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3rd Trimester
CarolinaKatie
member
Older generation doesn't get breastfeeding
CarolinaKatie
member
in my family that is. I was talking to my mom today about she and my dad maybe taking my son for a day or two at various times this summer, the first few weeks after the baby is born. I just said something lilke with all the middle of the night feedings, it might be nice to be able to sleep when the baby sleeps a few times during the day too. Anyway, that led to breastfeeding. She asked if I'd consider formula this time to get him to sleep better than my son did. I tried to tell her that I think that is one of my older son's traits. He's just never been a good sleeper. He was a chunky baby so he ate fine. I don't think it had anything to do with breastfeeding. Then she does into a story about her friend whose daughter just had her 3rd baby - "and she's breastfeeding that baby! Can you believe that?" she said.
I know she just wants to make things easy, but it is annoying. I know she did not breastfeed and that is fine. But I do and I enjoy it. My inlaws are even worse. They got all excited when my son was a few months old when they saw formula on the counter. I had to explain that I only used it to mix with his rice cereal! We tried to tell them once that formula was expensive and we were saving a ton by breastfeeding. Their response "we can help pay for it if you need help." seriously? Oh my.
Not trying to start a BF debate by any means. I guess with this baby I need to keep my mouth shut about any negs with BF - middle of the night feedings, attachment issues, etc!
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Re: Older generation doesn't get breastfeeding
My mom is 55 and thinks the same way. She wanted NOTHING to do with it and I got constant nagging/questioning/criticizing with #1. I ended up having to formula feed after 4 wks anyway (long story) and this time am not going to even attempt to BF but support others who do.
DH's mom did BF him I believe and kind of had this questioning in her voice when I told her I have decided NOT to with #2. She didn't pursue further so I just kept it at that.
BLOG: The Quinntessential Mommy
My MIL did the opposite. She wants to talk to me about BF all the time and tell me what to do. I have no idea why cause we are not close and she did not BF. I finally told her it was my body and my decision and no more talking.
I plan to BF, but I know that it might not work out. So I am keeping an opened mind.
My MIL never prodiced milk even though she tried, she she tells me all the time that I should just FF because of that. And my mom FF both my brother and I because she just did. She never really even considered BFing.
My mom, who I love, thinks that it is going to be shortly after the birth when she gets to take LO for sleep overs at their house but she doesnt understand that she will have to make sure I have pumped enough for that to be possible, and that he will still need to be fed every couple of hours. She had my bro and me on a strict 4 hr schedule when we were babies, so it will definatly be different for her.
My MIL is from that hippy woodstock ere where breastfeeding is considered completely awesome and totally groovy. HAHA.
I dont know what SO's mom thinks as I dont talk to her often and am not too close..I know she didnt BF with SO or his brother and I hope it wont be an issue when they visit but I plan to BF and will take LO out of the room..(which my mom was shocked by..You wont stay and just cover up?!..No?)
My mom wants me to only BF for 6 weeks and stop if I SHOULD HAPPEN to bf at all.. Once I go back to work I plan to pump and told her I'd leave her with milk etc when she babysat.. She didnt know you could store milk it was all new..she swears I'll have to suppliment too because she bf for 6 weeks only and apparently couldnt produce enough for me..
I try to avoid the topic all together with any of my family..
This hasn't been my experience. My mom and MIL are pro-BF, but women I have talked to who are my age are grossed out by it.
What my mom totally does NOT get (and is oddly against) is going med-free. I'm not sure why she cares, but she thinks I'm crazy and actually wants me to get an epidural. I don't get it.
Every time it comes up with my mom, her stock reply is "well, I don't know anything about that, so you'd better just get a book or something."
Uhm... alright, I wasn't asking you how to BF or anything. We were just chit-chatting.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
My mom totally does not understand breastfeeding either. She is from that same generation that was told that formula was best. She always says that she wanted anyone to be able to feed me and didn't want to deny my dad that bonding experience. I have talked to her about the benefits for baby and me, but I don't think she really gets it.
I actually heard her say at my baby shower "I give it a week!" when someone asked her if I was going to breastfeed!!!! I love my mom to death and she is my best friend, but holy crap that pissed me off! My mom is a breast cancer survivor, so I know she has some issues that may stem from that, but way to be supportive mom!
No one else in my family or close circle of friends has breastfed, so I'm kinda going to be going at this alone. If DH wasn't so supportive, I probably wouldn't even try.
My mom said she was not "maternal enough" to BF me (Whatever the hell that means) and MIL told me I was not doing the best for my child when I BF my son. I had to ignore the comments or I was going to lose it.
I think in one of my pg books I have it says the BF actually helps PREVENT breast cancer in the long run..there was no supporting text it just gave a list of the benefits and that was listed..
I wish my SO was more supportive..he doesnt care either way but he kind of says I'll give up because I'll "be so over" the late night feedings and always getting up when shes hungry etc.. Totally feel you on being alone on this..but I'm still going to try.
My Mother is the opposite. She's a Lactation Consultant and a Le Leche League leader. I'm thinking about possibly exclusively pumping and she's SOOO against it. A friend of mine is in her group for LLL and she messaged me saying that my Mom even brought it up at the last meeting. LOL I figure that I'll breastfeed as long as I can, it just depends on when I go back to work.
Sometimes I'd rather have her hound me to FF then to bother me all the time about BF.
I totally understand. My mom doesn't care that I want to BF (she did with me and my sister both), but she hasn't been super supportive, either. She keeps telling me "not to get my hopes up," mostly because my aunt had inverted nipples and "couldn't" BF my cousin.
I wish she were more on board with my desire to BF exclusively for the first 6 months, even if it's difficult. I know there may be challenges, but breastfeeding resources are so much better than they were 30 years ago when my cousin was born. I'm afraid that if I encounter problems, she'll be encouraging me to give up... :-(
When our mom's were having babies they were told that formula was better for the baby; that baby would sleep through the night if fed formula; breastfeeding was seen as something poor peopele did because they couldn't afford formula, etc. So, unfortunately a lot of our moms have misconceptions about formula vs. breasfeeding.
I am lucky that my mom realizes that things have changed a lot and she is supportive even though she didn't breastfeed.