Does anyone get really nervous talking to people, even on the phone?

joseysbride · April 2010

Ugh. I NEVER used to be like this. I don't what my deal is. I am normally, and always have been, fairly confident in myself and it's never been a big deal to call someone and ask for something, talk in front of groups of people, etc. but lately I have been having a hard time with it.

I have been puting off making a call about some business stuff for almost a month now. I finally called today. I had everything I wanted to say written down, and thought I was good to go, but as soon as the phone started ringing I freaked. I had to leave a voicemail, and now I'm not even sure I remembered to include my phone number so they could call me back! My stomach still feels queasy just thinking about it.

Maybe it's because I'm feeling a lot of pressure to do well? Or because I really want to do well? But, see, in the past, I never even questioned if I would or wouldn't do well in anything I did. I don't know why it's changed.

If you have problems with this, how do you cope?

xbrooklyngrl · April 2010

Is this for your new business or for work?

I assume if its somehting new, maybe you feel a little more nervous and a little less confident but that will come with time.

And no, I don't have this problem. I was a phone operator from 15-18 so I got used to talking to people.

joseysbride · April 2010

Oh, great. So I'm the only one who gets nervous about talking to people? Sad

nettie · April 2010

Sometimes, I can be like this. I think mine has to do with depression or anxiety issues because it normally happens to me when I am feeling pretty down. My sister-she won't call anyone, like for example the pizza guy, the bank etc..I think she has major anxiety issues or something. she did start medicine before and said it improved a great deal. The way I cope? I just kind of have to make myself do it..most of the time it happens at work and so I HAVE to do it so I just make myself..sorry, I couldn't help more, just wanted to let you know, you're not the only one..

joseysbride · April 2010

xbrooklyngrl:

Is this for your new business or for work?

I assume if its somehting new, maybe you feel a little more nervous and a little less confident but that will come with time.

And no, I don't have this problem. I was a phone operator from 15-18 so I got used to talking to people.

Yes, it is for my photog business. And why does it not surprise me that you have no problems talking to people? LOL!

I guess it is more just asking someone for something that I have a hard time with.

veloelle · April 2010

Yes, I have this problem. Which is why I never got my biz up and running. I think because it's so personal, kwim? You are really putting yourself out there, which adds a whole layer of the possibility of being let down. Give yourself baby goals; the more calls you make, the easier it is. Good luck!

ShufflerChick · April 2010

I've always hated the phone. I have no problem in front of people, I used to do a lot of theater and actually love getting up in front of crowds. But I still hate the phone. So much so that my mom used to arrange all my playdates even when I was old enough to do it myself, and now my husband handles any calls that aren't essential for me to do. I have no idea why I'm like this, it's a phone thing.

Though when I do need to make a call, I try to "remove myself" from the situation. After putting it off as long as possible, I sort of pretend I'm someone else, then just grit my teeth and get it over with. It's never as bad as I hype it out to be, it's usually just fine. And like you, I definitely prepare ahead of time what I'm going to say.

joseysbride · April 2010

veloelle:
Yes, I have this problem. Which is why I never got my biz up and running. I think because it's so personal, kwim? You are really putting yourself out there, which adds a whole layer of the possibility of being let down. Give yourself baby goals; the more calls you make, the easier it is. Good luck!

This makes total sense. You're right; it is very personal. It is like I'm just waiting for someone to say "you're great" or "you suck." LOL! I just wish they would call back and say yes or no. I will feel MUCH better then.

xbrooklyngrl · April 2010

joseysbride:

veloelle:
Yes, I have this problem. Which is why I never got my biz up and running. I think because it's so personal, kwim? You are really putting yourself out there, which adds a whole layer of the possibility of being let down. Give yourself baby goals; the more calls you make, the easier it is. Good luck!

This makes total sense. You're right; it is very personal. It is like I'm just waiting for someone to say "you're great" or "you suck." LOL! I just wish they would call back and say yes or no. I will feel MUCH better then.

Ok in this situation, I'd totally be nervous, at least at first. I HATE asking for things (like asking for a raise, I never do it)

You will do great and I think with a few more calls, you'll be a natural!

kittycarr · April 2010

I have to read the replies for suggestions myself. I have always been like this. It's like an involuntary reaction like breathing. The butterflies come, the pulse starts racing. I'm not nervous but my mind and body sure is and I have no idea why.

JOEBunny · April 2010

I have had this problem more lately, since for a variety of reasons, we have not been getting out as much. I have spoken in front of groups of 200+ managers and executives. I have addressed meetings with the CEOs of fortune 100 companies, so this is a new problem for me to. I find it is worse when I don't have as much interaction with other people in general. I really try to take advantage of opportunities to get out and about with other people, but lately because of my health, those have been limited. I find parties are especially trying, unless I know a lot of the people very well.

docmay25 · April 2010

I hate calling people on the phone. My nervousness comes more if I don't think I know what I am talking about. Like when i have to call the insurance company or something. I think it is that I am afraid they are going to ask me questions that I don't have an answer to. I try to have everything that I want to cover written down and I make sure that the kids are not around...i need a quiet room to think.

joseysbride · April 2010

Joe - That is probably true for me, too. I used to be put in these situations often, and in the last 4-5 years, not so much. I was much more out-going before I had kids and was around people all the time. Now, there if just not much time for that!

docmay - That is exactly what I did. I wrote everything down I wanted to cover, went to my car over lunch so I was alone and it was quiet. I felt fine until I was shuffled around on the phone and put on hold for 15 minutes. The longer I waited, the more nervous I got.

Thanks girls. Thank goodness it is over. Now, I just wait...

brightning · April 2010

I get super nervous talking to people on the phone, much moreso than in person. I always jot down some keywords and even my phone number (because far too many times I've completely frozen and haven't remembered it when I've been asked for it).

belle204 · April 2010

If it makes you feel better I talk to people all day for work and I still get nervous. Large groups not so much but phone calls I dread.

Angela814 · April 2010

I've always been like this. I will text people or email before I call. I just hate the phone. I hate not being able to read someone's expression. As far as coping goes, I just do what I have to do. I avoid the phone as much as possible and use it when I have to.

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Does anyone get really nervous talking to people, even on the phone?

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