Weight gain posts....

MrserinJ · April 2010

I don't know if its just me, but does it seem like when someone posts and asks about how much people have gained, that the people who have gained barely any weight respond mostly? Maybe I am just a fatty, but I am almost 22 weeks and am up 12 lbs. I was actually pretty happy with that, but when I read all of the responses, it seems like there are sooo many who are like 5 lbs at 25 weeks, etc. LOL. I thought 12 lbs at this stage was pretty normal, and I'm actually quite pleased as my last pregnancy I went nuts with the sweets and had gained 25 lbs by this point LOL. My doctor is happy with it too. It just seems like there are so many ladies who have gained barely nothing!

I know everyone is different and you can't compare, so who knows....does anyone else notice this though?

Azrayla · April 2010

I really dont see the point of weight posts..I mean I have asked my fair share on gain and back at 22wks I was up 13lbs..I was told that wasnt a lot AT ALL but my ob made me feel like crap about it so I asked and got all the people who gained near to nothing or lost..didnt help

I think I did see one thread where the upper portion ladies came out of the wood work..but really as you said everyone is different and I guess its a curiosity thing but not worth the comparing and contrasting..we all started out different and gain differently..

shellyxo · April 2010

https://nymag.com/nymetro/health/features/9909/

Great article about weight obsession during pregnancy.

I am underweight right now and feel horrible about it.

ajchou · April 2010

I noticed this to, but I thought there were probably a few explanations, like people losing a lot of weight with severe morning sickness, then gaining that back, but in total, only a small amount of weight actually gained from their pre-pg weight. Other people may have been bigger to start with, so they don't need to gain as much weight as someone who starts out skinny.

Honestly, everyone is so different, but it's definitely hard to see people only gaining 5 lbs by week 20 when I've already put on 4-5 in week 13!!

shellyxo · April 2010

Here is just a little part of the article I posted about earlier..

"On New York?s UrbanBaby, a popular Website where women share and kvetch about everything from baby names to real estate to the intricacies of sonograms, ?weight polls? regularly erupt:

13 weeks, 4 lbs
24 weeks, 20 lbs!
13 weeks, 0 pounds (Okay, I might have gained a pound or two in the very beginning but that?s at most. Should I be concerned?)
Check with your doctor but probably fine. . . .
13 weeks, 12 lbs! I feel like a hippo compared to you!
25 weeks, 24 lbs! (No wait. Did the math wrong. 22 lbs. Wow. I feel better.)
Occasionally, a naysayer will interrupt the endless flow: ?148 weeks, three thousand pounds. Just f--kin? eat, gain weight, get fat if you want, have a healthy baby, lose the weight if you want, get on with your life!!!? But libertines are quickly put in their place??It sounds like somebody is unhappy about the weight she has gained??and the expectant mothers happily return to plugging in their weeks and weight, weeks and weight.No one has formally examined what pregnant New Yorkers are thinking about their bodies?or putting into them?but in a Johns Hopkins study published last year, 21 percent of the well-educated, affluent Baltimore-area women surveyed reported engaging in ?weight-restrictive behavior?: trying not to look pregnant early in pregnancy, attempting to limit weight gain one month after they?d gained ?too much? the month before, and fasting before visiting a doctor. The study also unearthed this disconcerting tidbit: Those who?d ?undergained? (as measured by widely followed Institute of Medicine guidelines that say women of normal weight should add 25 to 35 pounds; those who are underweight, 28 to 40; and those who are overweight, about 15) had the most positive body images. If those are the numbers in Baltimore, imagine what?s happening on our narrow isle."

girlintheworld · April 2010

Yes, I noticed that, too. I think the gals who have maybe gained a little more are less inclined to respond, so you get a ton of negative weight gains or very little gains. I've gained 16lbs and I'm 23 weeks...I certainly hesitated before responding to an earlier weight post. I eventually did post it, but I felt like I was definitely on the higher end, even though I'm technically right on track.

malt · April 2010

I feel that way about bump pictures. Where are the bump pictures of the girls who are lumpy like me?? We are underrepresented.

