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Follow up to my "Confession" yesterday (about my parents and my marriage)
Hi Everyone,
I'm sorry I kind of disappeared yesterday but I had to take DS to the Dr ASAP (he is fine) because his Dr was going to be out of town the rest of the week. For those of you that don't know what I am talking about, this is in regards to the "confessions" post yesterday. I got married in August 2003 but my parents think we got married in August 2006. In fact, my parents threw us a super nice big (and very expensive) wedding (we had a little over 250 people).
Let me start by saying that I am very close to my parents. I speak to them every day (and they do not even live here in the US) and sometimes several times a day. I do not like lying to them (they even knew when I lost my virginity when I was dating DH). Anyhow, DH and I started dating in 2001 when we were both students at BCC. When DH transferred to FAU after he got his Associate's Degree, FAU messed up his papers (Immigration papers). He would have had to go back to his country to do all the paperwork from scratch and there was no guarantee they would approve the paperwork again (In fact we knew someone that went through the same thing and his paperwork was denied).We loved each other very much (in fact, I had never felt this way with anyone before) and we always knew we were going to get married after I was done with College so we decided to take the plunge. I know my parents would have not understood (We had a major fight when I told them DH and I wanted to move in together). They wanted me to graduate first because I guess they thought I wouldn't finish if I got married first. This really bugged me b/c there is no way I was going to let anyone prevent me from graduating, and my parents should have known that. In fact, I moved to Washington DC, DH stayed down here, for almost 2 years to finish my degree because I always dreamt of studying in Washington D.C. We officially got married in 2006, 3 months after I got my Bachelor's degree.
I don't regret doing what I did (Although I hate the fact that I lied to my parents) because I love DH very much and there is no way I was going to risk loosing him. I am afraid my parents will find out from somebody else. DH's parents and siblings know the truth, as well as our friends but DH's extended family (as well as his family that lives here in the US) don't know it. This is why I am debating whether I should tell them or not
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Follow up to my "Confession" yesterday (about my parents and my marriage)
I forgot to add that DH's relatives that live here in the US, did not want him to date me (and they made that REALLY clear) because we had different religions. Thank God DH's parents did not care at all. Basically, our love history is a Soap Opera, LOL
BTW, I am sorry the post is so long.
FWIW, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't tell them. I think at this point, it doesn't matter anyway and it would cause more harm than good. And I wouldn't feel guilty about it, because you did what you had to do for the right reasons.
But.... It's obvious you're really conflicted about keeping this secret and if you're not going to be able to forget and move on then you might as well get it off your chest. But definitely be prepared for the aftermath. They might be hurt that you lied to them for so long or they may not care anymore since you two have been married all this time. I think you just need to explain why you did what you did and apologize for lying - the lying part is the worst IMO.
Thank you girls! I definitely agree that the lying part is the worst.
Everybody seems to agree that I shouldn't say anything. Maybe I will just do that, I just hope they won't find out.
a wise old woman (70+) once told me:
deny, deny, deny! if they ask, CRY , CRY, CRY...then maybe they will leave you alone...
i hope you got chuckle...
LMFAO!!! hahahaha
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
IMHO - if you lied about something or did something wrong and you only want to tell them the truth after the fact, it's only to make youself feel better. You did it. Live with it. Telling them would hurt them (finding out that you lied) but relieves your guilt. And that's not fair. It's been so long (and so successful) anyway. Let it go, girlie!
Jason & Patricia 5/28/06