have a constant hitter. My sister would hit, pull, bite, etc. all. the. time. My parents tried everything and finally my dad hit her back (obviously not beating her) and said, "I bet that didn't feel good, that's how it feels when YOU hit other people. Do you want people doing that to you?"
I think a punishment should match the crime. That's the only time I think that hitting your child is close to the "crime".
I'm don't think I'll be smacking or tapping Tegan on the mouth (I say this now, but I've seen how teenagers talk, lol!), but I do believe in a light spanking. My parents used to spank me (with their hand, on the leg or bottom) when there wasn't a true punishment to fit my crime.
For example, if I talked back or continued to do something when I was asked to stop, it normally resulted in a spanking. However, if I made a bad grade on a test or didn't do my homework, then my punishment would be no TV or no playing after school, until I either started completing my homework or made a better grade.
I plan on raising Tegan in a similar fashion. I will use time outs, redirection (on occasion, in my personal experience, this isn't always effective) and spankings depending on the type and level of misbehavior.
The problem with some of the children today (I'm a teacher) is that their parents are lazy and really just don't take the time to pay attention and speak to their children. The children have learned to act out in a negative way just to get attention and sadly even that doesn't work for them most of the time.
We will spank but will never do it out of anger. If I feel myself getting over the edge, I will not spank. We will explain to them why they got the spanking but that we love them. My husband and I are a team and we are the authority. I don't think you can reason with a young child. I was spanked when I was little and was not scarred for life. I was never abused and I always felt loved.
Just curious...at what age do you think it's okay to start smacking him in the mouth...oops, I mean "tapping."
we do spank as a last resort. she also gets a small hand to her mouth--more over the mouth versus a slap when she sticks her tongue out at us or spits in the house. you can not reason/talk it out with a 2 or 3 year old. one they don't understand what you are talking about, and two have you ever tried to reason with a toddler???
time outs work, taking toys away, they all work. really depends on the situation and if all else fails we do spank.
This is so refreshing to hear. Thank you!
I pretty much believe the exact same thing. I'll add that I also believe hitting a child teaches them that hitting is an acceptable thing to do.
I could have written this exactly. And I agree with another pp, it's more about the embarrassment than anything. I was never spanked hard enough that it hurt but the sheer fact that I was ashamed of getting a spanking made me not misbehave again. But I don't think I'll actually be able to spank DD(I can say that now while she dosen't talk back,lol).
i will add that my daughter doesn't hit, she wasn't a biter and she is at an age now where just the threat or the option of a spanking has her changing her mind. example "are you going to listen and stop when mommy asks you to stop or do you need a spanking to remind you to stop when mommy or daddy asks you to stop doing something?" she usually responds "i am listening"
i was spanked and didn't suffer from it. my husband and i revisit our discipline technique often--there are stages when a time out will not work because every 5 min in a time out is rediculous!
all of her hand to face things are done with--don't stick your tongue out at mommy or we don't spit in the house.
how do the non-spnkers feel about hot sauce/soap?? i've used neither, but just curious
Putting soap or hot sauce in a childs mouth for discipline?
What year is it? 1952??
Am I reading this entire post right? Smacking a child on the mouth is ok? really?
Maybe I have lost it. I am just shocked at this entire post.
I will not spank, but I guess if thats really what you feel you need to do it can be ok in some situations. I think that putting soap in a childs mouth as discipline is flat out abuse.
My parents did it when we knew what we were saying like 8.
I will teach my child that it's not ok to hit by not hitting him. I will speak to him like a person and explain how to act respectfully. When he was younger, redirection worked great.
I will also teach my children the correct way to use their, there, and they're.
I will not be slapping, tapping or smacking my kid on the mouth.
I will not be squirting hot sauce in my child's mouth.
I will not be shoving soap in her mouth either.
I will not be hitting her in any way.
Instead, and I have said this before, I will use my brain to think up and better way to punish. I think if you do any of the above, you are a lazy parent.
However, I will hold my child's hands together and get close to their face and give them a firm command. I will also use redirection, time out and taking toys away.
Oh wow. I was just kind of playing in my post but seriously, calling someone lazy for not thinking up other ways of disciplining their children is a little haughty. Some kids will respond to firm commands and redirection but I know for a fact that some won't. I am going out on a limb here, but I think most people would start with the lesser punishments and work their way up. Spanking should be the last resort but it shouldn't be deemed lazy. I am going to die the first time I spank her, but I know it's going to happen and it is going to be deserved. I'm just saying, I'm not a lazy person, I have an exceedingly active brain, and I will spank when needed.
I have two teenage sons; never hit either one of them. Both of them are very well behaved, polite, respectful young men and it's in good part because we have treated them with dignity their entire lives. Please don't strike your child.
And trust me, if I see you smacking a kid in the face anywhere out in public I'll call the police. It's abuse. I work in family courts; it's enough to lose custody over in a custody fight; it's enough to get pulled in by SRS/police; and it's enough because it's not viewed as appropriate discipline. You would have a stroke if someone else slapped your child in the face; and rightly so. Why would it be ok for you to do it?
I'm just appalled at some of the comments in here.
You all can't tell me that if you smarted off to your mom when you were like 10, that she didn't reach around and "smack" you in the mouth?
I distinctly remember sassing back to my mom in the car once and she pulled a reach around and popped me in the mouth. Not hard enough to make me cry, but it was enough to let me know that that kind of sassing won't fly.
I don't plan on using corporal punishment with DS until he's older. But like a PP said, you can't reason with a 2 year old and they will test your boundaries like no other. I see absolutely nothing wrong with a swat once in a while if the situation warrants it (I'm talking about spitting, hitting, biting...major offenses...not like a temper tantrum or anything).
None of us can say what we'd do because we're not there yet...even the 2nd timers...every kid is different...if time-outs etc worked for your 1st, it's not a given that they'll work for this one.