That being said, I don't know what makes people gain a lot or a little. I started pretty overweight (BMI of 29.9, so almost "obese") but a size 14 and 5'7. I am 19 weeks and have gained 3 or 4 pounds. I didn't have vomiting or severe morning sickness. I eat when I want to and haven't pigged out on McD's or anything, but always eat when I am hungry. I am definitely happy, though, because I was so scared about how big I could get. I guess our bodies do what they need to do.

MrserinJ · April 2010

Thanks for the replies, Ladies! They are very reassuring. I started out with a normal but lower end BMI (21.1) I'm not skinny by any means, but I think my doctor is very liberal because he delivered my son too and he didn't even say anything about me gaining close to 60 lbs the first time. I'm doing better this pregnancy, but don'tthis week is looking bad as I've been unable to restrain myself from the huge pan of brownies I made the other day! I should have learned not to have that stuff around! Oh well, the faster I eat them, the faster they are out of here (at least that's what I tell myself!) Lol

sleepyocean · April 2010

yeah, the weight posts usually piss me off! The last time I saw one I chimed in to say that I doubted most of the women who had gained normal weight would feel comfortable posting because all of the women who claim to have only gained a couple pounds or to have lost. I'm gaining at a normal rate so far and am happy about that, I feel like the women who post about "only" gaining 3-5 pounds are trying to brag, like it's important to gain as little as possible so they can be "small" again after baby comes. Get over yourselves eat something, and worry about having a healthy baby instead of how little weight you've gained!!!

crysmike · April 2010

sleepyocean:
yeah, the weight posts usually piss me off! The last time I saw one I chimed in to say that I doubted most of the women who had gained normal weight would feel comfortable posting because all of the women who claim to have only gained a couple pounds or to have lost. I'm gaining at a normal rate so far and am happy about that, I feel like the women who post about "only" gaining 3-5 pounds are trying to brag, like it's important to gain as little as possible so they can be "small" again after baby comes. Get over yourselves eat something, and worry about having a healthy baby instead of how little weight you've gained!!!

I *heart* you!

Azrayla · April 2010

crysmike:
sleepyocean:
yeah, the weight posts usually piss me off! The last time I saw one I chimed in to say that I doubted most of the women who had gained normal weight would feel comfortable posting because all of the women who claim to have only gained a couple pounds or to have lost. I'm gaining at a normal rate so far and am happy about that, I feel like the women who post about "only" gaining 3-5 pounds are trying to brag, like it's important to gain as little as possible so they can be "small" again after baby comes. Get over yourselves eat something, and worry about having a healthy baby instead of how little weight you've gained!!!

I *heart* you!

Haha me too!

I swear I've had about three break downs and crying fits though due to my gain (since as stated my first OB made me feel like crap at first then I swapped obs) and still felt like I was putting on too much.. I've gotten over it now and am like whatever I'll lose it later!

I was over my BMI and size 14 PP and have a total gain of 35lbs so far..Okay so its not great but it could be worse! I think the only part that kills me is that I now weigh ALMOST as much as my 6'1 SO Embarrassed

MrserinJ · April 2010

Azrayla:

crysmike:
sleepyocean:
yeah, the weight posts usually piss me off! The last time I saw one I chimed in to say that I doubted most of the women who had gained normal weight would feel comfortable posting because all of the women who claim to have only gained a couple pounds or to have lost. I'm gaining at a normal rate so far and am happy about that, I feel like the women who post about "only" gaining 3-5 pounds are trying to brag, like it's important to gain as little as possible so they can be "small" again after baby comes. Get over yourselves eat something, and worry about having a healthy baby instead of how little weight you've gained!!!

I *heart* you!

Haha me too!

I swear I've had about three break downs and crying fits though due to my gain (since as stated my first OB made me feel like crap at first then I swapped obs) and still felt like I was putting on too much.. I've gotten over it now and am like whatever I'll lose it later!

I was over my BMI and size 14 PP and have a total gain of 35lbs so far..Okay so its not great but it could be worse! I think the only part that kills me is that I now weigh ALMOST as much as my 6'1 SO

OK, this is what I wanted to say, but was a bit more delicate!! LOL I feel this way too! Like I said, I am thin when I'm not pregnant, but I still gain weight super easy while pg. I know there's cases like with m/s, etc but I don't understand how so many people barely gain any weight.

