Feeling defeated

Temp935838312504158 · April 2010

Just had a huge fight with DH & I am to the point that I just don't care what happens anymore We have been having some issues these past few weeks & just can't get out of this funk. I contribute it to me being hormonal, the stress of our IF problems & him being very unhappy with his job which in turn makes me unhappy because basically he is just miserable to be around.

I have always been a super positive, upbeat kind of person & to have to deal with his negative attitude on a daily basis is starting to not only wear on me but it is starting to affect me as a person. Even people at work have asked what is wrong with me. I feel like I am starting to detach myself from the relationship rather than try & fix it & I know that is not the right thing to do. Somedays I just feel defeated as a wife

Have any of you gone through these rough patches with your husbands? If so, what did you do to get through it? We have tried "talking" it out but that only turns into the same arguement and ends in us both not speaking to each other for a couple of days Anyone have any advice?

TIA for letting me vent....

thebeadinglady · April 2010

I have a little bit of experience with a DH that is unhappy at his job. My DH has been miserable at his current job since we met. It got to the point where he was getting so frustrated with the dumba**es he worked with that he got in yelling matches with them and then he got suspended, and it would bleed into home life too. He would get really mad at the dogs, or if I moved something of his. I decided that he needed to get out of there ASAP.

As much as he always complained about work and said he was going to find a new job he never did the leg work to actually find a new job. So I did. I submitted applications, re-did his resume, and did everything but go on the interviews for him. He is still at the job he hates, but he is in the middle of training for a new job that he is really excited about, and it has made a world of difference.

I don't know what your circumstances are but I would strongly suggest finding him a new job, it really helps to alleviate some of the stress. I am also a big believer in therapy. It might help you to go get some couples counciling. I made my DH go to an anger management specialist and it helped him a lot.

kakunaa · April 2010

you are not alone. i talk to others more about all of this than DH because we don't know how to handle each other. i wish i had some advice for you. i really do. none of this is easy. try writing things down....writing a letter and having a chance to respond in your own time....maybe that will help. keep the fight out of it....(((HUGS)))

doozer1345 · April 2010

My DH have gone through periods like this. Especially with IF. We take breaks off of TTC, and that helps on my end of stress (as well as his, but it's more of a stressor for me). DH has a hectic job, and sometimes gets sooo worn out, and becomes reeally grumpy. I don't like putting up with him like that. So, we'll have a sit down talk and lay out things that we know we can change, and then the things we can't, we try to figure out what would make it easier. DH and I went to counseling before we got married (we were eally dreading it). It has helped soooo much. We still use techniques we learned from counseling, and it has made a world of difference with our communications. Also, I really recommend the book (if you're a reader) The Five Languages of Love. I had DH read it as well, and it has helped me understand him more, as well as vice versa. I hope some of this has helped...GL!!!

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