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TTC After a Loss
Texas77again
member
client vent, IF vent, FH vent, work vent, m/c vent
Texas77again
member
so yesterday one of the mw's at work told me that a client, T, said that she wondered how good of a mw i could be since i didn't have any children of my own. 
she didn't say it rude, just that she was concerned about it and my ability to help her thru childbirth.
the mw told T that one does not have to personally experience something to be able to help another thru it.
~ what about male OBs, they obviously haven't been thru it.
~ what about cancer dr's or nurses that haven't had cancer.
~ what about anesthesiologists that have never been put to sleep.
~ what about STFU, you stupid FH. i haven't had a baby because i have a fertility problem. thanks, for hurting my feelings and making me feel even more inadequate than i already do.
do you guys think that someone needs to have experienced something in order to help another?
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Re: client vent, IF vent, FH vent, work vent, m/c vent
MTHFR 2 copies of C677t mutation homozygous 2/2010
Baby A born via c-section 1/10/12 @38w3d
BFP #1 11/4/09 m/c 4w3d baby crab
BFP #2 12/4/09 m/c 9w3d baby lion
BFP #3 7/1/10 m/c 4w1d baby fish
BFP #4 5/8/11
BFP #5 8/17/12 10dpo beta 7
No, and I think that was a rude, ignorant comment. I actually prefer my male OB. I had to see a female once and thought she was much rougher and non caring than he is. So for me, that certainly doesn't apply.
The thing that really bothers me about it is she has no idea what you have been through in life and to throw a comment like that out "you don't have kids" can be very hurtful to someone who does have fertility problems.
Ugh, WTH?
THAT is the only answer she deserves. And obviously, I think she's a giant toolbag who would be LUCKY to have someone as awesome as you.
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
No I think you can be trained to help someone through it, but I do think that it is possible that someone who has experienced it for themselves might have something more to bring to the table. Maybe not, but it's a possibility. Would someone even consider that with a male OB? No, doubt it. But I see how it can come up in what you do since your clients aren't thinking about birth as a medical event and therefore might not be as focused on someone's training as a qualification. Hopefully being corrected by the midwife was enough to stop her from making giving birth a criteria.
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
I'd go with STFU, FH. You are a trained professional. I interpret for felons, but I've never committed a felony. I guess I can't be all that good at my job either. Sheesh.
FWIW, my naturopath, who is also a midwife, has never had a baby. And when/if I ever get a sticky baby, I want her to be my midwife for my pregnancy. I trust her as a professional, even though she hasn't done it herself yet.
Harper Oksana, born on her due date, January 20, 2011, and the love of my life
BFP 12/18/2009. HB 1/4/2010. NO HB 1/18/2010. D&C 1/19/2010
April 2011 IUI #1 BFN. High FSH and other issues.
May 2011 Chose to build our family through adoption
September 2011 Actively waiting for a match
11/26/11 Surprise BFP * DD born 7/23/12
Ugh - what an a$$!!!
No, you don't have to have the experience of going through labor to be a good mw. Men can't get pap-smears, and they're OB's! Some people don't think before they speak.