Adoption

and just like that it's over.

I just got a call from our agency, the birth mother got mad at the agency (bc they put a limit on what they would give her financially) and she left and found a new attorney and a new family.

I am so sad.  I know in the end the baby that comes to our family will be the right one, but right now some other family is getting excited about OUR baby.... at least that's how it feels.

Ugh.

The good news is they have 2 moms to show our profile to next week who they think would be a good match, one due the same time and the other a month later.  

But it's hard to get excited about anything when this is the second failed match we've had (plus the agency that lost its license).

I have a meeting today and a photo shoot and all I want to do is cry :(  The worst part is I can't even call DH and tell him bc he is at work and I don't think it would be fair to tell him at work...

Sorry ladies I just needed to be sad with someone who would understand.

Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: and just like that it's over.

  • Oh girlie I am so sorry! I cannot imagine what you are feeling right now.  I hope that everything pans out with you guys and one of the Moms next week. 

    HUGS

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  • Oh I'm so sorry to hear this! You have been on such a roller coaster ride these past few years. I will be praying for you and your family.
  • That totally stinks!

    I'm so sorry - hopefully your baby will find you soon.

    TTC since May 2006. After 3 failed Clomid cycles, 2 failed Injectibles/IUIs, 2 failed IVFs and 1 failed FET, we moved on to adoption! 

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    Last ditch FET resulted in BFP, and identical twin girls!

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  • I am so, so, sorry :( 

    (((Big Hugs)))

  • UGH!!! I am so sorry.
  • I am so sorry! Don't know what else to say...   (((HUGS)))
    After THREE years, our IVF miracle is here!!!
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  • oh, no - I am so sorry to hear this.  I know it sounds Cliche - but your baby is out there.

    {{hugs}} to you

  • I'm so sorry, what an awful position to be in:( 

    Thoughts and prayers to make it through the rest of your day until your DH comes home...that's got to be the hardest not to call him crying!

  • Oh no.  I am so, so sorry.  I can't even imagine how crappy that must feel :(
  • Rach, I'm soooo sorry. That is just terrible. My hears is breaking for you and your family. Your faith is strong- you guys will get through this, the door is now open for your baby to come into your life. Prayers are with you.
    Our Journey from two to three! 3 IUI's, 2 IVF's, decided to move to foster/adopt. 12/24/2009 Baby C born, 2/1/2010 placed with us, 5/17/2011 Adoption final- we are finally a forever family! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ((hugs)) I'm so sorry.
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
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  • I'm so sorry. That must be awful and discouraging. Hopefully something works out next week.
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  • I am so sorry, it just doesn't seem fair. ::hugs::
  • I'm so sorry!  I do know how you feel because almost the same thing happened to us.  Our BM had our 1-800 number and started calling us telling us she needed more money and if she didn't get it she was going to drop us and go find someone else.  DH and I discussed it and called the agency and ended the match.  We had a contract and she got so much money a month and she wanted more.  Apparently, the agency knew she had done this before and kept it from us or we would never have agreed to the match.

    We found out later, she did the same thing to 3 other families until she gave birth and the last family she talked to got the baby.  I know that baby wasn't meant for us and I know we got our happy ending, but it still hurt knowing there are people like this who are just plain scum.  A baby is not a bargaining chip and adoptive parents shouldn't be played like that.  Sorry you're going through this.  Your baby is out there though and it'll happen in God's time. 

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  • I'm SO sorry - you guys have had such a tough time of it. I was SO excited for you all. Hoping your baby finds his way to you soon!
    Unexplained. IVF#2 worked! Beta at 10dp6dt = 154, Beta at 13dp6dt = 603 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry, but it sounds like this is the way it's meant to be for you. At least you found out now and not later on after the match. I hope I don't offend, but I try to find the good in every situation. ;) 
  • Hi MayDay.  I'm so sorry.  What a rough day for you guys.  You're right - your baby will find you and that will be the right baby - but it's not easy to deal with right now.  I'm glad that your profile is being shown again so quickly and to two different mothers - that's wonderful. 

    Hope you are doing okay...huge hugs.

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  • I'm so sorry.  All I keep hearing is that when you hold your child, you will know this is the child you were meant to have!  I believe that!  I'm glad you have good news also, but the sad stuff always hurts so much!
    TTC #1 since 12/07 SA 9/08=borderline normal HSG 1/09 found R tube blocked Multiple IUIs both with oral and injectible drugs from 2/09-2/11 Started domestic adoption process in 5/10, homestudy complete 9/10 Failed adoption after home with baby for 2 weeks 11/10 Blessed through the miracle of private adoption with a son, born 6/6/11 (his grandma's bday) 7lbs 9oz 20.5 inches long! So worth the wait!
  • Oh honey...  I'm so sorry to hear this.  I can't imagine how you're feeling right now, except like the rug just got totally pulled out from under you.  I'm praying for your family.
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  • Sucky. I'm sorry Rachel. Sending postive thoughts and prayers your way.

     Can I ask which agency/facilitator you are using in Chicago? I know you are from MN and moved, but are you going though IL or MN?

  • Huge hugs and many prayers
  • i'm so very sorry, rachel!... (((HUGS)))
    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
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  • Oh I am so sorry.  T&Ps to you and your family and glad your profile will be seen next week.
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  • hugs, honey. You, Joey, Bright and your next child are in my prayers
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  • OH no!!!!!!!  I'm so sorry, how horrible!! 

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  • This is really lousy. I am so sorry.
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  • Oh no!  I'm so sorry!
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  • I am so so sorry, I can't imagine how you're feeling. It won't always be bad though that I can promise you...((BIG HUG))
  • that's terrible. I'm sorry.  :(
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  • I'm so sorry Rachel. I hope you're feeling a little better today. I can't imagine what a hard blow that was yesterday. :(
  • {{hugs}}  I am so sorry that happened to you and your family.
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  • OMG Rach I am so sorry!  (((((hugs))))) 
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