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Single Parents
Anyone have 'friends' who just don't get it?
When H left, I shut down a bit and stopped talking to a few people. Mainly friendships that were on bad terms anyways.
Sil is the only person I have talked to regularly, but it is getting harder and harder. She just doesn't get it. Her H did almost everything when their lo was younger, from diapers, to baths, making bottles, changing clothes. H didn't do half of that when he was around, but now it is all on me, on top of having a full time job, and NO transportation of my own.
We went and got our hair done yesterday and it took an hour longer then we had expected it to. I didn't have time to go to the movies so she got mad. I'm sorry but my mom is watching the baby, has plans of her own, and I have her car! WTH am I supposed to do? If I had $$$ laying around, I would have a car.
It is so frustrating! I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I don't know how to make her understand it either. She says that she gets it, but clearly she doesn't.
I am starting to feel like I'm just not good enough for anyone! So frustrating!
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Re: Anyone have 'friends' who just don't get it?
yep!
i had a really good friend (or so I thought) tell me the other day that we couldn't be friends anymore because "our priorities changed and i don't like when you whine about BD"
it was more of "you're not paying any attention to me so I don't want to be friends with you" and "you're a single mom and I sit on a higher level than you"
In my bag
d90
50mm f/1.2 * 28-85mm (Macro) f/3.5-4.5 * 70-300mm f/3.5-4.5
Opteka Fisheye Adapter * Lightscoop
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
HA! That is my life. When I got married I lost all my single friends because I didn't feel like going to the bar every night and I got pregnant right away... Then the ones in relationships disappeared when I had DS because I didn't have time for double dates anymore... Now I have maybe 3 friends with children and anytime I try to set up playdates I'm always left hanging... There DH doesn't feel like joining us or some other lame excuse. And no matter how may times I try to arrange something I always get a "not this time" in the end. My friends are my sisters now, they always have time for me and DS
Yes, and I think it is a good point about not having to have friends who are exactly in the same place as you, but choosing friends who have empathy. I have plenty of friends who understand that I can't go out as much anymore and they just come over for a glass of wine or dinner. I also have friends who are going through EXACTLY the same thing as me, which is nice because we can relate to one another so well.
Sometimes it is hard because people don't understand being a single mom. They say they do, but their actions prove differently.
This is my feeling exactly!
She knew from the beginning that I had to be home by 2 because my mom had plans. I had my moms car, and my mom had the baby. When it took an hour longer to get our hair done it through everything off, and since a movie takes the longest amount of time, it was the first thing to get cut.
We have never hung out for less then 4 hours at a time, plus the drive time which is anywhere from 30-60 minutes.
Apparently she is still holding it against me that I would be home at a certain time back in the day so I could spend time with H....She has always said "we've been married for 8 years, I dont NEED to spend time with my husband". I'm sorry, but if I'm in a relationship where I don't WANT to spend time with my so...wth is the point of the relationship?!
It's SO frustrating! It's not just one simple fix,there are so many factors that play into making it hard to do anything right now.