South Florida Babies
cocojack10
member
SIL had a vanishing twin! So sad. : (
cocojack10
member
SIL & BIL went on Monday for their sequential testing. During the u/s, BIL asked "what's that" and the technician (very non-chalantly) said, "oh, that is where the twin was!" Apparently, it stopped developing at 7 wks. SIL never knew.
They didn't want to tell us as to not worry us, as one never knows, I guess it can still happen to us. DH found out, and told me late last night. I feel so sad for them. How amazing would it have been to have 2 sets of twins from 2 brothers so close in age (w/in 2 wks).
I don't know what I should do. Call SIL to express my condolenses (sp). DH already spoke to BIL. And the more I think about it, the more sad I get. : (
-- Jackie
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
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Re: SIL had a vanishing twin! So sad. : (
That is sad
I'm sure your SIL would like to hear from you. It would have been so cool to have had the two sets of twins.
I never knew vanishing twins were so common! I guess nowadays we just hear about them more because people are having ultrasounds more early in their pregnancies...
Oh nooo!! That's awful
I'm so sorry for your SIL.
IMO, if your husband already called, then that's probably enough. I would think that he would have expressed condolences from the both of you and it might be hard for her to have to keep talking about it with everyone.
But - I don't know what you relationship with her is like - if you two are really close, then I might call just to see if she needs anything and to let her know you're there for her.
Me either! The tech actually told them that 1 in 8 twin pg results in a vanishing twin! I think that number is so high!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
This! If you are close to her then I would call, but if not then she probably doesn't want to talk about it.
I felt awkward telling people in person about the vanishing twin because it's like you had a miscarriage that you didn't even know about. Since I didn't know about the other twin from the beginning, I didn't feel a deep loss like if I had known, but at the same time it's a scary situation and makes you worry about the other baby and wonder about what it would've been like to carry twins. So, there is some longing for that other child that could've been. I didn't tell too many people about the whole situation because I know people's first reaction is to worry about the bleeding and then feel sad about the loss and I didn't want to make anyone worry about me. A friend that didn't know mentioned the other day how cool it would've been if I were having twins and so I told her about the vanishing twin and it just felt awkward for me. I'm very private though and don't like sharing personal feelings with too many people.
Vanishing twins are very common and you hear about it more now b/c of the early u/s. It's estimated that 1 in 8 pregnancies start off as twins but only 1 in 70 deliver twins. When the twin vanishes in the first trimester it is perfectly safe and fine for the other baby. If it happens later on, it could be dangerous for the mother or surviving twin. There are even studies that link left-handed people to possibly having had a twin b/c some twins mirror each other, but that might be a bit of a stretch.
Jackie, don't worry too much or feel sad for your own babies. Since you'll be having more frequent u/s than usual, you'll be able to monitor them more closely. You've seen their growth and heard their heartbeats, so by this point they should both be okay.
From what I've been reading since I found out about mine, it's 1 in 8 regular pregnancies that start off as twins! That seemed really high to me, too.
Adri - thanks for sharing your story... very appreciative. I think I'll call her later today just to chat... she did call me on Monday, but missed the call and saw it real late, then forgot to call yesterday. Maybe it was for that, or just to see how my appt was. Not sure.
And yes, I keep telling myself that we've heard the h/b several times already, so the chance of m/c is a lot less. And they are growing perfectly on schedule. But then again, I don't want to take anything for granted. It took us so long to get pregnant that it is finally becoming real, and I would hate for anything to happen.
I guess that is the emotions kicking in?!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
YES! Those stories are so tragic and heartwrenching. There are so many things that can go wrong. That's why I did opt to do some of the testing - just to be prepared in case anything goes wrong.
What did you decide to do about the sequential screening?
Dh and I haven't spoken about it again, but I think we'll do it.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I'm truly sorry for your SIL/BIL's loss. Jackie both you and I know that this must be a tough time for the both of them and glad your DH said something. I recommend you send her a card. I would personally wait till she comes to you after that to talk. It will take her a little to get back on her feet again and focus on her bundle of joy waiting to come.
You see, I'm not sure. After the ectopic last yr, she was perfectly fine... like nothing happened! She wasn't sad one bit, or at least didn't express it to others. I felt I was more sad than she was (especiially that I had just had my m/c).
Anyway, she is one to keep her feelings inside, that's for sure. Still not sure what to do.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Just play it safe. Let her know if she wants to talk, that you are there for her. I'm sure that alone she will appreciate very much. It just might be a bit hard to see both of your situations differently now. Regardless I'm sure she is beyond happy you are both expecting but its best you let her deal with this for a short time and embrace her with hugs.
I agree completely. Let her know you are there for her but let her guide things. You never know how she will react this time around. Give her time to digest and process all this.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Wow I am so sorry for her. I seem to be reading a lot lately about vanishing twins. It's so sad.
I think its going to be uncomfortable for you to speak with her but I think you should call her. Call her and if she does not answer the phone (maybe she does not want to talk about it) leave her a message. At least she will know you called.
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
Seriously! When I had the m/c last yr, the nurse called me w/ my beta, and when explaining why it didn't double, she very casually said "m/c" and then "see you tom for another test!" I was in shock.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett