Single Parents
"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
Is it stupid
that I don't want anyone in the delivery room with me except the nurses and doctor?
Its going to be hard enough without the ex there to experience it with me. We aren't speaking and he said he doesn't want to parent with me so there is zero chance of him being at the hospital.
And I don't want my mom there because she will just stress me out. We weren't even going to call and tell her until after I delivered him because she drove me nuts when my sister was in labor.
And I don't know about my sister and best friend, they would be supportive but part of me just wants to be alone with Cooper when he is born. So we have our moment.
"There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
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Re: Is it stupid
If that's how you want it, then go for it. I can't imagine not having anyone in there with me though. X and I were together at the time so he was in there with me, and my mom. I definitely needed their support. If I were you, I would have either your best friend or your sister in there for when you are in labor, then once Cooper is born, have them leave and you can have your alone time with him.
It's not stupid, by any means. But labor and delivery are incredibly difficult times, and I don't know what I would have done without my mom and sisters. By the time I had my son, I was so glad there were other people there to hold him right away because I was so exhausted I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take care of him. And sharing that experience with people you love is incredible...you can talk to them about it later, and re-live the experience again.
It's such an awesome, joyful event...it would be kind of a shame not to share it with anyone. But I understand where you're coming from, and you definitely have to make sure that you're completely comfortable with who will be around you while you're in labor.
I'm a total momma's girl, and I don't think I could ever feel right about not having my mom in the delivery room, no matter what kind of argument we got into in the time leading up to the delivery.
That being said, I know that I have a unique relationship with my ma, and if yours is more like the relationships my friends have with their moms where you more often are stressed and frustrated than you are happy and getting along, that is one less thing you need to deal with while bringing a life into the world. If you choose to not have her in the delivery room, would you tell her enough ahead of time to prepare her, or would you just let her find out when you're in labor?
I totally get this. This is what I did and it was amazing. It was peacful, I was focused, no stress, no pain (thanks to the epidural). The only thing I regretted was not having more pictures. If I could do it over again, that would be the only thing I would change. I would give a nurse my camera and ask that she photograph the baby right after delivery. I say go for it. Good luck!
I was going to say that but I forgot! I'm glad someone else did!
Is there anyone else that you would feel comfortable having there. It's your labor and therefore totally up to you, but I was glad I had my labor coach, STBXH (well sort of, he was on his best behavior), and my mom.
It's nice to have someone to go to the birthing classes with and if you are going to try to labor naturally you really need another person to help with the different positions.
I know I am the sort who would go it alone. That had been my plan when I was getting ready for inseminations.
I find that my resolve and focus is stronger without interruption or the need to worry about other people's feelings. The nurses will step up and be there for you if you do not have someone else. You can do this.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
Have you thought of a doula? This way you have someone who is there just to support you and not just in a medical way, without all the stress of worrying about family members? A friend of mine had a doula and thought it was an amazing experience.
I had to go it alone for a little while with just a nurse (long story, but my husband got locked out of the maternity ward by the cleaning crew and no one was there to let him in for a while) and it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Especially since a nurse won't always be in the room with you, they have other patients to monitor so you will be alone more than you would think if your labor is progressing normally.
I am glad that I had my mom and XFI there whenever I delievered, however, I would have been able to do it alone. After delivering I had imagined having my alone time with DD and being able to share that immediate bond, uninterupted. However, when all was said and done, X was the first to hold her and then they admitted his family in and I was the last person to get to hold her! In the moment, I wasn't upset and I'm still not, but I would have liked to have that immediate bond with her...
I agree with PP that maybe having a friend in the waiting room just in case might be a good idea. It was nice having everyone there while laboring around, it would have been so boring being alone.