Why do you want children?

MoFree · April 2010

I'm not asking to be a wisea$$ or as a trick question, but looking for legitimate reasons to want children. This issue came up in therapy today and although I have always thought of having children and that my life would be meaningless if I did not raise a family, I could not articulate any cogent reasons other than that has always been part of my life plan.

Can someone more articulate than I put into words why you want children.

NYC1216 · April 2010

I think that is a great question. I too have always felt that my life would be meaningless without children. To me, it is part of life to have a family and watch them grow.

I also am dying to be a mom. I cant wait for that day for someone to call me mom and feel like I can protect them. I want to tuck them in at night, make them lunch for school. All those things that my mom did for me.

I want to have children and want them to have me as a mom.

HitchedinIN · April 2010

Honestly, I have a tough time coming up with good, unselfish reasons to want to carry a child. Yet, I'm taking the appropriate steps to create a new life.

Why do I want to experience parenthood? To try my best to make some one else (the child(ren)) happy and give them good life experiences. To experience their day to day ups and downs and try to help them navigate through life. To share happiness, love, knowledge and hopefully an open mind. As I'm writing this I realize it sounds cheesy. But there are a lot of beautiful experiences to be had with children. You canmake little imprints on other peoples' children, but can only have a greater impact on your own, regardless of how they come to be a member of your family.

MoFree · April 2010

NYC1216:

I think that is a great question. I too have always felt that my life would be meaningless without children. To me, it is part of life to have a family and watch them grow.

I also am dying to be a mom. I cant wait for that day for someone to call me mom and feel like I can protect them. I want to tuck them in at night, make them lunch for school. All those things that my mom did for me.

I want to have children and want them to have me as a mom.

Thanks for your response.

When I think about it logically, there is no compelling reason. Economically, it does not make sense. There are absolutely no guarantees in child rearing and we cannot expect our children to take care of us in our old age. I also did not have a particularly loving and wonderful upbringing, so it's not like I have a great role model in front of me.

I am also dying to be a parent and it eats away at me that I might not have the chance to do so, but I wish I could be clearer about my reasons.

kimarino13 · April 2010

I wanted children because I wanted to be a mom, and see my husband as a dad. I wanted to see my parents as grandparents, my brothers as uncles and see the world through a child's eyes. I wanted to experience the things I did as a child, but with my own child.

kthappy76 · April 2010

Because I genuinely love kids, I actually prefer them to adults most days... I've spent a lot of my life taking care of other's kids and it's just not the same. I also can't imagine finding any other life vocation that would give me anywhere near equal satisfaction than raising another human being, though I will probably continue to work outside the home. I think we as adults have much to learn from sacrificing for and learning from our children. Oh, and I think DH and I will have adorable kids... Wink

KoCoLoCo · April 2010

Is "Because I am totally hot and want to bless the world with more of me" an acceptable answer?

I kid, I kid!!!!! Stick out tongue

madelyn07 · April 2010

kimarino13:
I wanted children because I wanted to be a mom, and see my husband as a dad. I wanted to see my parents as grandparents, my brothers as uncles and see the world through a child's eyes. I wanted to experience the things I did as a child, but with my own child.

Wow, Kim, that's a great response!

And I agree Stick out tongue

whispergrrl · April 2010

Great question....but hard to put into words!

For me....I've always loved kids. When I was a teenager, I babysat all the time and I worked for the local preschool/daycare when they had their mom's meetings in the evenings a couple times a month, I was the "go to" girl to watch all the kids! I had a blast. There's just something about being part of these little lives. Helping them learn things. Watching them learn about their surroundings, and life in general. Comforting them when they are sad or hurt.

When I was younger, I figured I would wait until I was older to have kids. I wanted to go to college, get married, have a career, then have kids.

The older I got, I watched all of my friends and cousins and such have their kids. At first, I thought I was just being selfish - wanting to hurry up and have a child of my own. Yeah, I could spend time with everyone else's babies and older kids. I could get all of those "warm fuzzies". But I soon realized that it isn't the same just "visiting". I wanted those looks the baby or toddler gives. I wanted the child to cling to me - and for me to be the one that comforts the child's anxiety. I want to be the one the child runs to excitedly, to tell me about the cool bug that was found, or how they got an A on their spelling test. I want to help shape the little into the best person he/she can be. I want to pass on my family history, and share my family with a little one who is a ~part of me~. Simply put, I want to be "Mommy". For me, it's just not enough anymore that I'm "Risa"...the cool friend of Mom who does fun stuff with us and watches us when Mom and Dad go out. I want to be there for the good/fun stuff..but I want to be there for the middle of the night feedings, the poopy diapers, the doctors visits, the scraped knees, the first time my child falls in love, the first heartbreak. I want it all. Maybe that makes me greedy...but this is the best way I can verbalize it. I want to be Mommy.

I still don't know if I will be lucky enough to conceive a baby. If that doesn't happen for us, I'm completely open to adoption. I just know that I have enough love to share with a child, and the desire to do so - whether that child comes from my body or not.

I hope this helps.....

