so sad - just feel so left out

pipsersmom · April 2010

Usually I'm pretty good about not being a downer. Try to say "thank you" to God for all the gifts in my life. Still, today has been really hard. Just read the blog of a woman who struggled with infertility and now has two adopted children, another surprise adoption baby, AND she's pregnant...and I have the nerve to be jealous.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I just feel normal, walking through a Target or going to McDonald's? Why do I always feel like I've been stabbed in the heart when I see a pregnant woman?

I HATE THIS. I just hate it. Hate it so much. Hate the loss, hate feeling like this.

Just feeling really alone and I guess I could use some encouragement.

BlakeG · April 2010

I'm so sorry you having a tough time right now. Everything you are feeling is completely normal and to be expected. The only thing that will lessen the sting is time. Eventually you will be able to look at a pregnant woman and not feel bitter. Every day you get a little stronger whether you realize it or not. Hang in there.

emeraudecephiro · April 2010

I still feel that sting sometimes, or every time I read someone complaining for "their damn pregnancy to end already" That feeling will go away with time, but it is one of those steps of grief we all go through. I know you can do it, and you will be in my thoughts and in my prayers.

An Aggie's Girl · April 2010

I know exactly how you feel right now! My husband and I miscarried June 2, 2009 (our first pregnancy). We were both devastated. Shortly after my cousin brought her baby (born in May) to come visit. Shortly after that, my sister called to tell me that she was pregnant. She just gave birth April 17th to a beautiful baby girl, but yet I can't tell her how happy I am for her and her husband. (can't quite swallow the jealousy bump I guess) I'm still very jealous of all pregnant women and it's been nearly a year. All I've ever wanted in life is to be a Mom! Hopefully it will happen soon!

Hang in there girl!! Enjoy the happy times!!

rowanthefrog · April 2010

((hugs))

These feelings are normal, so normal. Don't feel guilty about them. Whenever I start to feel jealous and resentful of pg women I try to remind myself that I have NO IDEA what they went through to get pregnant and try to be happy for them. And if I can't then I just excuse myself and find someone safe to vent to.

It sucks to feel like that though, I know what you mean. My BFF and my younger sister are both pregnant and due the same day - and only weeks from if either of my last 2 pregnancies had worked out. They are getting cute little bumps and I'm still not pregnant. Its hard because I am happy for them, but it still hurts a lot.

A

millejj1 · April 2010

Sorry you feel crappy! It isn't fair! Hugs!

jerriesgirl · April 2010

Be patient with yourself. I feel the same way sometimes.

bdunbar · April 2010

I'm sorry your feeling this way. You really need to let yourself feel whatever you want and know it's ok.

erinb1025 · April 2010

I'm sorry you are having such a rough day. These feelings are normal, and we have all felt them. I hope things start to turn around for you soon, and that you are able to find some comfort and peace. T&P's are with you.

reticent · April 2010

Thank you so much for posting this. The past two days have been difficult for me. I thought I was dealing with the miscarriage well, but then something clicked in me yesterday and I just can't get out of it. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all.the.time. I don't want to bother anyone with how I'm feeling b/c, well, other than my husband, I don't really have anyone I want to discuss this with. No one can help. No one can make it better. It is what it is and I just wish I could not hurt about it.

I feel similar to you; as I'm walking through Target or talking with family, I feel so different, so awkward. Every time I see another woman post that she's pregnant, it hurts because I know that it won't be me for some time. I feel so disappointed because we were supposed to be excited about something. I am thankful that I have one healthy son, though, at least it gives me hope that we'll be able to have another baby. It just sucks that this time didn't work out.

Know that you're not alone in how you feel. At the very least, I feel similar to you. Please take care of yourself.

ETA -- Sorry I hijacked your post and made it mememe oriented. I'm just so thankful that I'm not alone in how I'm feeling. Thank you.

SassyMamainVA · April 2010

Yup...I'm having the same feelings. It's awful and I hate feeling that way too. I just want to be happy for my friends when they tell me they're pregnant, but I can't. We just have to let ourselves feel whatever we need to feel. It's part of the process of grieving. It definitely sucks, but you're not alone. We're all here for you...keep venting. (((Hugs)))

Amanda02a · April 2010

I have those feelings too sometimes. Nothing is wrong with you or me. This is our new normal... :-( I'm so sorry. I hate all of this too!

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