I can't bring myself to say I can't go

robinsokj · April 2010

I am MOH in my best friends wedding. Her bach party is end of May. All she wants is for me to be there. I don't know how this is possible. I can't bring myself to tell her that I may not be there, but I know I really need to. I don't know why this is so difficult

jCamsquared · April 2010

Is it close by? Meaning, is it something you could go to dinner and then go home when they go out after?

Mysterious_wife · April 2010

You have a few more weeks. Wait and see what time will bring. THings are could be different by then.

jensneb · April 2010

What is your reason for not going? Are you BF? Just don't want to leave the boys? Or just don't wannt go, not your thing? It may mean a lot to her and maybe you can work something out, but if you just don't wanna go, use the babies as a reason, she can't be mad at you for that. I know how you feel though, I had to go to my friend's party at a bar and I didn't really want to.

mrs.maybride · April 2010

Mysterious_wife:
You have a few more weeks. Wait and see what time will bring. THings are could be different by then.

True words. I went on a bacherlorette party trip about 10 hours from home when Joshua was just at 3 months old. It was tough because I was constantly worried about him, but for my sanity, it was great.

One of the most difficult struggles I've had is finding time to still be "me" and enjoy my friends. Give it some time and think about it and go. It'll mean a lot to your friend, but it'll probably mean more to you in the long run.

robinsokj · April 2010

Its over 3 hours away and I am bfing. My parents are going to be at the wedding so they will have the boys with them then. My mom has offered to come with me. I guess I'll just wait a little while before making my decision

mrs.maybride · April 2010

robinsokj:
Its over 3 hours away and I am bfing. My parents are going to be at the wedding so they will have the boys with them then. My mom has offered to come with me. I guess I'll just wait a little while before making my decision

I was BFing, too. I stashed up enough prior to going to get DH and Joshua through the weekend and then I rode with a friend. My Lansinoh had a car-adapter for the power source and she drove so I could pump. I used the fridge condo to store the milk and then brought it all home on ice in a cooler. This is do-able if you want to do it. And yes, I know it's tempting, but don't use BFing as an excuse to keep yourself from having a good time. Trust me when I say you'll need it!

Mysterious_wife · April 2010

mrs.maybride:

robinsokj:
Its over 3 hours away and I am bfing. My parents are going to be at the wedding so they will have the boys with them then. My mom has offered to come with me. I guess I'll just wait a little while before making my decision

I was BFing, too. I stashed up enough prior to going to get DH and Joshua through the weekend and then I rode with a friend. My Lansinoh had a car-adapter for the power source and she drove so I could pump. I used the fridge condo to store the milk and then brought it all home on ice in a cooler. This is do-able if you want to do it. And yes, I know it's tempting, but don't use BFing as an excuse to keep yourself from having a good time. Trust me when I say you'll need it!

I agree 100%. I really don't get why parents think they have to stop doing everything once the child(ren) are here. Make it work. It is doable. We went out when Allie was a few weeks old. We were gone for a few hours and came home to a happy sleeping baby. I was in a better mood for weeks. THat little break is what kept my sh!t together.

mrs.maybride · April 2010

Mysterious_wife:
mrs.maybride:

robinsokj:
Its over 3 hours away and I am bfing. My parents are going to be at the wedding so they will have the boys with them then. My mom has offered to come with me. I guess I'll just wait a little while before making my decision

I was BFing, too. I stashed up enough prior to going to get DH and Joshua through the weekend and then I rode with a friend. My Lansinoh had a car-adapter for the power source and she drove so I could pump. I used the fridge condo to store the milk and then brought it all home on ice in a cooler. This is do-able if you want to do it. And yes, I know it's tempting, but don't use BFing as an excuse to keep yourself from having a good time. Trust me when I say you'll need it!

I agree 100%. I really don't get why parents think they have to stop doing everything once the child(ren) are here. Make it work. It is doable. We went out when Allie was a few weeks old. We were gone for a few hours and came home to a happy sleeping baby. I was in a better mood for weeks. THat little break is what kept my sh!t together.

And I'm saying what I'm saying not to be judge-y or preachy, but from a point of honesty. Because I am a control. freak. let me tell you. CONTROL FREAK OF NATURE. So the idea of leaving Joshua for a weekend stressed me out to the point that I broke out in hives. But you know what? By the third beer on the second day of being there after being able to sleep in until 1:00 JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO, I knew I'd made the right decision to go. And I still sabotage my own sanity because I think Joshua needs me. But early on, I needed some time to find my center again.

Mysterious_wife · April 2010

mrs.maybride:
Mysterious_wife:
mrs.maybride:

robinsokj:
Its over 3 hours away and I am bfing. My parents are going to be at the wedding so they will have the boys with them then. My mom has offered to come with me. I guess I'll just wait a little while before making my decision

I was BFing, too. I stashed up enough prior to going to get DH and Joshua through the weekend and then I rode with a friend. My Lansinoh had a car-adapter for the power source and she drove so I could pump. I used the fridge condo to store the milk and then brought it all home on ice in a cooler. This is do-able if you want to do it. And yes, I know it's tempting, but don't use BFing as an excuse to keep yourself from having a good time. Trust me when I say you'll need it!

I agree 100%. I really don't get why parents think they have to stop doing everything once the child(ren) are here. Make it work. It is doable. We went out when Allie was a few weeks old. We were gone for a few hours and came home to a happy sleeping baby. I was in a better mood for weeks. THat little break is what kept my sh!t together.

And I'm saying what I'm saying not to be judge-y or preachy, but from a point of honesty. Because I am a control. freak. let me tell you. CONTROL FREAK OF NATURE. So the idea of leaving Joshua for a weekend stressed me out to the point that I broke out in hives. But you know what? By the third beer on the second day of being there after being able to sleep in until 1:00 JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO, I knew I'd made the right decision to go. And I still sabotage my own sanity because I think Joshua needs me. But early on, I needed some time to find my center again.

lol. I was also in a panic about leaving Allie. I thought she was going to need me or DH and not be able to function without us. I don't even know if she noticed we were missing. I think she woke up once or twice to eat and play. My mom said she never once blinked an eye to us being gone.

robinsokj · April 2010

This might be dumb, but I am afraid of what this will do to my supply. Trying to pump enough for two is a full time job and I am scurred about going a couple days with pump and dumping

mrs.maybride · April 2010

robinsokj:
This might be dumb, but I am afraid of what this will do to my supply. Trying to pump enough for two is a full time job and I am scurred about going a couple days with pump and dumping

So don't pump and dump. Watch how much you have to drink, or don't drink at all. Nothing says you have to get plastered to have a good time with your friends. Volunteer to be the DD and tell the bride it's your gift to her as MOH. While I was gone for that weekend, I limited my intake to one an hour at most and didn't have to dump any of it. It all came back with me and went directly into my freezer when I got home.

Mysterious_wife · April 2010

robinsokj:
This might be dumb, but I am afraid of what this will do to my supply. Trying to pump enough for two is a full time job and I am scurred about going a couple days with pump and dumping

They will be 6-7 weeks old. I am sure by then you will be able to produce enough or get into a grove to make it work.

I think you need to wait until a week or two before to make a choice. Telling her now you can't go, then in a few week realize it is doable and you want to go, could make you live in regret.

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