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Would you punish for this or am I overreacting?

WhiteOrchid.WhiteOrchid.
in Parenting

Before I ask what you would do, I'll go ahead and say that I did not punish DD for this, but I did tell her that I was very disappointed in her.

DD had her ballet recital earlier this afternoon. She's been asking for roses for a while now, so I went out this morning and bought a dozen roses to give her after the recital. She was very excited to get them and insisted on holding them all the way home. Once we got home, I got out a vase and she helped me put them in it. She decided that she wanted to put the vase on the coffee table in the living room.

After we all got settled in, I started cooking since we're having company for dinner tonight. DD came in the kitchen a few times and thanked me for the roses and told me she was smelling them and enjoying them. I just came in the living room to find all her roses beheaded. She snapped every single one off at the base of the head, so I can't even put them in water. I started to put her in time out, but I didn't because they were her roses. Part of me is pissed though that she would destroy something that we gave her. So, WWYD?

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Re: Would you punish for this or am I overreacting?

  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    Your DD is a bit older than mine, but my DD is obsessed with flowers.  She spends hours each day working on her "flower garden".  This currently consist mostly of picking flowers and "planting" them in mulch she digs in the yard.  She has a real flower garden that she works on with her dad that she started last year.  It has veggies and some perinnials and DH will add to it over the summer.  All that said, despite extended exposure to flowers, including asking to take her rosemary bush and camilia in for show and tell, she is still pretty hard on the actual flowers.  I would not punish her for what she did.  Just let her suffer the natural consequence of having the flowers get thrown in the trash.  Next time, I would pick some wild flowers or yard flowers and put a bow on them.  She won't know the difference, and she will eventually learn "proper flower care".  In the mean time, she will gather an understanding of the components of the flower as she makes a big mess.  I am amazed at DD's imagination when it comes to flowers.  She can have them be people, presents, food for worms, buy/sell them in her "store", ect.  She planted an entire big red tomato one day.  It was pretty funny. 
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  • WhiteOrchid.WhiteOrchid.
    imagePMQ:

    I honestly would expect something like that from a 4 y/o and would not punish. I wouldn't expect a  4 y/o to treat roses the way a 40 y/o would, KWIM?

    Why do you tihnk she did that? Did you ask her? If she was just being "evil" and purposefully destroying something just for the sake of destroying it that's one thing, but my guess is that she had a perfectly logical reason for doing it....logical to a 4 y/o, that is!

     

    She said she was "decorating" them to make them prettier. Dh agreed that I did the right thing by not punishing her. You ladies are right, though. I shouldn't expect her to be easy on them. She loves flowers, but I definitely have to keep an eye on her outside; otherwise, my rose bushes would be totally bare.

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  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
    imageWhiteOrchid.:
    imagePMQ:

    I honestly would expect something like that from a 4 y/o and would not punish. I wouldn't expect a  4 y/o to treat roses the way a 40 y/o would, KWIM?

    Why do you tihnk she did that? Did you ask her? If she was just being "evil" and purposefully destroying something just for the sake of destroying it that's one thing, but my guess is that she had a perfectly logical reason for doing it....logical to a 4 y/o, that is!

     

    She said she was "decorating" them to make them prettier. Dh agreed that I did the right thing by not punishing her. You ladies are right, though. I shouldn't expect her to be easy on them. She loves flowers, but I definitely have to keep an eye on her outside; otherwise, my rose bushes would be totally bare.

    You did what i would have done. I would have been totally irritated by it, but DD would have "picked" them too and used them to decorate, it is just what they do at that age. Mental note buy DD's recital flowers at Sams ($5.00 for a dozen roses:)

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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin

    I wouldn't.  I would just use it as an opportunity for her to learn from her mistake.  Teh roses would go in the garbage and I wouldn't give her more flowers until she learned to be responsible for them. 

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • ClarissaDarlingClarissaDarling
    aww that's cute and I would be frustrated too, but she's 4. I would take the opportunity to teach her why we don't do that, but point out she was very smart/whatever for using her imagination. I'd be gentle and not mad. I would explain the basic workings of plants.
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  • Muffins_MomMuffins_Mom member
    I can completely see Muffin doing that. In her mind, she was probably doing something beautiful. :) I'd keep one to press and write myself a short note to keep with it so she can hear the story when she's a grown-up... and let it go. Good to know about Sam's and inexpensive roses.
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  • kertybirdkertybird member
    I would be bummed...but my daughter LOVES flowers so much that she must pick them and beheaded them all!
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