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Adoption
Frustrated by the home study
We were rocking along and getting things done pretty quickly, but now we're just at a standstill. I know you have all been through this, so I'm preaching to the choir, but all of the stuff required is crazy. We've done our first two of three total visits, we did the lengthy personal interviews, autobiographies, had physicals, have all of our reference letters, etc. But now I'm swamped at work, and taking time off to run around all over creation is just not possible.
The only things we have left are criminal checks and one home visit, and this has been the case for like two weeks. I kept saying we'd be home study approved by April 15, but now it will be May.
I know it's normal for this to take a long time, but I have a very obsessive personality and when I start a project I want it finished soon. I don't know when the heck I'm going to get fingerprinted, go to the sheriff's office to get 911 call records, and have the last home visit.
*Willis*, how the heck did you get your home study done so quickly?? I swear you were done in like two weeks!
I know there isn't much you can say, but I just wanted to vent. I keep getting emails about adoption situations, and I am so ready to be in the place where we can be shown to these birth moms!
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Re: Frustrated by the home study
I can't say much to make you feel better, but just keep your eye on the prize. I can offer this suggestion though. We had a similar issue with MH for his fingerprints. The timing at the police station was awful. Believe it or not, we went to one on a Sunday afternoon. Our SW told us this one was open from 1-3 pm. Perhaps try that out? Make some calls.
Good luck finishing it. It will happen.
Ugh, vent away. I know what you mean about being compulsive on a project!
We received our draft profile yesterday. We decided to adopt on March 23rd. About a week later, we started pulling documents together for the home study. Part of it was good luck - we had most of our records here, DH already had a physical, etc. Plus we only needed one home visit, so that cut out a good portion of time. We did LiveScan for fingerprints, which was incredibly fast. Our local and state agencies had pretty good turn around times too. DH and I split the information needed and went to the appropriate agencies. For better or worse, I'm a transactional attorney and things are slow. DH is a PI attorney, so he has cush hours
.
I'll be honest too - we didn't fill out our personal information with great detail. I figured we'd get into whatever needed to be discussed at our meeting. I like to think we're good people and excess information isn't needed
Hang in there. I know it's frustrating right now.
I wish we had started our home study back when I had cush hours. I had so little work at my old family law firm that it would have been a breeze to get this all done. Plus, the office was in the same county where we lived, so it would have been very convenient. Oh well.
Are you at a small firm? If so, what are you doing about maternity leave? I have only been at my firm for two months, and it's also a six attorney firm. I know there is no way I'll have any paid leave since I'm so new. However, I"m not sure how much time to ask for - especially since my boss, who adopted, told me that she only took three weeks (and worked from home during that time!!) I'm thinking four weeks, but that seems so short. I'm also not sure how long we can go without my income, so that's another consideration. Is six weeks unreasonable for a small firm?
It can be frustrating. I know when we did ours we had to have 3 meetings with the SW-2 at her office and one in our home. She had to interview each of us at 2 of the meetings and the third was just a check of our home. We ran around getting everything together and had everything back to the SW in about 2 weeks, but the meetings she scheduled were spread out and I had to kept calling/e-mailing her asking if she had the home study typed up or not. Finally, she got us a rough draft (probably because of my nagging). From the first moment we did anything with it until we had a final copy was about 8 weeks.
Our updated one (thankfully) only took 2 weeks. It had just been completed when we got the call about Ben. We didn't even had a copy. It was sent to the agency by our SW.
I hope you are able to find the time to get everything completed. I remember how frustrated I was with the process. We only had one home visit and individual interviews with the SW at the office, but it seemed like we could never get the scheduling right. We did all of the paperwork, fingerprints as well as visits and interviews withing 4 weeks because I was leaving for a 3-month assignement (I was able to take time off from work here and there to do it). I just remember running around trying to schedule appointments. My frustration set in when the SW took 5 months to complete her write up. I knew that they were not going to start the search until I came back, but I thought she would take that time to write the home study. Instead, she didn't start writing the home study until after I came home. They didn't start searching until 2.5 months after I returned home. I was so frustrated. Every day I felt like time was being taken away from me.
Hang in there. This is at times a frustrating process but there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
We were in the same boat. We kept hitting mini-snags. DH took forever to get his autobiography done, and I had to not nag him. Our state clearances got lost in the mail and I waited 9 weeks to call and find out where they were. Our final home visit was in mid September, but our agency office got swamped with placements, etc., so it took until sometime in October to get our final HS report.
I just had to keep remembering that this would happen in due time, and our baby was out there. And she was.
Hang in there!
I'm sorry! our first time around we were finished in 30 days, but this last time took 4.5 months. And were just as quick as the first time! It just took our finger prints forever to get back!
I wish I had an answer for you, things just don't always go the way you hope.. isn't that life?
VEnt away!