Marrisa

miamicubajam · April 2010

Life honestly has no meaning without family, in my eyes of course. We consume all our days with work, paying bills, materialistic things, home repairs, cleaning, exercising, traveling, etc. yet if tomorrow is our last day to live...can we look back and say that any of that mattered? Honestly for me its not. I can't take my home, cars, work, health, etc. into the grave with me. The only thing I can, are the wonderful memories along the way. Those are usually spent with family. I would love to pass along unconditional love to my child(ren) one day and bring them all the happiness life can offer. Make beautiful memories, watch them grow and hopefully when I grow old...I can look back at life and know all these struggles were well worth it. I hope that some day I can have my children or grandchildren to enjoy as I retire. Life is the most precious gift and that's all I ever wished for. I am so ready to be a mother and watch my DH becoming an amazing father. Smile

It's not about children completing our marriage. Our marriage is strong and we are complete but our family has room to grow and we are ready to venture into new experiences.

MoFree · April 2010

KoCoLoCo:

Is "Because I am totally hot and want to bless the world with more of me" an acceptable answer?

I kid, I kid!!!!!

Love that answer. Unfortunately, some very hot people have children who are not as hot. Look at Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal's son and you will see that 2 hotties does not always = 1 gorgeous child.

scatterbrainliz · April 2010

I want a child because I want to experience that special bond that mothers have with their little one which is something I missed out on as being adopted. I want to give our child the love I wish I had growing up. I also think my husband would make a great dad. If my scenario were different, I would love to see how our child would look like with my features combined with my husband's but unfortunately that isn't the case.

This is kind of tough to put into words but overall I just want to be able to create a child and knowing we'll love him or her forever.

AuburnBride06 · April 2010

miamicubajam:
Life honestly has no meaning without family, in my eyes of course. We consume all our days with work, paying bills, materialistic things, home repairs, cleaning, exercising, traveling, etc. yet if tomorrow is our last day to live...can we look back and say that any of that mattered? Honestly for me its not. I can't take my home, cars, work, health, etc. into the grave with me. The only thing I can, are the wonderful memories along the way. Those are usually spent with family. I would love to pass along unconditional love to my child(ren) one day and bring them all the happiness life can offer. Make beautiful memories, watch them grow and hopefully when I grow old...I can look back at life and know all these struggles were well worth it. I hope that some day I can have my children or grandchildren to enjoy as I retire. Life is the most precious gift and that's all I ever wished for. I am so ready to be a mother and watch my DH becoming an amazing father. It's not about children completing our marriage. Our marriage is strong and we are complete but our family has room to grow and we are ready to venture into new experiences.

I agree and can identify a lot with what Miami said. To me, what matters in life is the people. and the love. When I die it's not going to say anything about my degree, my work or how much $$$ I have on my tombstone. It will say (hopefully) devoted wife and mother. And it will be the people around that gravestone that will be what matters. And I want to teach a child everything I have been taught and have them experience what a wonderful family I have.

When we decided to adopt, and since then, I have thought a lot about this question. While it took a while to mourn our "biology", what has stood out all along is that I want to be a mother. And mostly, I want to see my DH be a dad. That, I can absolutely not wait for. The baby we get may not have our blood, but it will still have the very best of my DH and I.

It's such a complex question, yet really can be very simple. Being a mother has been in me, I believe, since I was born. NOT being a mother just has never crossed my mind, never been an option. I've always seen being a mother as life.

caityr · April 2010

To nurture another person, watch them grow, and share the love I have with someone, to be responsible for someone else-all while sharing this with dh. I know this ? was raised when we did therapy and the answer ended up being to have a "richer" life experience, in a nutshell.

Amie8301 · April 2010

What a tough question....

For me it's because I know deep down inside that it's the reason for my existance. I was put on this earth to be a mother. Also, my DH and love each other so much and have such a strong bond that we want to be able to share it with another/others through parenthood. I also come from an AMAZING family and so does DH and to be able to bring someone into that, would be more wonderful than I can ever express.

Oh, and because my DH would make freakin cute little babies, I'm sure of it

juliannat · April 2010

I think Kim put it perfectly (though KoCoLoCo was damn funny!)

And the selfish part of me wants to love a child like the way I felt my mom never really did/does. My DH is also 7 yrs older than me and I can't bear the thought of him going before me without some piece of him still left. But to be clear, those 2 things are really minor compared to the rest.

Trust me, you think about a lot about "why you want children" when you have to use someone else's eggs!

PoeticJustice · April 2010

kimarino13:
I wanted children because I wanted to be a mom, and see my husband as a dad. I wanted to see my parents as grandparents, my brothers as uncles and see the world through a child's eyes. I wanted to experience the things I did as a child, but with my own child.

Yes

SeptemberBride'08 · April 2010

For many years I just wanted kids because it was what I was supposed to want and it was the next step.

Now on month three of Lupron treatment so much has changed in my life. I see my nephews, see kids in schools, see families going for walks or eating out and there is a hollow empty spot in me that longs to have that. A family, my own children. Whether these children are adopted or I have them on my own....I want my own family with my husband. I want to share my love with children of my own, read them the books that where special to me, teach them to count, talk them on walks and give them all the love my heart can give.?

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