What do I say to DH

noah-bear · April 2010

He's very down and depressed about it. He had just started to get his hopes up and talk about the baby then this.

Is there anything I can say/do to help him? Or do I just let him come to me when he needs it?

mrsmacias2008 · April 2010

Just hold him sweetie. Tell him that you are there for him and you need him too. Tell him you love him and you will get through this together.

3ltlones · April 2010

I think I would just tell him that you are there and see if he wants to talk. He probably won't right now, but at least he will know he can if he wants to. Sorry sweetie, it's just the worst place to be.

GuppyAmy · April 2010

I can only say what I would do with my DH. My DH is a guy who likes to think things over on his own and when he's ready to talk, he'll come to me. So I would let him have his time and then eventually, try to talk to him about it. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. And I'm sorry that this happened to you.

Sunflower730 · April 2010

Just hold him and cry.

jen629 · April 2010

MY DH I think was very angry and didn't want to talk at all about it so I would let him come to you {{{HUGS}}}} I am so sorry

BeachCole · April 2010

I think all you can really do is let him know that you are there for him whenever he is ready to talk. Speaking just about how my DH is - he needs to process things before he can talk, especially when it's something that's hard or hurts him. I'm just so sorry y'all have to go through this again. Keeping you both in my t&p.

iammad · April 2010

Noah, I am so sorry. I think the best thing to do is to know that you're there for him anytime, anywhere. My DH was angry for a couple days, as he's a 'fix it' kind of guy. There's nothing you can say to fix things. Just be there for each other, hug, cry and laugh when you can.

Mollys_Mom · April 2010

Maybe just let him know that he can come to you to talk about it whenever he wants and then let him do it in his own time? But letting him know that it's OK to talk about it with you is important - he needs to be able to confront his grief, but may be afraid to do it together with you.

I know my husband sometimes avoids conversation about our daughter's death because it always makes me cry. He doesn't want to upset me. But that is just how I "deal" - he needed to know that it's OK if I cry. I don't know if your husband is the same way but I'm sure he doesn't like to see you upset. A reminder that you can get through this better together and the freedom to do it when he is ready may make all the difference for him.

I'm just so sorry....

circe811 · April 2010

mrsmacias2008:
Just hold him sweetie. Tell him that you are there for him and you need him too. Tell him you love him and you will get through this together.

Excellent advice.

nurseJK · April 2010

Encourage him to talk about it. A lot of times men do not have anyone to talk to. Hug each other and cry together.

vflipo · April 2010

I agree with holding each other and crying. I am so so so so sorry that you are going through this again.

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