Anyone have a clueless DH?

robinsokj · April 2010

I don't know why these things are so difficult.

All DH can manage to do when a baby is crying is shoving a paci in the mouth. It usually doesn't work but he continues to do it time after time anyway. How about you check a diaper or look to see if they're hungry.

He also seems to think that since hes back at work I should be the only one getting up at night. Well, I don't really find it fair that I should be the only one without any sleep.

lovinfall · April 2010

Yeah my husband thinks a pacifier solves all.

chazzgirl · April 2010

aren't all DH's clueless?

mine thinks gripe water is a cure all for crying.

BelhurstBride · April 2010

Mine will let DD cry herself into hysteria before picking her up to see what's wrong. Last night I asked him if he heard her, but I think he thought I was being nasty. I seriously wonder if he even hears her fuss!

lenaerickson · April 2010

DH was clueless until he watched how I did things when i was at home. He is a pro now. I didn't really have to ask him to do anything, he would rush over with the pacifier, bottle and her lovie (blanket) every time she started crying. He wanted to make sure that he tried everything to solve the problem. Maybe it was because i yelled at him for working too much....

acaudill042106 · April 2010

I will let dh sleep as much as he can when he's marked up to work. On his day off..I sleep. He usually complains..and is as loud as possible when getting up with Weston. But...I dont care...I sleep. He thinks that if he lets Weston cry loud enough..or long enough I will get up. But I know it doesnt take 10 minutes to make a bottle..that he's just being a jerk. He's been getting better lately....that..or he's just giving up.

Mrs.BoomBoom · April 2010

robinsokj:
He also seems to think that since hes back at work I should be the only one getting up at night. Well, I don't really find it fair that I should be the only one without any sleep.

You can nap when they nap during the day, he can't.

DMacG · April 2010

I just tell him what to do.. He normally is hands off unless i put the baby in his lap. And he only helps me at night on friday and saturday nights because I'm "on mat leave and don't have to work and can nap during the day."

robinsokj · April 2010

yankeebaby24:
Mrs.BoomBoom:
robinsokj:
He also seems to think that since hes back at work I should be the only one getting up at night. Well, I don't really find it fair that I should be the only one without any sleep.
You can nap when they nap during the day, he can't.
She has twins! I bet when one falls asleep the other wakes the sleepy one up crying.
OP, I tip my hat to you. I am exhausted with one so I can imagine how tired you are with two.
Did he take any time off?

Precisely. They fuss pretty much all day and they don't really fall asleep for the night until about 1am. Its awesome.

He took some time off, but was back at work before they came out of the NICU. He also works every other weekend so I'm pretty much it most of the time

FemmeNat01 · April 2010

Mrs.BoomBoom:
robinsokj:
He also seems to think that since hes back at work I should be the only one getting up at night. Well, I don't really find it fair that I should be the only one without any sleep.
You can nap when they nap during the day, he can't.

Not really with twins. If hers are like mine, they are not on the same schedule and as soon as I finish feeding, changing, putting back to bed one, the other wakes up.

He should get up at least once a night to help you. I don't know how I would do it if Nate didn't cover a shift.

AmandaToo · April 2010

that would be really hard! Can you get the Happiest Baby DVD for him? I find that some people, especially men, do really well with a list of techniques like that. It gives him a few things to try besides the pacifier!

I can't really explain why, and if it works for your situations, that's fine, but I think the "he can't nap at the office and you can nap when babies nap" is total crap. When my husband is home at night, unless there's a reason he needs more sleep than I do, he better get up when I ask him to. Sometimes I don't mind taking over night duty in addition to daytime duty, but I usually expect him to change diapers to help out. Sure, I could nap during the day, but if I don't have time to, I get tired and being tired taking care of the baby is dangerous, IMO.

Chelle0112 · April 2010

Bless your heart, I can't imagine dealing with twins. DH is the exact same way though. If DS starts fussing, he gets a paci shoved in his mouth. Nevermind that it's been 3 hours since he's had a bottle, or that his diaper hasn't been checked. If the paci doesn't work, he gives up and walks away while DS is still crying. I understand he works, but when he gets home he could at least take him for an hour while I rest. He just doesn't get it.

Mrsrose30 · April 2010

Mrs.BoomBoom:
robinsokj:
He also seems to think that since hes back at work I should be the only one getting up at night. Well, I don't really find it fair that I should be the only one without any sleep.
You can nap when they nap during the day, he can't.

Am I the only one that cannot nap on command? I have a hard enough falling asleep as it is at nighttime. Napping during the day is something I dream that I can do. I can't imagine what the posters day is like with 2 LO's.

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