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If something happened to you and DH, who would raise LO?

marycs44marycs44
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I know most of you are going to say your parents or DH's parents. But in our case, my mom is in her mid-60s and I don't think she would want to start all over again. And although DH's parents are in their 50s... I would almost think that they would feel the same way - that they wouldn't want to start all over. But I would feel a little better them raising my DD.

So if anything were to happen to both you and DH, who would raise your LO?

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Re: If something happened to you and DH, who would raise LO?

  • laurel_howethlaurel_howeth
    My husband's sister and brother inlaw are going to raise Jack if something were to happen to us. They have very similar beliefs and lifestyles.
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  • sarajo317sarajo317
    Since you said BOTH of us.. I would guess my mom would raise her... DHs mom would try and fight for her probably.... Im pretty sure my mom would raise her...
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  • osscott4510osscott4510
    I'm not sure and I was just telling my husband we needed to decide this the other day.  He thinks I'm ridiculous...
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  • Shell24Shell24 member

    My mom will be 62 in September and as of right now would take them.  She's actually listed in our trusts as guardian.  In a few years, we're not sure.  It's not that she wouldn't want to start over, she would raise my kids in an instant if we couldn't, it would be that she feels she would be too old and not in the physical condition to take care of them, as she starts to age.  For example, when my DS is 10 she'll be almost 72...what would happen if something happened to her in that time, when my kids are still minors?

    My inlaws are about my mom's age...just a year or 2 older.  But they are the ones who wouldn't want to "start over."  My dad and stepmom live in Florida and I wouldn't even consider them. 

    Beyond my mom, we're still deciding.  I'm an only child and my DH is the 3rd of 4 boys.  We think his oldest brother and SIL would be our choice. 

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  • engleeenglee
    My parents would, without a doubt.  DH and I discussed this during our pregnancy with Ethan.  When I posed the question to him, DH responded quickly with "your parents."  I was a little shocked because I thought he would understandably want his mom to raise Ethan.  But, he was quick to point out the reasons why and honestly I'm glad I didn't have to fight him on this one...  My parents are financially more secure.  His parents are slightly younger in age but his Step-father is a registered sexual predator (!) plus they have a 5 year old son named Kyle.  Kyle is very spoiled and has their complete attention and we would feel Ethan would be second best.  DH's parents do not know this decision but I know MIL will be very upset (the whole sexual predator thing is NEVER discussed).  My parents on the other hand are very understanding of our decision.  My mom in fact is concerned with even letting LO stay with the in-laws for good reason.  I know sh*t will hit the fan when the day comes we deny MIL from watching LO at her house.  DH already promised me she can come to our house...alone...and watch him if she chooses.  Very tough situation but MIL married him.  My parents and the in-laws live within 10 minutes of us...plus the in-laws have to drive by my parents house to get to theirs.   
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  • osscott4510osscott4510

    imageenglee:
    My parents would, without a doubt.  DH and I discussed this during our pregnancy with Ethan.  When I posed the question to him, DH responded quickly with "your parents."  I was a little shocked because I thought he would understandably want his mom to raise Ethan.  But, he was quick to point out the reasons why and honestly I'm glad I didn't have to fight him on this one...  My parents are financially more secure.  His parents are slightly younger in age but his Step-father is a registered sexual predator (!) plus they have a 5 year old son named Kyle.  Kyle is very spoiled and has their complete attention and we would feel Ethan would be second best.  DH's parents do not know this decision but I know MIL will be very upset (the whole sexual predator thing is NEVER discussed).  My parents on the other hand are very understanding of our decision.  My mom in fact is concerned with even letting LO stay with the in-laws for good reason.  I know sh*t will hit the fan when the day comes we deny MIL from watching LO at her house.  DH already promised me she can come to our house...alone...and watch him if she chooses.  Very tough situation but MIL married him.  My parents and the in-laws live within 10 minutes of us...plus the in-laws have to drive by my parents house to get to theirs.   

     

    UM...WHAT???  That is nutso, I hope he doesn't think he'll be babysitting your LO anytime!

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  • FemmeNat01FemmeNat01 member

    My husband's brother and wife are going to raise the twins if anything happened to us. They are the most similiar to us in many aspects and we know that they will love and raise the twins as well as we could.

     

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  • CalMum_MommaCalMum_Momma
    I would actually be very suprised if most people responded with their parents. We have asked my brother and SIL to be DS's guardians in the event something happens to both of us. They are our age and great parents. They are family and live close to the rest of my family, and we know they would raise him the way we would like him to be raised.
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  • grapeape73grapeape73 member

    DH's brother and SIL would take the two girls.  DS would live with my ex husband.  We have had the will drawn up since DD 1 was a week old.  We also set up a trust for them. 

