3rd Trimester

If you are done having children after this one.....

Would you consider having your tubes tied if you have to have a c/s. My doctor brought this up this morning. Baby is breech, so we are already talking c/s if he does not turn. She asked how many children we wanted. I said we thought we were done at 2 kids. She then said tubal ligation is something I should discuss with my husband and bring up questions and concerns at the next appointments if in fact baby does not turn.

Even though I am 95% sure we are done (and hubby is probably 100% sure!), i just don't know. It seems so final. Heaven forbid, what if something happened? A friend of a friend did this after her second and that baby died of SIDS. I don't even want to think of that as a what if, but I just don't know if right after birth is the right time to do this. I guess I was thinking DH would have his surgery when baby's a year old after we have plenty of time to decide.

We always said 2 kids and this pregnancy has been kind of rough. But I am the 3rd of 3 and my parents waited till my siblings were 7 and 9 to have me. Who's to say we might want to do that? I don't know what we'd do for birth control though. After going on BCP after I quit nursing my son, I developed terrible, terrible migraines. I'm thinking maybe Mirena might be the way to go. That kind of scares me too. Need to do more research on that. What do you all think you are doing if you know/think you are done after this one?

Re: If you are done having children after this one.....

  • I would if I could!  I really don't want a c/s - but I am delivering at a Catholic hospital.
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  • We're pretty sure (like, 99%) that we're done after this one. Neither of us really want to do anything permanent right now though. I'm going to go back on birth control for a few years and see how we're feeling then. We're still young and I don't want to say never just yet.
  • My H is going in for a vasectomy.  It's much less invasive than the tubal ligation, assuming I don't need a c/s.  If you aren't 100% certain you're done, then I wouldn't consider getting your tubes tied.  I've heard great things about the Mirena and you can get that until you and your H make a final decision. 
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  • Even if I'm not having a c-section, I'll be getting a tubal ligation. We are both 100% certain that after this baby is born, we are done. I joke that unless there's a way for men to get pregnant, we're not having any more children!

    DH has an extreme needle and surgery phobia, so "permanent" BC is really up to me. I've already talked it over with my OB (on several occasions) and depending on what day of the week this baby is born, I'll either have my tubal the following day, or will have it done at my 6-week postpartum appointment.

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  • I would if I could. This is our first and I don't want anymore. I sure don't want to be pregnant ever again. But I heard that they don't like to do them for young people (I'm 21).
  • I'd say skip the tubal and get an IUD. It lasts for five years and is a safer bet than the pill. middle road. 
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  • We are almost certain we are done also, but do not want to do anything permanent at this point. I have friends who have Mirena and think its wonderful, so I may just go down that avenue for now.  

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  • I'll be 33 the week this baby is due. So not like I want to wait too long to have another one if I do. But I just don't think I can do it again while also caring for young children! Pregnant + SAHM to a 2-year-old + working from home PT.....whew! Not to mention everything about this pregnancy has been harder! can't imagine what a 3rd would be like.

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  • This is our third and last and I am positive that we are done. I have already discussed with my doctor having my tubes tied after delivery. I always wanted to be done by 30 and I will. Also, 3 was always my limit.

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  • We're still trying to decide! We're younger (23 and 25) and both LOVE kids, but our son has a Congenital Heart Defect, and with every pregnancy there's the possibility of a repeat (a low possibility, but the numbers are fairly low for a first CHD so we don't rely on statistics much). DS and DH both have a chromosome deletion and there's a 50% chance that could turn up in any further children as well. So far the deletion they have hasn't shown it's going to cause any issues, but it's a scary thing to think about!

    I seen an ad today at my OB's office for Implanon. I think I might ask him about it when I go back in 2 weeks.

  • i was very certain that I wanted to until recently - now im hugely undecided. its a TOUGH call to make. only you & your DH can sort it out. GL!!!
  • DH is getting a vasectomy shortly after LO is born..no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  We are both 1000000% positive that two is the max and we are FINISHED!  I'd have pushed him to do it earlier, but I did figure it's probably a wise idea to deliver this baby first, just out of caution.  But once LO is here, it's game on, he can go to the Dr. AAAAAANY time!!!!

  • DH had his vasectomy last week.

    I offered to have my tubes tied, since I'm having a c-section, but he declined.  It has always been our agreement than when we were done, he would handle the permanent birth control.

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  • Yes, we have tubal ligation on my chart now.  My OB said I can change my mind right up until the last minute, but I don't think we will.  They're cutting me open anyway and I don't want to live in fear of getting pg while waiting for DH to get a vasectomy.

  • DH has decided to have a vasectomy next summer....DD#2 will be a year old by then and that is when we're both comfortable taking permanent measures.....and he offered to take care of it, so I'm not arguing!!  I've been through enough!
  • DH will be getting a vasectomy.  It's cheaper and less invasive.  I wouldn't do anything unless i was 100% certain though.
  • I'm done after this and my tubal is already scheduled when I have my repeat c-section.
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  • I'm having a c/s, but am delivering at a Catholic hospital, so they won't perform one.  My husband is going to have the "procedure" done in about 6 months, just so we're sure we're finished.
  • I would...I hated being on the pill, and would much rather not have to worry about birth control if I knew that we were finished expanding our family.
  • We are DONE! DH had a vasectomy on March 26th. We're 33 and this is our second so we're very satisfied. I'm so glad for no more birth control!

  • imagechicagoshannon:
    DH will be getting a vasectomy.  It's cheaper and less invasive.  I wouldn't do anything unless i was 100% certain though.

    This.  We'll probably wait a year just to make sure we don't change our minds but we've always agreed that we only want one.

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  • If you are not 110% sure you are done then I would get the IUD until you decide. It will at least buy you five years.

     I thought we were done after we got our neice 2 years ago. We change dour minds and I am 34 wks pregnant. We are 10,000% sure we are done after this one though. I am getting the Essure procedure.

  • Im so uneasy about permanent b/c the what if's flood my brain when its brought up. I'd rather get the IUD for 5yrs and after that if im still unsure then i'd get the IUD again, I cant help but feel like the what if's mean that there is someone else who is supposed to be mine, ya know? My sis and bro had his  reversed and they had two amazing girls and couldnt have loved two children anymore, one of them just passed from cancer and its all I can think about now, how he would have never experienced the happiness she brought him if they didnt get the reversal...  I hope that you make the decision that is right for you and your hubby. GL!
  • I am 100% that we are done (this is #3), after #2 I thought we were done, but then I turned 35 and really wanted to have one more.  I had an IUD before, and even though I will be having a c/s, I am going to get an IUD again....mostly b/c I did not have a period for 6 yrs when I had the IUD...LOVED IT!!
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  • I am 99% sure that this will be our last (this is my first but DH's third) and right now I am totally fine with that.  I think if we were to do something permanent though it would be on DH's end.  But that also makes me a little nervous.  I think we will wait a few years then have him snipped, in the meantime I think I will get an IUD.
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  • I've been thinking the same thing.  I agree something about it just seems so final.  

     Someone once told me that if I had any doubt at all about it not to do it.  DH can always go get snipped if we feel the need to go to that level of prevention.   

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  •   I have 3 kids now and the 4th on the way and am so getting my tubes tied.  My doctor asked me if I was sure cause something can happen.  I told her that I cant replace the kids that I had and if I really wanted a baby after I get a tubal then I can adopt and be just fine with that. I am having a 3rd csection with this one and am just tired of being pregnant every 2 years.  If you are not sure then I would do the Mirena cause I have heard good things about it.  good luck with your decision. 
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