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Upstate NY Babies
WWYD?
My Mom and I were talking about her plans to come up to visit when/after the baby is born. ?She said that she'd leave the timing up to use because she doesn't want to impose on our time/space. ?I'm not sure what to tell her to do....
Option #1:?DH is a teacher so he's off for the summer. ?He'll go back to work after Labor Day. ?Baby is due August 17th. ?Part of me thinks that having her here with me when he goes back to work would be helpful. ?However- I'm thinking that flights will be more expensive around Labor Day weekend. ?
Option #2: ?I do not have much family in the area and I think it might be nice to have my Mom here to visit while we're in the hospital (and to take care of our dog!!). ?If my Mom is not here to drive my Grandma to visit us, my Gram won't be able to visit in the hospital either. ?If Mom didn't come up then it would leave me with just my inlaws visiting (and I don't get along with my inlaws). ?Also, how could we possibly know when the baby is going to make his grand appearance!?! ?She'd have to book a flight and just hope that she makes it for the birth. ??
Option #3: ?insert any other ideas here!
Thanks, everyone!?
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Re: WWYD?
Hmm. That's a toughy.. SInce she has to book a flight.. I guess option 1 makes the most sense.. but the softy part of me thinks that I couldn't possibly wait 3 weeks for my mom to meet my baby! I don't think I would have wanted my mom staying WITH me though when I got home from the hospital.. So on that end.. waiting til your DH goes back to work would probably be best.. You'll like having your own family time with just you and DH.. And its so nice you'll have him home for a few weeks.
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
In my head I feel like this makes the most sense- just for her to wait a bit to come here. ?My heart feels like I'm going to want my Mom to be at the hospital to meet the baby. ?She can stay with my Gram so she won't have to stay *with* us in the beginning. ?The other thing is that my evil MIL has made comments about my Mom not be "there" because she's in FL and I'm worried about judgment from that side of the family. ?(And yes, I know this shouldn't matter but it'll get thrown into our faces for the rest of our lives by her! haha!) ??
I LOVED my mom being at my house after the baby was born. She cooked and cleaned and took the baby when DH and I were tired. It was so nice to relax, rest and have nice, home cooked meals. DH wasn't running ragged trying to keep up with the house stuff while I was tied down nursing.
So if your mom is the type to come and take care of you and your DH - then I would want her there for sure. If she doesn't get her hands dirty and would be more like a guest visiting...then I wouldn't want her staying...because the last thing you're gonna want it to have to take care of another person. The first couple of weeks are pretty tough : )
She is definitely the person who will take care of us, the house, laundry, etc. ?My Mom never sits still! ?DH and I were talking about this and he suggested telling her to book a flight for around August 21st- that way if the baby is late she'll be here for the birth and if he's on-time or early she'll get to see him fairly quickly. ?We may end up doing that...?
I guess I'm #3 - I found that having my MIL, then my mom stay with us when we first got home the biggest help. It was so overwhelming for me - between the hormones, getting over the c/s and the complications I had after his birth, it was great to have them there to lean on. By the time that first week was over, I was feeling a little stronger both mentally and physically to go it on my own.
Other option would be #1 - it is kind of nice to have someone around to help once dh goes back to work.
We don't have family here either. My mom and dad came up the day after E was born. They stayed with us. The first night was super stressful for me. My mom and I got in a fight, Dh yelled at my mom , we both cried. The next day was better. My mom and dad cooked and cleaned my house. My sister and BIL also came and stayed with us that weekend. My mom ended up coming back up 2 weeks later which I loved. We got out of the house, went shopping, planned my sisters shower, she cooked for me.
It's hard not having anyone visit in the hospital. I would want my mom there when the baby is born. You could try to have her come a few days before you are due. Are there any airlines that don't chage huge fees for switching flights? How long is she staying?
I'm not sure about which airlines wouldn't charge fees for switching the flights; I'll have to look into that. ?She doesn't work so her plans are pretty flexible. ? I'm thinking she'll stay at least 10 days or so- but she doesn't have to stay just with us....my Gram lives 15 minutes away and she'd appreciate my Mom staying with her too. ?