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do people forget...

ErinA1313ErinA1313
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
that a m/c isn't only physical but emotional/mental as well? my dad keeps saying 'you've made it through the hardest part - the surgery - so you're healing now', forgetting the whole other half of the process - emotional healing. Fortunately my Mom asks me how I"m doing on both fronts about daily which is nice. One day at a time, right ladies...I'm glad you all are here, I couldn't do this without you!
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Re: do people forget...

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Men and those who haven't been through it just don't get it. I'm sorry hun
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  • Lissa832Lissa832 member
    People don't just forget the emotional part, but many forget that it is also physically painful and taxing on someone.    After my first, my mom expected me to play tour guide.  I could barely get out of bed because I was in so much pain, but I was still expected to go shopping and to the beach.  If you haven't been through it, you just don't get it.
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  • SassyMamainVASassyMamainVA
    I struggle with people who just don't get it.  Then again, that was me at one time I suppose.  My mom has been really good about asking how I'm doing and being pretty understanding...I appreciate that.  You're right...just taking everything one day at a time...
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  • TeacherVickyTeacherVicky member

    imagemagdalina.h:
    Men and those who haven't been through it just don't get it. I'm sorry hun

    This! Men seem to only think that the physical part is difficult and once that is over, the healing is over. We all know that is not the case...

    I'm sorry. I'm glad your mom is supportive for you.

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  • azpharmgirlazpharmgirl

    i am sorry your father said that to you.  people can hurt us so much without thinking about it.

    maybe he's trying to help but doesn't have the words.  like maybe he meant, "i am sorry you have to go through this.  i love you and will always love you because you're my baby girl.  i wish i you didn't have to go through this pain and watching you go through it is breaking my heart.  i hope the worst is behind you.  i wish i could take the pain away."

    my father doesn't know what to say to me either.  instead he hands the phone to my mother immediately after he figures out it's me.

    maybe your mom can say something to him for you???

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  • KMLPKMLP member

    imagemagdalina.h:
    Men and those who haven't been through it just don't get it. I'm sorry hun

    I agree.  The only people that get it are those who have been through it.  Men, especially do not get the emotional aspect of it.  ((hugs)) 

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  • Amanda02aAmanda02a
    I dont think anyone gets it unless they have been in this horrible situation.  That is why I am so thankful for this board!
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  • ErinA1313ErinA1313

    Thanks guys. Both of my parents are being supportive so I'm thankful for that. And my DH has been a-mazing.

    Yeah I think my Dad just wants to see his baby girl all better and happy again. He keeps saying 'it was just a trial run, just making sure everything is working - don't worry, you two will have a baby soon!' he's cute lol. The whole man way of thinking of things right :)

     

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  • jerriesgirljerriesgirl

    imagemagdalina.h:
    Men and those who haven't been through it just don't get it. I'm sorry hun

    Definitely this.  I had to stop calling my dad because of the comments he would make.  I would take his calls, but kept them short and sweet.I'm sure they don't mean to be hurtful, they just want to make it better.  

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