Did you/have you named your loss(es)?

KMLP · April 2010

I haven't and it's so strange when I talk about them because I just call them my first loss and my second loss. It would help to name them if I knew the sex of each baby.

leneae10 · April 2010

you could choose gender neutral names? I know it's not ideal, but it would at least help a little. I would hate not knowing, and I'm sorry you don't have those answers.

Vessel7373 · April 2010

We named him, but he was stillborn at 23 weeks so we know that he was a boy. I think it would be harder if you don't know the gender, but I've heard that it's still a good thing to do. A very good friend of mine who lost her first baby at 10 weeks gave the baby a name and picked a girl's name because she just had such strong feelings that the baby was a girl. She has told me that it was a good, healing thing to do.

jerriesgirl · April 2010

We decided on a name over lunch right before I was admitted into labor and delivery. We had just found out that morning it was a girl while at the perinatologist. I agree with the pps that it's a good idea to go ahead and name your babies even if you don't know the gender.

Zed58 · April 2010

We have not named our lil one. On one hand, I'm glad to not have a name for him/her, but you're right, it does make it difficult. On the other hand, I just feel like I didn't know my baby so I'm okay with not having a name. Obviously I didn't know boy or girl. I didn't know who's facial characteristics he/she was going to have. I didn't know what personality traits he/she was going to have. I kinda feel like since I didn't know those things that would sort of define our baby, it doesn't really matter to me that baby didn't have a name.

I don't know if that makes any sense. Until last night actually, when I'd lay in bed and ask the big guy upstairs to hold my baby in the palm of his hand, just as I did before letting him/her go, I would always say "Please hold him/her as close to your heart as I would have held him/her to mine." Last night, I decided to go ahead and order a rememberance ring with an October birthstone. October's stone is Opal, so last night I started calling baby Opal. Probably pretty lame, but I'm rolling with it.

KMLP · April 2010

Zed58:
We have not named our lil one. On one hand, I'm glad to not have a name for him/her, but you're right, it does make it difficult. On the other hand, I just feel like I didn't know my baby so I'm okay with not having a name. Obviously I didn't know boy or girl. I didn't know who's facial characteristics he/she was going to have. I didn't know what personality traits he/she was going to have. I kinda feel like since I didn't know those things that would sort of define our baby, it doesn't really matter to me that baby didn't have a name.
I don't know if that makes any sense. Until last night actually, when I'd lay in bed and ask the big guy upstairs to hold my baby in the palm of his hand, just as I did before letting him/her go, I would always say "Please hold him/her as close to your heart as I would have held him/her to mine." Last night, I decided to go ahead and order a rememberance ring with an October birthstone. October's stone is Opal, so last night I started calling baby Opal. Probably pretty lame, but I'm rolling with it.

That is sweet and not lame at all! I'm so sorry for your loss.

*Chicken* · April 2010

No, I didn't name either one of my losses.

Buckets of Moonbeams · April 2010

Yeah, but my situation was a little different.

Give them GN names. I know a lady on here who named their baby Jude because the gender was indeterminate. It's probably what I would do.

EntropicEpona · April 2010

From the beginning, we referred to our baby as "Thor", because I was so sick. It was totally like having the god of thunder rolling around in my guts.

We miscarried at 10 weeks, so never knew if it was a boy or girl, so Thor it will always be.

bradsgirl4 · April 2010

I had three miscarriages in a row with one 2 weeks ago. We named our first two, but have yet to name the third one. I think it is good closure per say.

Scout05 · April 2010

I nicknamed my babies when I first found out about each pregnancy.

FWIW, I never wanted to know the gender. Then the genetic counselor went and blabbed anyway. It has made it ten thousand times harder to process loosing Pumpkin. I think it's better not to know, personally.

just_lurking210 · April 2010

We did. I had a feeling she was a girl. And I had a name set in my heart.

On top of making it easier to refer to the baby between my husband and I, it also helped dignify and personalize her life.

mrsjparker · April 2010

We didn't know the sex yet, but DS jokingly suggested we name the baby Horton (as in "Horton Hears a Who") if it was a boy. At the time it was absurd but now I can't imagine a more lovely name for the baby we lost.

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