Suggestions on how to get DH....

Ash_Bear · April 2010

more excited?? My mom was down for the weekend and he came baby clothes shopping with us on Saturday and he felt the baby's hic cups for the first time last night and he says that he is ecited.... but I just dont see it. Sometimes he will get online and look at names and ask me what I think and he does ask to hear the heart beat with the doppler. I brought a babies r us catalog book home last night that he didnt touch and I know we have a lot going on right now with the new house and a baby and a wedding and maybe part of it has to do with when he wants to talk to his family about it they dont seem very interested either for many reasons (his sister in law is jealous although she has 3 kids already and the youngest isnt even a year yet, his mom is mad that we arent married first.... and so on)..... but show me some kind of emotion!! Any suggestions?

lisaohgee · April 2010

Women become mothers when they find out they are pregnant. Men become fathers when the baby is born. You'll just have to wait it out.

neferhathor · April 2010

He's probably just stressed out (and maybe a little scared!) with everything that's going on. It's good that he's showing interest, but you could always just talk to him about it. You could maybe open up by expressing some fears and doubts about being a parent that you may be feeling, and he might follow suit. If that doesn't work, just give him a little time! how far along are you?

Ash_Bear · April 2010

i am almost 20 weeks (half done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) this is our first for both of us

UnderAtree · April 2010

At least he is showing some kind of interest. Like the pp said, I would just start talking to him, maybe it will help him to open up. And what I've learned from my FI is guys really don't like going baby shopping, which is probably why he hasn't opened up the book.

argonne · April 2010

Guys just don't get that caught up in the whole pregnancy tornado like women do. My DH is excited, but since it's still not as real for him as it is for me (since I'm the one with the baby inside), it's hard for him to have the same level of excitement. Also, as far as shopping, don't men always hate to shop?

JhawkCE · April 2010

The problem is you're expecting him to act like a girl.

They don't get excited about shopping or looking for names for the baby.

It's still very abstract to him, but I'm sure he'll be fine when the baby actually gets here.

lsanpasc · April 2010

I agree with PP -- it sounds like he IS showing interest, just in his own way (looking at baby names, wanting to hear HB). Don't stress over the catalog thing; guys just usually aren't into shopping, period. It sounds like you want him to be more verbally expressive about his excitement -- so yeah, just sit down and talk to him and pick his brain a little and you might be surprised what comes out.... fears, insecurities, but also excitement.

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erika260 · April 2010

He sounds pretty excited to me...shopping, researching names, talking with family about the pregnancy. Everyone does pregnancy/parenting their own way. The more space you give him the more he'll get involved in his own way. You've got a good one...make sure he knows it! Wink

barnwife · April 2010

You just described DH. To be fair, he's this way in everything. He's never going to be one who shows lots and lots of emotions. Expecting him to change just because we are expecting isn't fair. That being said, he knows that I appreciate it when he does show excitement about baby.

And every once in a while he surprises me. Today, I was going through some hand-me-downs from my sister. She had them divided into gender neutral, boy, and girl newborn clothes. (We are team green.) I held up a gray onesie with green short sleeves and a picture and said "A girl could totally wear this tractor onesie. You're teaching any girls we have to drive them too!"

And he managed to look dismayed and totally excited at the same time. He said, "That's not a tractor. But, yeah girls wear that too." (It was a concrete mixer. I just wasn't paying attention.) So sometimes YH just might surprise you.

Now I plan to put a pic of LO in that onesie with DH in the "daddy and me" picture frame we have.

nanabanana06 · April 2010

I think your pretty lucky... I wish my DH would do half of that. I picked out all the baby stuff, my mom and I are constantly buying things for her, he shows no real interest in the baby. However, what are you gunna do. I know he is excited, he just won't really show it until LO is out and in his arms.