throwing a baby shower for myself?

rcp126 · October 2008

Without getting too complicated and sounding selfish, how tacky is it to throw a baby shower for yourself. To make a long story short, my mother in law will be at their winter home until a week before the baby is due. My sister just had her third (oops child) 7 months ago. Even though this is her third one and she had a baby shower for her first, I know my mom will feel guilty throwing me a shower since it's been seven years since my sister had a baby and she didn't have another shower for her. We are expecting our first, have absolutely nothing and could really use a shower. My mom and MIL are the only two people I know who would have given me a shower, so is it horrible for me to throw my own baby shower and if not what other solutions are there? Thanks for your help.

KariChadDora · October 2008

Yes, I do think it would be weird to throw your own shower. Perhaps just create a registry and if people ask when your shower is, because they will ask, tell them that to your knowledge you don't think you are having one. They will likely then ask you if you are registered somewhere and perhaps buy something for you when the baby is born.

JARbaby · October 2008

VERY tacky.

Have them throw a meet the baby party.

You should be prepared to provide 100% for you child, shower or not some just get novelty clothing as gifs and nothing they need, so do not rely on that!

ghbride · October 2008

Why dont you just have the shower a week before (when MIL is home) the baby arrives....They are rarely on time anyways!!

I wouldnt throw one myself personally.., do you have a really good friend who could send the invitations and help you organize if your MIL is unable...

alli&pat · October 2008

it is extremely tacky to throw your own shower. thats like begging people to buy stuff for you. i would create a registry and if people ask if there are particular things you need, you can point them to the registry. otherwise, it is your responsibility to provide for your child so i'd start saving now.

i will add, you never know who may offer to throw you a shower. i definitely don't think its only limited to your mom and MIL as options.

freeburger16 · October 2008

I wouldn't do it - thats just shameless gift begging. Start saving now for the big items, and just get what you can afford. IKEA sells cribs with a decent rating for cheap, as well as other furniture.

Really though, a baby just needs a place to sleep and a nourishment/clothing for a while. No need to spend a ton of money if you can't, and definitely no need to make others feel obligated to provide it all for you.

chrislynd · October 2008

Totally tacky.

DNK777 · October 2008

I wouldn't. I think it is tacky. I don't get why your mom would feel guilty throwing one for you. I think it's tacky to throw showers for 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc. children under most circumstances. Your sister had one for her first, so I don't see why your mother would feel guilty for throwing you one. What about friends, extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.)?

Amy Drinkwater · October 2008

Why would your mom feel guilty throwing a shower for your first baby when your sister got one for her first? ?That is the way it's supposed to be, you're only supposed to have one shower. ?And it's usually thrown by someone who's not a member of your family anyway.?

Mitzie · October 2008

you can't do it... someone will throw you a shower. don't worry.

mrs_kelly1014 · October 2008

Throwing a shower for yourself is very tacky. Don't do it!

Crissy&Josh · October 2008

I wouldn't worry about this yet. It seems quite silly to me that your mom would feel quilty throwing you a shower just because your sister has 3 kids and did not recently have a shower. I think ultimately, someone will step up and make sure you have a shower. Having one on your own is going to get negative feedback and cause hard feelings if someone planned to do it for you.

D-lightful · October 2008

Why don't you talk to your sister and ask her to throw it for you? if you are close, it won't be tacky to ask her to host if for you.

also you mom shouldn't feel guilty. Most people only get a shower for the 1st. Did she tell you she couldn't throw you one? It seems REALLY unfair.

ArcticFox · October 2008

One of my in-laws FORCED me to have a shower, and then didn't do a darn thing. My husband's cousin filled out the invites, but the shower was at my house. Otherwise I would have had to have it an HOUR from my house at this in-laws place. At 7+ mos preg, I certainly wasn't driving an hour, and I certainly wasn't going to make all my friends drive an hour. I took care of the cleaning, decorating, food, and even the favors.

So not quite the same situation, but I basically threw my own shower except for someone else filling out the invites and taking RSVPs, and I think a few people brought a dish (like meatballs).

I don't think it's social etiquette to throw your own shower, since I think you're also supposed to have in-laws throw it. I'm sure friends would help out? Honestly it was nice having it at my house even though it almost killed me (all the work), because then I was home and the gifts were there (instead of having to haul that stuff home).

CeciliaJ · October 2008

I've always thought that it is not proper etiquitte for family to throw the shower. Friends do it.

https://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=8319014

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