Parenting

Do you ever tell your kids to "shut up"?

Someone yelled, more like bellowed, "SHUT UP" at his crying toddler son today at the restaurant we were at.  The son was so terrified, he dissolved into hiccups, which he tried to suppress.

Made me sick. Like, it made the rest of dinner really depressing.  My kids were quite subdued after that too.

The yelling sucked too, but the words just seem harsh to use, especially to your young children. 

Re: Do you ever tell your kids to "shut up"?

  • I think I might have once or twice but I apologized for it.  I always say please stop or you need to be quiet now  or that is enough, stop.
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  • Poor little guy=(  That is so heartbreaking.  I have never, ever told my kids to shut up. 
  • I slip up every now and then and say it but it's one of my few forbidden things to say. Amarah never fails to correct me if I slip or anyone she hears say it. "Mommy, we don't say that!". I curse like a sailor (out of A's earshot as much as poss.) but something about "shut up" just sounds so abrasive.
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  • Never.

    In my head, maybe.

    Have I wanted to out loud? Unfortunately, lately yes. But I could never do it!

  • No, that's not a term I use ever.  I'm not perfect and my kids have definitely heard words and expressions they shouldn't, but shut up is not one of them.
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  • imagepenguingrrl:
    No, that's not a term I use ever.  I'm not perfect and my kids have definitely heard words and expressions they shouldn't, but shut up is not one of them.

    exactly! 

  • Never.

    But I saw a grandmother yelling it to her hungry, hot, tired, maybe 2 yr old grandson today at the zoo.

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  • EMTEMT member
    That story makes me sad. I've never said that to my kids although today at dinner I put a bite in DDs mouth and told DH I was trying to get her to S-H-U-T U-P :). The constant chatter gets to me sometimes but telling them to shut up even when they are screaming is way harsh.
  • Not in public--LOL!  Not usually but I have before...especially when telling them repeatedly to be quiet when on important phone calls & they refuse to "shut up".  They are not scarred in the least, I assure you.  I don't tell my baby--but my 3 & almost 6yr old (usually together) yes, I have....they are loud, very loud most of every day...and having 3 little ones blabbing/fighting/screaming/etc virutally non-stop 16hours a day, everyday (especially since I SAH)--well it can wear a person down, even a perfect Mom.
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  • I think I shouted it twice in the 4 years I've been a Mum. And only when I've been at the end of my tether and beyond stessed and it was at home. I felt dreadful after it but it just came out and i needed them to stop! It worked and they are not scarred Smile And I apologised afterwards and explained myself.

    The situation you described is awful. My next door neighbours do this ALL.THE.TIME! but worse.........

    3 days ago the mother told her son (6yo) that he was a "dirty scumbag" for "Sh1tting" on the floor. She ROARED it at him, so loudly that we could hear it in our house and it made my DS jump! This kind of verbal abuse is constant next door. Some people are beyond horible to their kids. Sad

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  • ZenyaZenya member

    No, never.  That is one of the things a small child should never hear.  Mean, mean.

     

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  • imagebreezee_bean:
    Poor little guy=(  That is so heartbreaking.  I have never, ever told my kids to shut up. 

    This. I feel terrible for that little kid.  

  • No, that's something I haven't done yet and I hope I never do. If that guy screams like that in public, I wonder what he does at home?? :(

    I have done my share of screaming, though, and I have had to apologize to DS many times for losing it. I hate it when I do that.

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  • No, not ever.

    ~Lisa
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  • imageemilykristene2006:

    Never.

    In my head, maybe.

    Have I wanted to out loud? Unfortunately, lately yes. But I could never do it!

    This exactly. I have yelled "Be Quiet!" but that seems much less mean to me than yelling "Shut up." Maybe it's just semantics, but I hate "shut up."  

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  • Nope but I feel like I am constantly saying "be quiet please"  "indoor vioce" or "hush for a min."

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  • Not ever.  Seriously, that is one that I can say that I have never said.

    It is an ugly phrase and I try to teach my childrent that you don't say ugly things.  Sometimes I fail and say it to our dog, but I quickly remember not to because DS will repeat it.

    I can't believe someone would do that.  In public, no less.  It makes me cringe thinking about what they do in private.

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    Me with my littlest.
  • I have said it twice, and I felt horrible about it.  I apologized and told them I made a mistake.  I would be horrified if anyone else saw me in those moments.

    The scary thing is that if that man yelled like that in public, what does he do at home? 

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  • I do all the time.  But I don't scream at them out in public to SU.  In the house, when they are being crazy or interrupt an important phone call, I firmly tell them to shut it or shut up.  But also when we're playing around and they get loud or say something crazy or silly, I playfully tell them to shuuuut uuuup in a cute way too so when I tell them in a serious tone to shut up, it's not anything they are mortified over.

  • imagewinery:

     Sometimes I fail and say it to our dog, but I quickly remember not to because DS will repeat it.

     

    this exactly happened to us.  I heard N say it and couldn't figure out why...but then realized we say it to our barky dog-kids hear *everything*...we know that now. 

    Nathan 7-13-06 ~ Elizabeth 4-12-09 ~ Zachary 8-5-11
  • I actually just yelled it at Joey yesterday.  He was on my last damn nerve and would NOT stop.

    However I say it so infrequently that I actually took note that I said it.  And it's NOT nice and something that should not be said.  I didn't apologize for it yesterday (even though I should) and so I'll let it go.  Unless he says it in the near future and I will have a discussion with him about it.

    FWIW, he was completely unphased.  Although that concerns me MUCH more than if he was phased by it!

  • No, never. I usually say "hush" or "hush up", which is a much better version. Totally makes me cringe when I hear parents saying "shut up".
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  • No, and he actually used it once (unsure where he picked it up - possibly from us, because I will say, "OMG shuttup!!!!" to MH when I am surprised - yes I'm a teenager), and I told him that we say "be quiet please" instead.

    I don't really have an issue with saying mean things to him while yelling/screaming.  My issue is that my sarcasm is off the charts, and of course, he doesn't really get it.  It's hard for me to curb some of my immediate reactions that would probably hurt his feelings now that he's older.  I worry more about that than yelling something harsh at him, just because that's my weakness.

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  • Never have.

    I did once yell at DD to "knock it off!" and, well, it totally freaked her the F out so we had a long talk.  We both agreed that neither one of us would ever say that to anyone, ever again.  Felt like a total douchenozzle, it really scared her.

  • Shut up is just not a word I use.  I was a teacher in middle school so there were plenty of times that I could have used the word (daily) but only said it maybe once in the 7 years I taught.  At my MIL's house I think her and her sister say 'Shut it up' or something to that nature which I don't like.  I have said in a round about way that we don't say that at home or something.  I will say OK that's enough or Stop it (crying, whining etc) or Close your mouth (this is mostly used during church or other no talking moments).
    Mommy to DS1 ~10.11.05~ DD1 ~07.22.07~ DD2 ~09.10.10~
  • I have said it to DD before. Maybe a couple of times? I am not saying it is right, or any more "ok" but I was only when she turned into a horrible teenager that I lost all ability to maintain my composure.

     

  • No way. I have never, ever told them to shut up. We say be quiet or hush.
  • Never, it's just too harsh. I even feel guilty when I yell at our dog to 'Shut up!' when he's outside barking his head off. DH and I don't say it to each other, either, even if we are arguing about something.
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