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When do babies "learn" manipulation?

pregali80pregali80 member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I know that sounds like a firey title but my mom lit a match-she joked with me that my son has learned to manipulate me.

He cries in the other room while paying in the Jumperoo and so I go see him (1 room away). He stops fussing at the Jumperoo lion, looks at me and smiles.

I think he's just happy to see me. But then again there's been time he's been crying and he smiles when he sees me. If I wonder she might be right. Please tell me she is wrong -he's ony 6 months old and is far too young to learn to manipulate Smile

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Re: When do babies "learn" manipulation?

  • krstokeskrstokes

    Not sure I consider that manipulation as much as reassurance. LO is happy to see you too :P.

    Babies can go through separation anxiety and may need/ want to see their parent or care giver more frequently. Take advantage of LO being this way. They don't stay like this forever. :(

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  • Ana RameyAna Ramey
    I am pretty sure my DS has learned it. Little sucker!
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  • DEBBIE33CASEYDEBBIE33CASEY
    Pretty sure DD can :) but she's older than your LO.  But I can't remember what things were like 6 months ago!
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  • MommaD2BeMommaD2Be

    I think we need to use a different word for it because "manipulation" has such a negative connotation. 

    But for lack of a better word, yes, I think 6-month-olds can manipulate.  They aren't being "bad," they are just learning that when they cry, happy things happen like mommy comes or I get picked up.

    It's all part of us humans being smart and learning from a young age how to "manipulate" our environment and others to ensure our survival and happiness.  Very normal, natural thing.

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  • BelleBabyBelleBaby member
    I think they're pretty good at it now!
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  • mandaphillymandaphilly member

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member
    imageMommaD2Be:

    I think we need to use a different word for it because "manipulation" has such a negative connotation. 

    But for lack of a better word, yes, I think 6-month-olds can manipulate.  They aren't being "bad," they are just learning that when they cry, happy things happen like mommy comes or I get picked up.

    It's all part of us humans being smart and learning from a young age how to "manipulate" our environment and others to ensure our survival and happiness.  Very normal, natural thing.

    I agree word for word.  I was going to post basically the same response.

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • amhoughamhough
    I agree with the PP who said manipulation isn't the right word.  They are learning cause and effect.  They cry, Mom comes back, etc.  I feel like I am always walking a fine line between making sure he has everything he needs, and not developing bad habits.  I suspect I'll be walking this tightrope for a long long time. 
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  • karelaorangekarelaorange member
    imageMommaD2Be:

    I think we need to use a different word for it because "manipulation" has such a negative connotation. 

    But for lack of a better word, yes, I think 6-month-olds can manipulate.  They aren't being "bad," they are just learning that when they cry, happy things happen like mommy comes or I get picked up.

    It's all part of us humans being smart and learning from a young age how to "manipulate" our environment and others to ensure our survival and happiness.  Very normal, natural thing.

    This.  Yes, she is probably "manipulating" you, but not in a bad way.  It's good that she knows how to get your attention.  It's good that she wants your attention.  There will come a time when it's bad, but for the time being they are just learning how to function in this world, and how to get your attention.

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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member
    imagemandaphilly:

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

    What a little stinker! :0)

    Also, welcome back!

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • amber_tynanamber_tynan member

    imageamhough:
    I agree with the PP who said manipulation isn't the right word.  They are learning cause and effect.  They cry, Mom comes back, etc.  I feel like I am always walking a fine line between making sure he has everything he needs, and not developing bad habits.  I suspect I'll be walking this tightrope for a long long time. 

    ITA with this.

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  • outnumberedoutnumbered member
    imagemandaphilly:

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

    I still do not think that is spoiled.  She has no way of communicating or moving.  Maybe if she had this ability she would crawl or walk to where she wanted to go.  Imagine the frustration of being 6 months old.  You have no control in your world.  I would cry too.. 

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  • smilelarismilelari member
    They do start to learn cause and effect.  They learn that if they cry, you will come to them.  It's just baby saying, "hey mom, I miss you and want some attention".  Personally, I don't think that's a bad thing.  I don't understand why people get so worried about being manipulated by their babies.  They are babies.  They love you and want your attention.
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  • Amber5103Amber5103 member
    In "What to Expect the First Year", it says the learn around eight months.  DH thinks DD is great at it, and I've spoiled her since she was born!
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  • CityplannerCityplanner
    imagemandaphilly:

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

    I can't see how that is a game or spoiled.  What would she rather Mia have done, sat there the whole time she was there like a potato?

    Babies can't talk.  They cry when they are unhappy.  She wanted to be held standing up, so she cried when she wasn't and stopped when she was.  That's communicating in the only way that she can.  It's up to you to decide what you can/want to give her what she wants.  That's parenting.  

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  • pregali80pregali80 member
    imageMommaD2Be:

    I think we need to use a different word for it because "manipulation" has such a negative connotation. 

    But for lack of a better word, yes, I think 6-month-olds can manipulate.  They aren't being "bad," they are just learning that when they cry, happy things happen like mommy comes or I get picked up.

    It's all part of us humans being smart and learning from a young age how to "manipulate" our environment and others to ensure our survival and happiness.  Very normal, natural thing.

    I do agree and think this is a very good way to word it. Coming from my mom's old school terms it sounded more harsh. Like I was letting my baby do something awful. 

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  • pregali80pregali80 member
    imagemandaphilly:

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

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  • pregali80pregali80 member
    imagemandaphilly:

    I don't know, a lot of women don't believe in that a baby can be spolied or learn how to manipulate at this age. But I think Mia already has the game down lol.

    I kept telling my mom that babies cannot be spolied, but she disagreed all the time. The other day Mia was crying and my mom picked her up, she stopped right away. My mom sat down with Mia in her arms and Mia started to scream again. So my mom stood up and Mia stopped immediately. My mom kept doing it over and over, sitting down, standing up, And kept telling me "And she's not spolied Amanda? Come on!"

    Our moms must be related ;)

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  • CalinsBrideCalinsBride
    When DS is crying in another room and I go to him, his relief is palpable. He gets a HUGE smile on his face and starts making happy noises and reaches for me. He definitely wasn't manipulating me, he's just happy that I'm there now. I know he isn't faking it--you can't fake giant tears.
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  • MabzieMabzie

    imageamhough:
    I agree with the PP who said manipulation isn't the right word.  They are learning cause and effect.  They cry, Mom comes back, etc.  I feel like I am always walking a fine line between making sure he has everything he needs, and not developing bad habits.  I suspect I'll be walking this tightrope for a long long time. 

    Same here. 

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