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I think I'm jealous

JLSBWGJLSBWG member
in Parenting after 35

Two former coworkers of mine are pregnant with their 2nd child.  One of whom, we have remained good friends.  I am very happy for her, truly I am.  She had a difficult time getting pregnant the first time, had to have fertility treatments and then was blessed with a beautiful little girl, who is now 18 months old.  This time, she got pregnant on her own and right away.  My situation is that my DH doesn't want to have another child.  We have both been on the fence, but I really think that if DH was game, I would be too.  So, I guess I am sad.  I suppose he could change his mind, but I don't think so.  To boot, everyone is asking me if I am going to have another child.  It's getting to be an uncomfortable situation and I don't know how to answer the question, when asked.  Thanks for letting me vent. 

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Re: I think I'm jealous

  • steverstever member

    I think I'd be jealous too.

     

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  • BrideBuddiesBrideBuddies member

    My mamma always said, "Count the blessings you have, not the ones you wish you had."  Mamma was smart.

    Your daughter is stunning.

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  • DaisiesinmygardenDaisiesinmygarden member
    I'd be a little sad/jealous also. I know I thought I wasn't going to get to have another baby until just before we got pregnant with Maddie. I was dealing, but it made me sad and a little jealous of ladies who got to hae babies until they felt they were done Embarrassed. No matter how often I heard "well, you already have kids/your family", it still stung that my family didn't feel complete. I still feel I'm not *done* and am hoping for "just one more".
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  • iluvtomiluvtom member
    It's a tough feeling and we struggle everyday, the sad thing is the cost of daycare is what is keeping us on the fence..GL
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  • robynlesleyrobynlesley member

    I somewhat understand ... while I know it's the right choice for our family to have Aaron be an only, there are days when I'm envious of those who are adding to their family.

    That being said, having only one doesn't mean your (or my) family is incomplete or that our LO's will be lacking in some way.  My hopes are that because my DS will be an only that my DH and I will be able to better ourselves and, thus, enrich our child's life.

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  • JenniferTCUJenniferTCU member

    Ah I know what you mean. I am jealous of everyone younger than me because I really want another child but am too scared to do it. :(

    I am sure you two will make the right decision for your family. My thoughts are with you- none of this is easy- that's for sure.

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  • indianasunshineindianasunshine member
    I'd be jealous too.
    Image by TinyPic Me 43, DH 49 Married November 3, 2007 TTC #1 since November 2007 First RE appointment May 13, HSG 5/17- tubes are clear, SA - very good, FSH 6.8, rubella immunity, saline sonogram 7/2 - uterine polyps, hysteroscopy date FINALLY 9/4! Blood pressure and thyroid are under control! Come on BFP!!!! My Blog IUI#1 1/14 , AF=BFN 1/28, IUI #2 3/9, AF=BFN 3/20 Cycle 20 IVF #1 = BFP!!! Beta #1- 196 Beta #2- 784 Egg retrieval 5/1 - 11 eggs! Update 5/2 - 9 mature, 7 fertilized! Embryo transfer 5/6 - transferred 2 beautiful blasts and have one snowbaby Induction scheduled for 01/11/10 - 38 weeks, 1 day April 3, 2012 FET with snowbaby (identical twins) BFN and a big broken heart Moving on to DE Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker8/2012-Donor chosen! 9/2012-12/2012-Donor passed all testing, off BC pills, waiting to complete 2 full cycles. 12/16/2012-cannot move forward with donor, cycles not regulating. 12/17-New proven donor 1/11- started Lupron on our baby boy's 3rd birthday 
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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member
    I understand. We are "one & done", but that doesn't keep me from being a bit sad. We have good reasons to be done--we had to do IVF to get pregnant, I never felt good, I ended up with the most severe form of pre-eclampsia, had awful PPD--all in addition to being AMA. i love Grant and am thankful for him. But, in my dreams, I always saw two kids. For a very long time, I didn't think my dream of a husband and family would come true. . . so, in many ways, I have more than I thought I would. So, while I know I am blessed, a small part of me grieves for what will not be. So, my advice would be to process your feelings, feel them, but live for today & enjoy what you have. (((hugs)))
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  • Libby33Libby33

    I'm so sorry. If it gives you any hope, my DH made it VERY clear to me that he was done at one -- so much so that I gave away all of my maternity clothes and baby stuff. I was resentful and sad, but finally came to terms with it and accepted that our DD made our family complete.

    A couple of months later, he "pulled the goalie" and I ended up pregnant. I don't know if it was me stopping pressuring him or what. Anyway, your DH may change his mind when your LO is a little older. 

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  • DaisiesinmygardenDaisiesinmygarden member
    imagerobynlesley:

    That being said, having only one doesn't mean your (or my) family is incomplete or that our LO's will be lacking in some way. 

    I definately think this is an individual thing. I think a person can feel just as *done* and enjoy thier completed family with one child as another person does with an SUV full of kids.  Some people don't feel the need or want children and their families are also just as complete.

    There definately are advantages with both paths and it can be so hard to choose, esp. with the pressure of age looming over our heads.

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  • PeskyPesky member
    Left Hug  It's tough when you aren't 100% feeling like you are done.  Your son is adorable!


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  • dianah36dianah36
    I think I'd feel the exact same way.
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