    The only problem we have is that they are very conservative Catholic, and we are not.  

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  • daniellefox82@yahoo.comdaniellefox82@yahoo.com
    My Sister-In-Law would raise DS.
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  • glasgow_girlglasgow_girl

    We are going to have to have a conversation about this....my family all live in Scotland, and his family have health issues.  I can not see MIL or SIL being able to care for Ella, not financially, or being able to physically.

    Then, if we were to say my sister and her husband, Ella would have to move to Scotland.  Not a big problem, because through my British citizenship, she 

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  • glasgow_girlglasgow_girl

    We are going to have to have a conversation about this....my family all live in Scotland, and his family have health issues.  I can not see MIL or SIL being able to care for Ella, not financially, or being able to physically.

    Then, if we were to say my sister and her husband, Ella would have to move to Scotland.  Not a big problem, because through my British citizenship, she  is

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  • glasgow_girlglasgow_girl

    We are going to have to have a conversation about this....my family all live in Scotland, and his family have health issues.  I can not see MIL or SIL being able to care for Ella, not financially, or being able to physically.

    Then, if we were to say my sister and her husband, Ella would have to move to Scotland.  Not a big problem, because through my British citizenship, she is automatically a British citizen. I think MIL would fight tooth and nail against it though. 

    Such a tough decision.

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  • aocain02@yahoo.comaocain02@yahoo.com member
    I'd say my parents, but if they didn't want to deal with a baby then I'd go with my sister.  She has 3 kids, the youngest is 3, so Collin could grow up with his cousins.
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  • justbdais4justbdais4
    I have to say hands down MY parents would raise LO if something happened. My IL's are the same age as my parents (late 40s) but weren't ready to have their kids and did a crappy job raising them. My husband and his youngest sister are the exception, he was raised by his grandparents and his sister thinks for herself. His brothers are complete idiots and I don't trust them to hold the baby, let alone babysit him or for that matter raise him. My sisters are options but I do not like the way my oldest sister is raising her kids, mostly they get pawned off to other people (daycare, her inlaws). And the punishment she handed out when my nephew was in kindergarten was not cool (grounded from EVERYTHING for at least 3 weeks)---he was 6! and what he did was not bad just typical boy/kid stuff. My little sister isn't old enough or very well set in her life at the moment but it could change when she gets older. I do know that my parents will fight anybody who tries to take LO.
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  • engleeenglee
    imageosscott4510:

    imageenglee:
    My parents would, without a doubt.  DH and I discussed this during our pregnancy with Ethan.  When I posed the question to him, DH responded quickly with "your parents."  I was a little shocked because I thought he would understandably want his mom to raise Ethan.  But, he was quick to point out the reasons why and honestly I'm glad I didn't have to fight him on this one...  My parents are financially more secure.  His parents are slightly younger in age but his Step-father is a registered sexual predator (!) plus they have a 5 year old son named Kyle.  Kyle is very spoiled and has their complete attention and we would feel Ethan would be second best.  DH's parents do not know this decision but I know MIL will be very upset (the whole sexual predator thing is NEVER discussed).  My parents on the other hand are very understanding of our decision.  My mom in fact is concerned with even letting LO stay with the in-laws for good reason.  I know sh*t will hit the fan when the day comes we deny MIL from watching LO at her house.  DH already promised me she can come to our house...alone...and watch him if she chooses.  Very tough situation but MIL married him.  My parents and the in-laws live within 10 minutes of us...plus the in-laws have to drive by my parents house to get to theirs.   

     

    UM...WHAT???  That is nutso, I hope he doesn't think he'll be babysitting your LO anytime!

     

    No kidding...it is very sore subject for me.  I really hope MIL didn't know that prior to marrying him because that is ridiculous if she did and still went through with it. 

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  • AnotherChanceAnotherChance

    We haven't decided for sure yet, but I'm leaning towards my father and my stepmom.  My dad is younger than my ILs and my stepmom is 15 years younger than him.  They are in better health than my ILs and also in better shape financially. 

    We've also thought about one of DH's siblings, but we have some differences with them in parenting styles, so not sure about that...plus none of them are in good financial shape. 

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  • Shana051008Shana051008 member
    My sister and her fiance!  She is an excellent mother to my 2 year old niece!  We both trust her completely and I will do the same for her, if anything happens me and DH would help with Aubry!
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  • mindmind
    My oldest sister and BIL.  Our parents are like everyone else has said just will be too old and not in the best of help. My other sis and his sister are just not able to due life styles and parenting styles.
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