Hello - Intro/Questions
tjlovesthepokes
member
Hey girls! I'm a regular Nestie and lurk over here, occasionally. H and I started the adoption process (through the local DHS office) a couple months ago. So, I'll probably be frequenting this board a little more, if you'll have me. 
A little about us: We're mid twenty-somethings from extremely small town Oklahoma. I grew up in an extremely large family (so large, it's hard for most people to fathom) so having a family is something that's important to me... thankfully, it's also important to H. We've both wanted to have biological children along with adopting, so... here we are!
We've gotten our first home study visit next Saturday. I've been through a home study before (my parents adopted my little brother) but that was over 10 years ago, and I vaugely remember how it went. Can y'all tell me what I should expect? Should I do anything special? Does my house need to be absolutely spotless (I mean, I know it needs to be clean - it is - I just didn't know if it needed to be completely spotless). I know all home studies are probably a little different, but a general idea of what to expect would be fabulous. I'm nervous.
Re: Hello - Intro/Questions
Welcome! For our experience, the home study visit was A LOT more casual than we expected. No, it doesn't have to be spotless but you do want to show that there isn't anything unsafe about your home. Honestly, showing that you live there is a plus.
Our social worker had us give a tour so she could see that we had enough space and important items such as working smoke detectors and a fire extinguisher. After that, she mostly just talked with us as it was our last item before approval. (She had met with us together once before, then each of us separately at their offices.)
I've heard of people doing crazy things like making fresh cookies so the house smells homey, but you really don't have to go that far.
Everyone gets really nervous about the home visit, but it will go fine. The key is remembering that the SW is there to confirm that you'll be great parents, not to find ways to disqualify you. As long as the house is safe, clean, and cozy, you'll do great.
You don't want a museum-quality clean house. You want a house that looks like a child would like to live there. But believe me, I think all of us who have gone through the home visit cleaned things we never thought we'd clean!
It's OK to be nervous. We didn't know what to expect either, and it was a breeze. We'd already met twice at the agency office, so the home visit was a walk-through of the house and a discussion of our neighborhood and our town. It went great.
GL!
Welcome to this board! Stay a little, these girls are great...and an awesome source of knowledge.
As far as your home study goes, it's important foryour house to be clean but not super duper spotless clean. They understand that there are people living there and they just want to get to know you.
What type of adoption are you looking into? Domestic? International? Foster?
Good luck!
It'd be a domestic.
We've already had a house assessment in which our CW did a walk through of our house and made sure it was safe and talked to us for a little bit and just kind of told us about the whole process and whatnot. She said it'd be several months before the home study folks would come (the home studies are done by a different group). That was THREE weeks ago.
I was shocked that it was going to be done so soon. Like I said earlier, we're going through the local DHS, so the speediness of it totally shocked me. Reason being because with all I've witnessed with my parents, my family, and some friends... our DHS is not the... best. So, I'm impressed that this process seems to be going so quickly and seeminly pain-free.
Thanks for the kind words and advice! I'm looking forward to getting to know y'all!
We were so nervous as well, but ended up really enjoying the home study process. G and I are very good communicators and talk all the time, but we rarely just sit in our living room and reflect on our relationship and ourselves as a couple so in a way it was really nice. I sort of fell in love with him and us all over again, especially when we got the homestudy report back with everything written out.
As pp have stated, don't worry about perfect, it should be clean enough for you to feel comfortable having your mother or MIL over. I had a plate of cheese, crackers and fruit out, but it was really to give me a distraction in getting ready for the meeting and it gave me something to fiddle with during the interview so that I had an outlet for my anxiety! Turns out I didn't need it, it was a great process!