And don't worry about almost weighing as much as your SO. I remember freaking out about that! I am 6'1 myself and normally start out at 155-160 when I'm not pregnant, so got close to 220 when I was pg with DS. My DH is that much and he is 6'5! I remember freaking out, but honestly, there's no point worrying about it! You're pregnant and you shouldn't compare. I'm so glad you got over it, good for you! I think you look great in your pictures!

JJ1973 · April 2010

I posted that article (the one shellyxo posted above) a week or two ago on here...I found it fascinating in a more academic sense. The whole weight gain thing is complex, both in terms of how much people gain (obviously quite variable) and the psychological and social factors involved. At 25 weeks, I think I've made peace with where I'm headed and have worked through my own demons around this topic. It is funny, too, as I've always been on the extremely thin side and I'm at the lower end of "normal" or "healthy" weight gain in pregnancy (14 pounds at 25 weeks), but I'll admit all those low gainers who post on here had me worried that I had gained too much along the way. It is really pretty ridiculous. But, I guess we're all human. The weight gain posts just seem like a silly and needless routine to me now. However, maybe they serve a function (adaptive of maladaptive) for others.

Azrayla · April 2010

MrserinJ:

OK, this is what I wanted to say, but was a bit more delicate!! LOL I feel this way too! Like I said, I am thin when I'm not pregnant, but I still gain weight super easy while pg. I know there's cases like with m/s, etc but I don't understand how so many people barely gain any weight.

And don't worry about almost weighing as much as your SO. I remember freaking out about that! I am 6'1 myself and normally start out at 155-160 when I'm not pregnant, so got close to 220 when I was pg with DS. My DH is that much and he is 6'5! I remember freaking out, but honestly, there's no point worrying about it! You're pregnant and you shouldn't compare. I'm so glad you got over it, good for you! I think you look great in your pictures!

Thank you! I think thats what helped everyone saying nice things too and such and its a real boost which helped me get over it (I've just always struggled with self image so being pg was no help! Stick out tongue )

But goodness 6'1 I bet even at 220 you probably still looked awesome! Totally jealous of that height as well..

as for PP..I need to check out the link posted..kinda skipped it..

gnomely · April 2010

Man, I'm glad that there are other people tired of the weight gain posts. At first they had me worried, then briefly a bit obsessed but then...I made peace with it. Rather, I continue to make peace with it because it's an everyday thing. Now the posts are just tiresome.

For full disclosure, I'm up 23 pounds at 26 weeks.

NewMom0808 · April 2010

Any woman who thinks she's gained "too much" wieght don't feel bad... I'm only 25 weeks and I've already gained 40lb. The way I see it your body knows what it's doing so instead of being worried about what you look like and how big you're getting (or not getting) just do what comes natural.

danielle0278 · April 2010

sleepyocean:
yeah, the weight posts usually piss me off! The last time I saw one I chimed in to say that I doubted most of the women who had gained normal weight would feel comfortable posting because all of the women who claim to have only gained a couple pounds or to have lost. I'm gaining at a normal rate so far and am happy about that, I feel like the women who post about "only" gaining 3-5 pounds are trying to brag, like it's important to gain as little as possible so they can be "small" again after baby comes. Get over yourselves eat something, and worry about having a healthy baby instead of how little weight you've gained!!!

I don't think people who post questions about weight or who reply are necessarily bragging about it. Obviously everyone is going to gain weight differently... however with that being said it is sometimes nice to know that you are not alone.

I have only lost weight so far during this pregnancy. I have had some morning sickness as well and I was a little overweight to start with. And trust me I do eat and indulge myself sometimes. If anything I think I am more worried about having a healthy baby and worry if everything is okay b/c I haven't gained any weight. I almost feel like I am not providing enough nutrients for the baby even though I eat and eat. However, my doctor isn't concerned about it and said the baby will take from me what it needs to.

nosoup4u · April 2010

malt:
I feel that way about bump pictures. Where are the bump pictures of the girls who are lumpy like me?? We are underrepresented.

I have seen a few posts here and there about larger mama's bumps...I think the October board has had one recently?

The weight gain posts are like the morning sickness posts in the 1st trimester - I am convinced there's a silent majority who are gaining a decent amount of weight, or who don't get very sick in the beginning, but where's the interest in telling other people that on a message board?

and FWIW, I gained almost 50 pounds with DS (but did lose it all, though it took a full year), and am up 15 pounds at 17ish weeks. Like someone mentioned, there's very little you can do, but it's still hard to deal with sometimes!

