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SIL -- no hb at 19 weeks

Northof54Northof54 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Terrible news yesterday.

My SIL went for her 19 week ultrasound and they found the baby's hb had stopped at 17 weeks.

I can't believe this is happening to her.

I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions.

1) Why would this have happened?

She had unexplained early spotting -- but this is normal?

2) What are the options for her now? 

They hadn't discussed what to do next yesterday...... will she be able to hold her baby?

3) Should I tell my kids?  My oldest is 5 and he knew she had a baby in her belly.  They live far away and we won't see them again until July.  I am hoping he forgets she had a baby in her belly, but what if he doesn't and says something?  Should I explain it to him now?  Or say nothing?

 

Thanks girls.

Dee
DS - 40W6D - Oct 2004
DS - 41W4D - March 2007
GGG - 33W6D - July 2008
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Re: SIL -- no hb at 19 weeks

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    I'm so sorry for her loss and your loss. There may not be a reason why the heart stopped beating. Yes, spotting is normal

    She will probably have a D&C (I'm not 100% sure though)

    Yes, you should tell your kids.

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  • jerriesgirljerriesgirl
    imagemagdalina.h:

    Yes, you should tell your kids.

    I agree with this.  During my support group meeting last night, one of the women who is a preschool teacher talked about how there is a boy in her class who lost his sister.  He brings it up but the other teachers don't want to talk about it.  She felt compelled to just check up on him and ask if he wants to talk about it and then let's him. All she does is listen to him, since it's not her child.   

    Kids mourn as well. 

     

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  • bgarsonbgarson

    I am so sorry you family is going through this. My baby was born still at 22 weeks. It was and still is horrible. Here are some answers to your questions. I hope they help.

    1. Most times when a baby is born still, they cannot determine the reason. However, it can be from a cord accident, infection, genetic. I am sure there are more I can't think of them now. She will probably be given the option to do an autopsy. We chose to do one and it was horrible reading the report, but I am glad we got it done. I would have to imagine the early spotting had nothing to to with it.

    2. She will probably be give an option to be induced and deliver the baby or have a d&e. That will be a completely personal decision. I assume if she delivers the baby, she will be given the option to hold him or her.

     Again, I am so sorry that this happened. I still can't believe I am not pregnant! Feel free to PM me.

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  • Northof54Northof54 member

    thank you for everybodys responses.

    I think they have opted for an autopsy.  I haven't heard anything today, so i don't know if she will be induced or not.

     

    thank you again.

    Dee
    DS - 40W6D - Oct 2004
    DS - 41W4D - March 2007
    GGG - 33W6D - July 2008
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • Northof54Northof54 member

    I just heard from my BIL.

    I guess they're inducing her.  They started at 1:00.

    Will inducing at 19 weeks be the same as inducing at 40 weeks?  Will the labour be just as long?  Will the pain of contractions be the same? 

     

    I guess I'm just wondering what to expect :( 

     

    Dee
    DS - 40W6D - Oct 2004
    DS - 41W4D - March 2007
    GGG - 33W6D - July 2008
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • bgarsonbgarson
    The labor may take even longer than normal because she probably isn't dialated at all. The contractions will be painful, but just in the lower part of her stomach. The only good news...not that there is good news...is that the baby is so small she probably won't have to really push. I only had to push twice. I am sure they will offer her as much pain medicine that she wants, including an epidural. I'll be thinking about her.
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