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advice on how to deal with dad overstepping his boundaries?

Mattingly23Mattingly23 member
in 2nd Trimester

so I told my dad that I want to have a scheduled c-section. Well, this was a mistake because since then he keeps emailing me articles about how c-sections are so dangerous, etc.

I want to tell him 1. its none of your business what I do with MY body and 2. until you grow a vagina and give birth through it, you have no business weighing in on what I choose to do with mine. But, I don't want to be all confrontational and rude about it- even though I am pissed- I don't want to start a fight with him, I just want him to stop. What should I say?

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Re: advice on how to deal with dad overstepping his boundaries?

  • shellyxoshellyxo

    Just tell him he is overstepping your boundaries. He sounds like he really cares about you, so just explain to him why it bothers you.. if you do I am sure he will stop.

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  • trinakbtrinakb member

    I would say "Dad, I understand you are concerned for my safety and wellbeing but I have given a lot of thought to this and this is my decision. I really hope you will support me."

    If that doesn't work I like to quote Rachel from Friends "No Uterus...No Opinion."

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  • august282005august282005

    Thanks for your concern dad but my doctor and I weighed out all of the risks and benefits to me and the baby before deciding that a c-section was the safest route to ensure of us to survive delivery with minimal complications.

    Love,

    Daughter.  

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  • floridakatfloridakat

    Not for nothing, but if you open a dialogue with your father about how you're giving birth, then you can't really turn around and tell him it's not appropriate for him to discuss it with you.

    You can tell him that you made the decision based on medical advice and ask him to respect that, but I'm not sure how you respectfully tell him not to talk about a topic you brought up.

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  • WilwarinWilwarin
    Before telling you that your dad needs to mind his own business, what exactly are your reasons for wanting a scheduled c-section? 
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  • Spacebunny19Spacebunny19 member
    imagesavannah_girl:
    imageaugust282005:

    Thanks for your concern dad but my doctor and I weighed out all of the risks and benefits to me and the baby before deciding that a c-section was the safest route to ensure of us to survive delivery with minimal complications.

    Love,

    Daughter.  

     

    I like this best.

     

    Me too.  He obviously is concerned for you.  He means well.  Unfortunately,  info we find on the internet sometimes gives people a false sense of being educated about an issue.  Emphasize with him that you and your doctor both think this is best for you and baby.  Good luck!

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  • Dobie_MamaDobie_Mama

    I'm sure his intentions are pure - he's probably just concerned about you.  I remember calling my dad to tell him that I had to have a c/s and he cried.  My dad wasn't a crier.  Just the thought of HIS baby in surgery was scary to him.

    I would just tell him that you understand & appreciate his concern for you, but you're sure that your OB will take good care of you.

     

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  • Mattingly23Mattingly23 member
    I mentioned it to him when he asked- I didn't want to tell him- and since then he has been bombarding me with unsolicited opinions.
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  • Mattingly23Mattingly23 member
    imageaugust282005:

    Thanks for your concern dad but my doctor and I weighed out all of the risks and benefits to me and the baby before deciding that a c-section was the safest route to ensure of us to survive delivery with minimal complications.

    Love,

    Daughter.  

    i like this one! thanks guys!!

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  • aldynaldyn

    imageWilwarin:
    Before telling you that your dad needs to mind his own business, what exactly are your reasons for wanting a scheduled c-section? 

    I'm wondering this too.  And until I know that it really is medically necessary in your situation, I'm going to have to side with your Dad on this one.  Unless something else is going on, a vaginal birth is simply the safest method of delivery for mom and baby.  If your own Dad isn't going to try to dissuade you, who will?

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