~*Sarah*~ · April 2010

i have noticed that too . but like you said everyone is different I am up 1 lb according to the doc and 4 according to me lol. but with DD i was down 8lbs at this point but then i gain a lot in the last 5 months. thats my pattern and that looks like what im going to to this time to. 12lbs is great I think for being 22w. if the doc and you are happy with it (which i would be thrilled) then just tell yourself ?everyone is different.

Dobie_Mama · April 2010

MrserinJ:
Maybe I am just a fatty, but I am almost 22 weeks and am up 12 lbs. I was actually pretty happy with that, but when I read all of the responses, it seems like there are sooo many who are like 5 lbs at 25 weeks, etc. LOL. I thought 12 lbs at this stage was pretty normal

FWIW - you're pretty much where I am and exactly where my MW wants me to be. I'm up 11lbs at 21wks.

I don't put much stock in the weight gain posts because people don't gain weight at the same rate. I gained tons early on with DD and then basically nothing at the end. This time I gained nothing until 17wks and then packed on 11lbs in 4wks. It evens out.

VABride2008 · April 2010

I think the important thing is for you to eat healthy and to not starve your baby. If people are posting weight gain posts just to "brag" that's pretty dumb. I haven't gained as much as the pregnancy books say I should but my Doctor is not concerned and I'm eating plenty to provide for my child. I don't deprive myself of certain foods but I also don't sit down and indulge in a whole platter of brownies (though they were awfully tempting). :-P

MamaKajsa · April 2010

ajchou:

I noticed this to, but I thought there were probably a few explanations, like people losing a lot of weight with severe morning sickness, then gaining that back, but in total, only a small amount of weight actually gained from their pre-pg weight. Other people may have been bigger to start with, so they don't need to gain as much weight as someone who starts out skinny.

Honestly, everyone is so different, but it's definitely hard to see people only gaining 5 lbs by week 20 when I've already put on 4-5 in week 13!!

Thats me! I had extra weight so I really dont need to gain much at all.

delg23 · April 2010

I definitely agree that its mostly the low gainers that reply. I've gained 24lbs so there its out there! I probably would have gained more but I got food poisoning 2 weeks ago. I started out w/ a bmi of 20.9. I'm 5'3"

trinakb · April 2010

I completely agree. I saw the weight gain post yesterday and chose not to respond because I am one of the ladies that actually is gaining weight. None of that oh i'm up 3lbs or I lost 8lbs so i felt uncomfortable being in the minority. I had no morning sickness which i'm very thankful for but that means I can't compare my self to the ladies that were vomiting for months when it comes to weight gain.

I am just guessing but I think at 22weeks i've gained about 15lbs. I don't get on the scale and I choose not to look at the scale at the doctors office. I tell them if it looks outrageous and we need to talk about it then tell me, otherwise what is the sense in knowing? It will be one more thing to be concerned about and this is the time in my life where I should gain some weight (obviously in a healthy way).

I think all the ladies who obsess about weight when they are pregnant should maybe just try not looking at the scale and focus on what you eat...I know for me it makes me feel ALOT better. (and no i'm not saying all who post about weight gain are obsessed but there are plenty of ladies who are) Who cares about the number?

giantsgirl55 · April 2010

Delg23, Thank you so much for writing this...I posted a few weeks ago on the Sept2010 boards about how I was tired of reading the weight posts and only seeing negative to no weight gains, and I got completely flamed for it!

These post just make the rest of us who have gained feel like fatties and bad mommies..and I truly do believe, along with that article that some (not all ladies) ARE doing it to brag.

jgal84 · April 2010

I think people are just looking for reassurance regarding their weight gain. Yes, everyone gains weight differently, but it's nice to know that you aren't alone, whether you've lost weight, gained little to none or gained a lot.

Norcal_chick · April 2010

Weight gain is a sensitive subject for a lot of people... me included. I don't think there is a "norm" when it comes to what you will gain while being pregnant. As long as you eat right as much as you can and try to exercise regularly the weight you gain is healthy. Our babies need to grow and be healthy and its hard when we are stressing over the number of pounds we have gained compared to others. You will gain what you will gain.... It might not be easy for some but its the best for your baby.

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