stupid, stupid chemical pregnancy

mmz · April 2010

I really thought this was the month. took several tests over the weekend, three different brands. all BFPs. then I started spotting and the BFPs started getting lighter. took a blood test yesterday (still waiting for the results), but temp went way down this morning, and a pee test yesterday was BFN. so, I already know what the blood test will suggest -- chemical pregnancy.

I will NEVER test early again. If I had waited until the day I was due (yesterday), I would have never known. I am devastated. It's taking every bit of strength I have not to have a meltdown.

my husband reminds me (rightly so) that we already have a beautiful child. and even if #2 never happens, it will be OK.

one positive is that at least we know now that we can conceive.

still, I am so crushed. thanks for letting me vent, ladies.

joyfulnature · April 2010

Hi, MMZ.

You definitely need to grieve, vent, cry, scream, and/or all of the above. So let it out! That's why we're here.

((((hugs))))

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Deanne Shehane · April 2010

So sorry for your loss. Take the time to grieve. It took me a while too.

*Chicken* · April 2010

I'm so sorry. Any type of miscarriage is hard for the person who is dealing with it. And your right, you know you can get pregnant, my RE has been repeating that to me and reminds me that is half the battle and it will happen again. It will for you, also, and your will have a sibling for your child soon.

Your husband sounds like mine which always calms me, hopefully it does you as well.

stever · April 2010

I'm so sorry. Left Hug

Doodle2011 · April 2010

Of course you're upset, and that's ok. I think it's damn near impossible not to POAS before your expected start date, but sometimes I think it's best to just sit on your hands and wait. Hang in there.

jcath · April 2010

I'm so sorry - its just miserable. I think its totally normal that you are devastated.

izzourclue · April 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. {{hugs}} Its a good point you make against testing early. I think we all think the only down side to testing early is the disappointing BFN, but the let down that you are experiencing is sooo much more devastating. Feel free to come vent anytime.

OscarQ · April 2010

I am sorry. All types of miscarriage and loss should be outlawed by nature. It sucks - so does IF - I'm banning IF too.

shyntrue · April 2010

{{{Hugs}}}

Haribo1 · April 2010

I am really sorry for your loss =(

mmz · April 2010

you ladies are truly amazing. it really does help to vent to people who understand. thank you for all of the good vibes. they mean a lot.

the sad update is what I expected. the beta came back negative, and I've started bright red spotting. when I get home from work, I'm goint to have a full-out cry.