Uggh! Upset about today ~ museum trip (long)

andreas4dogs · April 2010

The SEPTA organization sponsored a trip to NYC to the natural history museum. MH and I were looking forward to taking Gabe for a couple of weeks.

It was a nightmare.

The bus ride was wonderful. Gabe almost gets entranced by riding in vehicles. Forget the fact we were in a really nice chartered bus with Shrek playing ~ he was SO FOCUSED on looking out the window. It was a good start for us, though.

We have been 'transitioning' him for a few days, we are going to the museum, what we are going to do, etc. We got there early and it was NOT crowded.

As soon, as we walked inside, it was like something set him off. He began screaming / crying / tantruming. He continued to point in various directions (he does this when he wants to be somewhere else other than where he is) and after merely grabbing a bite to eat and checking out the puzzles in the children's discovery area for a few minutes, we had to leave (at least he played with the puzzle for a couple of minutes).

We walked to Central Park and he seemed ok for a bit. We took him on a rowboat which he seemed to enjoy. He likes motion and kept trying to touch the water. Of course, he then suddenly refused to sit on the bench (I have no idea why) so we ended that trip.

We thought maybe we could get him back 'on track' by having him sit in the stroller and walking fast with him (i.e. the motion). I thought maybe if we did this in the museum he would be ok (plus we both had to pee ~ sorry TMI) but WRONG. He wouldn't walk, wouldn't be held, and just seemed generally frustrated.

We strapped him into the stroller just so we could bolt and get the hec out of there.

We were on a bus with a class trip so we had to wait for the bus to leave. In the meanwhile, he just wasn't happy with anything and he is screaming, tantruming, and all the while we are getting a million stares throughout all of NYC.

I just don't know what the trigger was for the museum today. It wasn't busy or noisy (and he usually LOVES noise anyhow) so I am not sure why...

Just when I think he is 'improving', too.

Oh and I forgot to mention he kept requesting 'bus' (in what language he does have) so he was definitely overly focused on that ~ but in the morning, when we were waiting to get off the bus, he was anxious to get off of it.

Crazycrustacean · April 2010

I'm sorry it wasn't a better day. Could it have been that when you first walk in there's a lot to look at & see? The big dinosaur bones, through the doorway... all the elephants, etc.

andreas4dogs · April 2010

Crazycrustacean:
I'm sorry it wasn't a better day. Could it have been that when you first walk in there's a lot to look at & see? The big dinosaur bones, through the doorway... all the elephants, etc.

Hmm, interesting. There aren't really any 'exhibits' when you first walk in, but maybe the large space is just overwhelming.

bigapplebride · April 2010

I apologize for not knowing your son's dx but is he on the spectrum? I'm just assuming he is based on what you said in your post but if I am wrong feel free to tell me to STFU Wink

First of all (((HUGS))) to you for trying something new, and taking your son out in an attempt to have a nice afternoon.

My DD is on the spectrum and she's 5 now. I could tell you a million stories just like the one you posted but with slight variations.

Going on (first time) outings is such a learning experience. You don't want to let autism "paralyze" your lifestyle, but you also want to set yourself up for as much success as possible.

Now that you know Gabe is particularly intrigued by riding the bus, you might want to de-sensitize him a little to the experience. Are you working with a behavioral therapist? Maybe you guys could start taking little bus trips around town and figuring out ways to transition him smoothly off the bus.

My daughter responds well to counting down from 10.

For example, when she was 2.5 years old, I could barely go to the store with her because she was OBSESSED with the shopping cart. We would finish our shopping and she would throw the mother of all tantrums when it was time to get back in the car. My ABA therapist then came with us several times and we would buy a few things, explain to DD that we were paying and about to leave and as we got closer to the car we would say, "OK we are almost at the car, in 10 seconds we'll be there and when you get buckeled in, you can have some Fritos (reinforcer). 10, 9, 8,7...."

We worked on this for a few weeks and she really started to get it! I can get her in and out of the cart with no problem now.

I'm not saying this exact strategy will work for Gabe, but your behaviorist should be able to come up with some kind of plan.

I wonder if your son was upset about being in the museum or about NOT being on the bus. You'll have to see if he reacts in a similar way when you go to other unfamiliar locations.

The museum may have been overwhelming, or he may have been really anxious about getting off of that bus ride he enjoyed so much.

I'm sorry your trip didn't go as planned. It was gorgeous weather here today and I'm sure you were looking forward to a nice day.

bugmommy · April 2010

I too have been there more times than I can count. My first guess was that transitioning from the bus to the museum is the bigger issue, but then again, my DS hates new places. It has gotten better, but if there is any other trigger along with a new place (he falls, crowds, someone touches him, etc.) it can ruin a trip. Does he mind "big" buildings? Large atriums used to bother DS as well (might have been the echo).

I will say that I didn't do anything for a long time that required longish trips. That just made the outing too much for my little guy in totality. I also used to not do anything where I couldn't leave when I wanted/needed too. Again, that has now gotten better and is much less of an issue.

Maybe none of that applies to you, but either way I know how discouraging it can be. I had to start approaching all outings like these with the idea that we lasted even a few minutes it was a success. It has improved soooo much and I really think its because we just keep working at it. So try to think of today as a victory. Maybe next time you'll eat lunch, play puzzles and see one exhibit. Baby steps.

andreas4dogs · April 2010

bigapplebride:
I apologize for not knowing your son's dx but is he on the spectrum? I'm just assuming he is based on what you said in your post but if I am wrong feel free to tell me to STFU

First of all (((HUGS))) to you for trying something new, and taking your son out in an attempt to have a nice afternoon.

My DD is on the spectrum and she's 5 now. I could tell you a million stories just like the one you posted but with slight variations.

Going on (first time) outings is such a learning experience. You don't want to let autism "paralyze" your lifestyle, but you also want to set yourself up for as much success as possible.

Now that you know Gabe is particularly intrigued by riding the bus, you might want to de-sensitize him a little to the experience. Are you working with a behavioral therapist? Maybe you guys could start taking little bus trips around town and figuring out ways to transition him smoothly off the bus.

My daughter responds well to counting down from 10.

For example, when she was 2.5 years old, I could barely go to the store with her because she was OBSESSED with the shopping cart. We would finish our shopping and she would throw the mother of all tantrums when it was time to get back in the car. My ABA therapist then came with us several times and we would buy a few things, explain to DD that we were paying and about to leave and as we got closer to the car we would say, "OK we are almost at the car, in 10 seconds we'll be there and when you get buckeled in, you can have some Fritos (reinforcer). 10, 9, 8,7...."

We worked on this for a few weeks and she really started to get it! I can get her in and out of the cart with no problem now.

I'm not saying this exact strategy will work for Gabe, but your behaviorist should be able to come up with some kind of plan.

I wonder if your son was upset about being in the museum or about NOT being on the bus. You'll have to see if he reacts in a similar way when you go to other unfamiliar locations.

The museum may have been overwhelming, or he may have been really anxious about getting off of that bus ride he enjoyed so much.

I'm sorry your trip didn't go as planned. It was gorgeous weather here today and I'm sure you were looking forward to a nice day.

Yes, he is on the autism spectrum ~ PDD NOS. Good call! He is considered 'mild' but times like yesterday 'mild' doesn't exactly help! I think people who don't have kids on the spectrum, or don't 'understand' don't get that just because he makes eye contact and smiles doesn't mean that he is 'fine' and 'typically developing.' I am sure I am preaching to the choir here!

The shopping cart incident with your DD sounds familiar. My son has an extreme fascination with straps ~ PARTICULARLY in high chairs or shopping carts.

We have actually done exactly what you recommended ~ we started that with him in Early Intervention. I think it is a crapshoot whether it works or not...it depends on the situation. It worked when he would play outside and we had to come inside. We had to do what you mentioned for several weeks and eventually he stopped throwing tantrums for hours after we came instead.

Maybe I should have mentioned on the bus more about what we were going to do.

The poster below said something about her son not liking large atriums ~ and I wonder if that might be it ~ too much open space.

Oh and I definitely still want to try and do things with Gabe ~ even thought it is tougher. I am not going to stay locked in the house and do nothing merely because it is more difficult to go out.

andreas4dogs · April 2010

bugmommy ~ He did do alright for a few minutes in the Children's Discovery area. I think the screaming / tantruming just overshadows that, unfortunately. I do see your point and I try to be positive!

breezy0629 · April 2010

How old is Gabe again?

Crazycrustacean · April 2010

andreas4dogs:
Crazycrustacean:
I'm sorry it wasn't a better day. Could it have been that when you first walk in there's a lot to look at & see? The big dinosaur bones, through the doorway... all the elephants, etc.
Hmm, interesting. There aren't really any 'exhibits' when you first walk in, but maybe the large space is just overwhelming.

Hmm.... what entrance did you go into? We always go in the main entrance & it's very overwhelming even to me. I would guess it could've been the open spaces. Especially since he seemed uncomfy with the boat too. Ya know? Obviously I have no experience with this, but.....

andreas4dogs · April 2010

Thanks, Auntie. I always appreciate your input. In retrospect, it was a bad idea. I thought we would be walking around 'as a group' (which Gabe seems to do better with) but we all ended up doing our own thing. Yes, it was a long day and you make a lot of good points ~ i.e. bolting if we need to!

andreas4dogs · April 2010

Crazycrustacean:
andreas4dogs:
Crazycrustacean:
I'm sorry it wasn't a better day. Could it have been that when you first walk in there's a lot to look at & see? The big dinosaur bones, through the doorway... all the elephants, etc.
Hmm, interesting. There aren't really any 'exhibits' when you first walk in, but maybe the large space is just overwhelming.
Hmm.... what entrance did you go into? We always go in the main entrance & it's very overwhelming even to me. I would guess it could've been the open spaces. Especially since he seemed uncomfy with the boat too. Ya know? Obviously I have no experience with this, but.....

We went in the entrance where you buy the tickets (that are right to the right). Does that sound familiar?

Cutemin · April 2010

I know with my son, when we take trips to some place new, especially if it is a long car ride, the trip itself is overwhelming. Forget doing anything once we arrive. Any place that is more than an hour or two drive, we plan a significant amount of 'down time' to adjust. Otherwise, MELTDOWN! The kind that takes a day or two to get over. Maybe something to keep in mind for the future? Also, when entering large, overwhelming places, it can take us sometimes an hour to make it in the door! Drives my DH nutz. But I try to find the closest spot where LO feels some level of comfort and hang out there. Talk about our plans, create a short term schedule and just go from there. Sometimes we are able to get over it, sometimes we end up leaving. Either way, it is a learning experience for us both.

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Uggh! Upset about today ~ museum trip (long)

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